in the light of overstimulation
(I) feel the need to welcome some of it
the empty head that fills with the denial of
two thousand years of malpracticed belief
tell the martyr to hold off divinity
his children need a place to belong
call the preacher in need of an exorcism
someone said that jesus was wrong

there there, its just his lucid effigy
trapped in a kosmoS far from the being
in time, there will be enough to hold us
in silence
and overdivinity

in the penetrative mind of others'
there's no need to feel
betrayed
someone once opened the shutters
and now we're
all afraid
theres never quite enough to hold you
though they try to
feed you thought
the war on solstice is imposing
and father machine's distraught

I like it. The last verse is what I really like.

Dear Ruan,

My #1 fan. I believe you tried too hard with this poem and used some words that do not really fit into the intended context. Go back to the basics and pick up 'There's a Wocket in my Pocket' this should help you improve.

Love,
D. Toledo

i agree...might be a bit too wordy. but i do believe this piece has some potential. keep developing it. reach deep down.

thanks for reminding me what illiteracy means.

Greeting Ruan,

Please fuck off.

Cordially,
D.C. Toledoz

That was really good man.....I liked it.