I usually don't talk about my kids on this board because it's boring, and people that constantly talk about their kids are boring. For example...

Quint: "Julia said 'Da Da' for the first time yesterday! She's so cute!"
You: * snoring * That's great.

See what I mean? But sometimes kids do stuff that is worthy of message board banter. This all happened last night within an hour of my arrival.

I got home from work last night and sat down to dinner. Lisa had already eaten with our 17-month old twins. I was sitting at the table with Rebecca. Lisa walked into the kitchen naked (she was about to shower so she could go out with friends), and she put down a few small garbage cans from the bathroom and bedrooms and asked, "can you empty this garbage into the kitchen garbage and take it all outside when you're done. And don't let the babies get into it?" I said, "sure" and continued eating. Less than a minute later, I looked up and saw Julia chewing on a used MaxiPad. I yelled, "Nooooo!!!" as I jumped up and grabbed it from her mouth. Fucking nasty!!!

Fifteen minutes later, I'm washing all 3 kids in the bathtub while Lisa is getting dressed. As I finished washing each child, I dried them off and sent them out the bathroom door (naked) one-by-one so Lisa could get them dressed for bed. I was just finishing drying the last child when I heard Lisa yell, "Don't let Emily into our bedroom... Julia just took a crap on the floor!" So I walked to our bedroom quickly and Emily was already in there. She was bent over and picking up a turd that Julia had just cranked less than a minute before. I'm certain Emily was going to take a bite of that turd. But I grabbed her wrist just in time and I shook the turd to the floor, picked up Emily and brought her to the bathroom to wash her hands. Luckily the turd was hard and not too messy.

My life is insane.

Wow.

I need kids.

OK.

This the thread of the year.

Contest over.






This thread illustrates on why I'm in no hurry to have kids.

i tried to read the whole thread, but couldnt make it past your wife walking around in the nood

so what'd you get your kids for christmas?


i kid. that story was hilarious.

tears of laughter in my eyes.

"why don't you have more kids Teri?"

duh.

and upon reading this threads title, im sure a few guys just hit the reply button with

*yes*

but then re-read the post

thread of the year, no contest. your kids are awesome.

I love a good Christmas story.

I'm glad we were so careful, aren't you?

*runs*

*hides*

Oh yes. Too bad my fiance wants a kid eventually. She can clean up the dookie on the floor.

i'm told when i was a kid i used to pretend cat turds were matchbox cars.

OH
MY
GOD.

Does a bear shit in the woods?

Your kids are weird.

im glad i had already had lunch because i would have been able to after this story , though im trying not to think about it much because i dont want the food to come back up

your kids are kick ass though

Quint, you butter my rye toast.