based on the top ten seinfeld episodes....


commence



"I'm out"

That may be THE best line of that show.

A good one from the same episode...

You'll be out before we get the check! (Jerry to Kramer)

"I've cut slices so thin I couldn't even see them"- Kramer
"How did you know you cut a slice?"-Elaine
"Well I guess I just assumed..."-Kramer

I don't know if this was in the top 10 episodes, but Kramer's speach in the "Heeellllooooooooo" episode get's me everytime:

(paraphrased)

"If you would have told me 10 years ago that I would be solving the worlds oil spill problem, I would have called you crazy....but thanks to people like you and their devotion to Kramerica Industies, we're making that dream a reality.......Now let's push that big ball of oil out the window"

---------------------------------

I also enjoyed the Sarenity Now episode when Kramer smashes all the computers....And then George freaks out and Kramer goes....."George, Listen to me..........I owe you one....." Then the way he slaps George on the back and exits the room....classic Kramer stuff....

Kramer : The bus is outta control. So I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel, and now I'm driving the bus.

Jerry : Wow.

George Costanza : You're Batman.

Kramer : Yeah, yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to and he starts choking me. So I'm fighting him off with one hand and I kept driving the bus with the other, ya know. Then I managed to open up the door and I kicked him out the door, ya know, with my foot, ya know, at the next stop.

Jerry : You kept making all the stops?

Kramer : Well, people kept ringing the bell.

Jerry : I don't understand. Do you have my reservation?

Rental Car Agent : We have your reservation, we just ran out of cars.

Jerry : But the reservation keeps the car here. That's why you have the reservation.

Rental Car Agent : I think I know why we have reservations.

Jerry : I don't think you do. You see, you know how to *take* the reservation, you just don't know how to *hold* the reservation. And that's really the most important part of the reservation: the holding. Anybody can just take them.

whoa whoa whoa

*hand motion*

back up

*beep beep beep*

(Definitely not word for word but...)



Look at Jerry prancing around in his fur coat with his purse...he's a real fancy boy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So you think you're spongeworthy?
Yes I believe I'm spongeworthy.
Run your case down for me again...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Serenity now! Serenity now!"

Do you have a square to spare ?

From "The Outing:"

George: Jerry, did you wash this pear?
Jerry: I don't know.
George: It looks like it hasn't been washed.
Jerry: So...wash it.
George: You hear the way he talks to me?
Sharon: You should hear the way my boyfriend talks to me.

"I don't see no white boy, I see a damn fool!"

"Ask the 8 Ball!"

"It was the moops!"

---

"Jerry, just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it."

---

"You're an anti-dentite!"

---

Estelle Costanza : Well, I'm out there.
George Costanza : No, you're not.
Estelle Costanza : Yes I am.
George Costanza : No, you're not! Because I'm out there, and if I see *you* out there, there's not enough voltage in the universe to electroshock me back into coherence.

---

Jerry : This isn't a good time.
Telemarketer: When would be a good time to call back sir?
Jerry : I have an idea, why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you back later?
Telemarketer: Umm, we're not allowed to do that.
Jerry : Oh, I guess because you don't want strangers calling you at home.
[hangs up the phone]

THESE PRETZELS ARE MAKING ME THIRSTY!!!

"So what do you do there all day?"

"They gave me the Pensky file."
- Jerry and George, in "The Barber"

George: "The sea was angry that day my firends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli."


NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!!! NEXT!!!!

George Costanza : Why do they make the condom packets so hard to open?
Jerry : Probably to give the woman a chance to change her mind.

"You have no idea what my people have been through."

"The Jews?"

"No, the dentists. Did you know we have the highest suicide rate of any profession?"

"Is that why it's so hard to get an appointment?"

- Tim Whatley and Jerry, in "The Yada Yada"

i always get the feeling that when lesbians look at me, they're thinking, 'That's why i'm not a heterosexual.'

-george

Hand Model Agent: "He wasn't . . . shall we say . . . master of his domain." "We can only hope that you can exercise more restraint."

George: "Don't worry . . . I won a contest."