I tried to search for the marines, but shocker there were too many military threads to sift through.

Apparently the marines are one of the more "hardcore" and prestigious branches of the military. This is subject to debate, I'm sure. Well my boyfriend's dad fought in Vietnam many years ago. He still has PTSD and he still cannot sleep at night. They are having a marine core convention in Quincy this week and apparently my boyfriend's dad attends it all over the country every single year. Normally the family goes as well.

All he ever does is talk about the marines, and semper fi, and people give him marine "gifts" and scrapbooks constantly. He loves it, but I am disturbed that he has never been able to let go.

I understand the desire to reconnect with your war buddies. I mean you went through trauma together and saw people get killed. But celebrating the marine-hood every year since you got out? Perhaps it helps heal them of all the trauma they endured. Helps them realize they are not alone in their suffering and love for the marines? I'm sure it's better to NOT pretend it never happened.

I worry that I'm not a very enlightened person because I cannot wrap my brain around it. Maybe their therapists think it's good that they identify themselves first and foremost as marines.

Am I an evil liberal? I have 2 ex-marine uncles and 2 ex-navy grandpas and sometimes we even forget they were in the military. But they never saw any combat. Does the combat make people bond?

It just seems unhealthy to me. Any ex military people who can comment?

The guys that still introduce themselves with their rank, etc really disturb me.
Dan Marino doesn't introduce himself as "Dan Marino, QB, Miami Dolphins"

You are about to incur the wrath of Little Wing.

how does it go for these guys loyalty?

1. marines
2. god
3. country
4. family?

I have three ex-Marine friends.

With one, we trade college/Marine drinking stories all the time.

With the other two, we talk about how much we hate Bush.

None of the three seem to miss the Marines very much, or if they do, they don't tell me.

Just this idea is absurd to me.

Many of the men in my family were in the military, but it does not come up in conversation with them, because they're not in the military anymore. There's a segment of folks who just can't stop living in that time in their life, just like the guys who can't grow out of their college lifestyles, etc.

No, that's not up for debate. Who does security for the president? Who's predominant bunch in Iraq? Who did all the dirty work in Afghanistan? Who's providing the security in Djibouti? The Marine Corp is far and away the best force the United States has and on so many levels as well.

The Marine Corp is the only war culture left on the face of the earth. That's it. That's what the Marine Corp is about.

So far as loyalty goes, everyone has their own opinions. The rule of thumb though, the motto so to speak, is God, Country, Corps.

Why do we have such loyalty? Well, you listed a few things. The only way to describe it is like an unbelievably close knit fraternity. But a fraternity that watches brothers fall, people die, and people get hurt. There's an extreme amount of tradition within the Marine Corps and it's tradition that we cling to very closely. We are extremely consciencious about our history. There's just so much pride that goes into being a Marine, and the only people that have any clue what it is really like are other Marines.

I imagine your boyfriends dad was a lifer. Not too many are lifers. Not too many even re-elist (Lord knows I won't.) For those guys, those lifers, they meet so many incredibly valuable people along the way. I mean, it's like meeting people JUST LIKE YOU but under those types of conditions.

It's so hard to explain. I know exactly what you're talking about, but I'm just not one of those Marines.

Because the Marines aren't a branch of the Armed Forces ... they're just lackeys for the Navy.

My grandfather was the same way he never talked about being in WWII. I learned more about what in did in the war after he died. I asked my grandmother why he never talked about it. She said he flet it was just something he did but had nothing to do with who he was.

i don't think it is so strange that your boyfriend's dad still identifies so strongly as a marine corps war vet. people who experience painful and life changing events often need the support of people who "understand".

this next part is not meant to be insulting to marines, rather a comparative example to those who have PTSD:

for example, recovering alcoholics continue to identfy as recovering alcoholics for years/decades and get very attached to their AA friends and sponsors because those people have hit rock bottom too, so you don't need to waste a lot of time explaining the pain and ongoing struggle of staying sober. communication is easier, more comfortable, and on a basic level, therapeutic.

then there is the whole brotherhood thing going on in the marine corps, so the bond created by combat is even deeper by virtue of their training.

so unless your dad's boyfriend is over-identifying with his past and excluding and insulting all others who have not had the same experiences as him, i think that this yearly get together is a rather positive support mechanism. it may get irritating that he talks about it so much, but at least he has support and companionship through his pain.

lastly, my dad was a marine. he does not talk about it much because there is not much to talk about. he got amazingly lucky and finished his tour of duty 2 weeks before his unit got sent to vietnam.

The best compliment and assesment I can give to the USMC is this:


I'm glad their on our side.

they're

if that's the belief within the marines, well, let's be glad they aren't leading anthropologists.

There's not a single scene with Hartman that doesn't have me pissing myself.

I actually appreciate the insite. My bf's dad was only in Vietnam for 2 1/2 years and I think his service was 4 years total? I don't have a problem with him being proud, I just worry about the fixation. Like sometimes he seems more proud to have been marine than he is proud for his children

His wife was/is a total hippie too. She helped the draft dodgers
So he isn't obsessed to the point where he would not marry a hippie.

I turn that movie off after the first 45 minutes.

I have no use for anything past the boot camp scenes.

This is not a negative post on the marines, but a big part of the indoctriantion of this particular military branch is a loss of self. You are programmed to behave in a certain manner, and there is reasoning behind it, but some people never come back from it. It is pretty much what the movie Jarhead is about. Programming people to be killers or military elite and not really teaching them how to deal with it.


It is like any religion or political movement, or even college devotion. There are certain people who are much more built to absorb it without question then others, and there are those who can participate while maintaining a sense of self. I went to church and religious schools most of my life, joined a fraternity, campaigned for an independent, none of it stuck. It was always fun, but I always had a very outsider view on the proceedings, and was able to determine reality from situational herd behavior. I of course would probably make a horrible marine.

I love that movie until they leave boot camp. I think it is just about perfect until the Nancy Sinatra kicks in.

funny. that's the same story we got after my grandfather died.




i have two really close friends who have served as marines. one is the die hard "brainwashed" type and the other just sees at as a way to pay for his student loans and doesn't associate himself with it at all.