i'm not sure if this will spark any kind of debate or just ire and annoyance. i have to say i was a little surprised at the extremity of the comment:
Quote:
"To me the customers are not men; they are this whole other species. All the men I know in my real life would never go to these places and just have nothing to do with that whole culture. And so, to me, I don't really count them as real people. They aren't people I would interact with for free in real life. They are people I only see as part of a business transaction."
---Rachel, stripper, as quoted in Stripped: Inside the Lives of Exotic Dancers
in this book, there are many more like comments from other sex workers in peep shows, topless bars, and full nude bars, so this is not a unique sentiment by any stretch.
i have heard from you men that you don't care what the girls are thinking, you just want entertainment. would you file this commentary under that same "don't care" category?
_________________ cirlces they grow and they swallow people whole half their lives they say goodnight to wives they'll never know got a mind full of questions and a teacher in my soul and so it goes
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 4:56 pm Posts: 19957 Location: Jenny Lewis' funbags
Comments like that seem awfully condescending for someone who grinds their cooch against a pole for dollar bills. Forgive me if i don't empathize with the plight of strippers. Ugly people manage to make a living without being objectified, so why not leave the stripper game and go join them?
Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2005 3:13 am Posts: 4932 Location: SEX MAKES BABIES?!
They aren't men? I think she's confusing words here. I think she means they aren't the type of people she would hang out with. But in that same sense, there are probably many people who would have nothing to do with her because she's a stripper. I know I would never marry, date, or even fuck a stripper. But yeah, guys in strip clubs are sitting credit cards. Seems pretty obvious to me.
Also, maybe the thread title should be "What strippers think of customers"
_________________ What I'm currently watching: Two Hot Lesbians in Double Loving Hot Spa Outing Extravaganza
Comments like that seem awfully condescending for someone who grinds their cooch against a pole for dollar bills. Forgive me if i don't empathize with the plight of strippers. Ugly people manage to make a living without being objectified, so why not leave the stripper game and go join them?
Quote:
As soon as you mention the word "dancer" or "stripper" or "exotic daner" people automatically have this thought in their mind that "she's a prostitute, and she sells her body for money." It's not even like that. I look at it as there are girls that go to these nightclubs, and they are dancing on the dance floor practically half naked, and they are bumping and grinding with guys they just met. I look at it as if girls are doing it every night, and doing it for free. What is so bad about me getting up onstage and taking my top off and getting paid for it? People don't look at it that way, they think because you take your clothes off for a living you are a bad person. Some of the best people I have ever met are or were dancers, and a lot of them go into dancing for good reasons--like they are trying to put themselves through college or they are raising a family becuse they are single mothers. I know girls that are dancers that were going to school to become doctors and lawyers. Not all of them are bad people." --Tara, single mother and former dancer
and then once the women get into dancing, the money becomes the reason they stay.
and the woman in the original quote was not complaining about her job, rather making the distinction between the men she sees in the clubs and the men she socializes with.
_________________ cirlces they grow and they swallow people whole half their lives they say goodnight to wives they'll never know got a mind full of questions and a teacher in my soul and so it goes
People don't look at it that way, they think because you take your clothes off for a living you are a bad person.
but isnt she guilty too of may a generalization, big deal, a guy throws 5 at her to show her tits and grind her twat on him...doesnt neccissarily make him a bad guy either
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 4:56 pm Posts: 19957 Location: Jenny Lewis' funbags
Quote:
and a lot of them go into dancing for good reasons--like they are trying to put themselves through college
Chris Rock once said "I don't know any colleges that accept one dollar bills as tuition"
Seriously, though
kiddo wrote:
and the woman in the original quote was not complaining about her job, rather making the distinction between the men she sees in the clubs and the men she socializes with.
But the customers ARE the job. Without them she would be taking her clothes off for bouncers, bartenders and a mirror. Without them she has no job, so if she has a problem with them she has a problem with the job. In that case she should strongly consider a career that doesn't involve opening herself up to objectification.
My problem is that she is elevating herself above her clientele, which she sees as less than human, or in her words "a different species". Since she is taking part in the transaction too, i don't see how she is any better or worse than the person recieving the service. Is the drug dealer a better person than the junkie?
And if this woman believes that her male friends have never been to a strip club she is either in complete denial or she is hanging around with 14 yr old boys. I can't think of a single friend of mine who hasn't been inside a strip club, myself included.
People don't look at it that way, they think because you take your clothes off for a living you are a bad person.
but isnt she guilty too of may a generalization, big deal, a guy throws 5 at her to show her tits and grind her twat on him...doesnt neccissarily make him a bad guy either
most places do not allow physical contact.
but men in clubs can be really abusive, telling the dancers they are sluts, they are ugly, they are worthless. men can be grabby despite rules, tear off g strings, throw change at the girls, and generally make the atmosphere negative and demeaning. it makes late career dancers zone out the men and look at it all as a business transaction.
_________________ cirlces they grow and they swallow people whole half their lives they say goodnight to wives they'll never know got a mind full of questions and a teacher in my soul and so it goes
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 4:56 pm Posts: 19957 Location: Jenny Lewis' funbags
Do you think there is a distinction between the "regulars"...the guys who are always there buying lap dances and generally treating the stippers like pieces of meat night after night, and people who go there socially with a group of friends? Or is it a general condemnation of any male who walks through the door?
Do you think there is a distinction between the "regulars"...the guys who are always there buying lap dances and generally treating the stippers like pieces of meat night after night, and people who go there socially with a group of friends? Or is it a general condemnation of any male who walks through the door?
usually the regulars are the ones who treat the women the best, and the women compete fiercely for the attention of the regualrs. it is the men who go once or once in a while with a group of drunk buddies who try to show off by treating the girls like shit that the women really hate.
it is not getting treated like meat that is the problem here, it is being yelled at, called names, groped and pinched that is the problem. the women understand the flesh component of it and work that as bes tthey can. that is their job. but it is not their job to get harrassed and insulted.
_________________ cirlces they grow and they swallow people whole half their lives they say goodnight to wives they'll never know got a mind full of questions and a teacher in my soul and so it goes
well, being called names? big whoop, no different than fans yelling at barry bonds or TO. you pay money to see something, and if you dont like it, you can voice your opinion
they dont allow men to contact, women are, hence the term lapdance
i can't really speak to this because i am no expert.
but from the book i know that dancers break the no contact rule all the time because it will get her a bigger tip, and the clubs turn a blind eye to that because it means more profit for them too.
some women will provide other "services" against club policy, too, and it is all in the name of increasing their tips. it is a really fine line for them...it becomes "well, i just took off all my clothes and spread my vag in his face, why not make an extra $50 by giving him a blow after hours?"
that makes it difficult for the women who are not willing to break the rules. they end up making no money some nights, and in some places they have to pay a high stage fee (in san francisco it is upwards to %150/night), so they can end up in the negative.
_________________ cirlces they grow and they swallow people whole half their lives they say goodnight to wives they'll never know got a mind full of questions and a teacher in my soul and so it goes
Last edited by kiddo on Wed Sep 27, 2006 1:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 4:56 pm Posts: 19957 Location: Jenny Lewis' funbags
kiddo wrote:
MF wrote:
Do you think there is a distinction between the "regulars"...the guys who are always there buying lap dances and generally treating the stippers like pieces of meat night after night, and people who go there socially with a group of friends? Or is it a general condemnation of any male who walks through the door?
usually the regulars are the ones who treat the women the best, and the women compete fiercely for the attention of the regualrs. it is the men who go once or once in a while with a group of drunk buddies who try to show off by treating the girls like shit that the women really hate.
it is not getting treated like meat that is the problem here, it is being yelled at, called names, groped and pinched that is the problem. the women understand the flesh component of it and work that as bes tthey can. that is their job. but it is not their job to get harrassed and insulted.
Isn't it the bouncers job to prevent that sort of behavior though? Obviously nobody should have to put up with that kind of treatment. I will say that from my limited strip club experience, i've never seen anything of that nature happen. Everybody in the club was generally well behaved....maybe that's just Montreal, the french are known for their politeness
Do you think there is a distinction between the "regulars"...the guys who are always there buying lap dances and generally treating the stippers like pieces of meat night after night, and people who go there socially with a group of friends? Or is it a general condemnation of any male who walks through the door?
usually the regulars are the ones who treat the women the best, and the women compete fiercely for the attention of the regualrs. it is the men who go once or once in a while with a group of drunk buddies who try to show off by treating the girls like shit that the women really hate.
it is not getting treated like meat that is the problem here, it is being yelled at, called names, groped and pinched that is the problem. the women understand the flesh component of it and work that as bes tthey can. that is their job. but it is not their job to get harrassed and insulted.
Isn't it the bouncers job to prevent that sort of behavior though? Obviously nobody should have to put up with that kind of treatment. I will say that from my limited strip club experience, i've never seen anything of that nature happen. Everybody in the club was generally well behaved....maybe that's just Montreal, the french are known for their politeness
my sister did not research other countries, just US strip clubs. but i tend to think that canadians are more civilized.
in terms of the bouncers, their jobs are to protect the girls, not to police them. so they will throw you out if the girls comlpain about your actions, or if you are really obnoxious, but not if the girls choose to break the rules during a couch dance.
also, you said:
Quote:
But the customers ARE the job. Without them she would be taking her clothes off for bouncers, bartenders and a mirror. Without them she has no job, so if she has a problem with them she has a problem with the job.
there would not be a job like that if it were not for men's sexual appetites. it is supply and demand.
_________________ cirlces they grow and they swallow people whole half their lives they say goodnight to wives they'll never know got a mind full of questions and a teacher in my soul and so it goes
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 3:09 pm Posts: 10839 Location: metro west, mass Gender: Male
A former roommate of mine, who's 26 now, works security in the financial district. He gets paid about 33k, and he has no problem with the job. This is mostly because it's easy money.
The thing is, is this the type of job you want to put on your resume? All you really do is sit there and surf the net all day. It requires no skill whatsoever, and there's no contribution towards career progression. These are the types of jobs that one should NOT be proud of working. I don't see how stripping is any different.
-Sunny
_________________ "There are two ways to enslave and conquer a nation. One is by the sword. The other is by debt." -John Adams
well, being called names? big whoop, no different than fans yelling at barry bonds or TO. you pay money to see something, and if you dont like it, you can voice your opinion
both cases, they are entertainers
they don't look at it that way. i don't really know why. but i think the intimacy of the entertainment make shte situationmore volitile. and really, why would you verbally abuse a stripper? why is the point? why not go look at a girl who you do find attractive?
and if you are not careful, those 6 inch spike heels become their best weapon.
_________________ cirlces they grow and they swallow people whole half their lives they say goodnight to wives they'll never know got a mind full of questions and a teacher in my soul and so it goes
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 4:56 pm Posts: 19957 Location: Jenny Lewis' funbags
kiddo wrote:
MF wrote:
Isn't it the bouncers job to prevent that sort of behavior though? Obviously nobody should have to put up with that kind of treatment. I will say that from my limited strip club experience, i've never seen anything of that nature happen. Everybody in the club was generally well behaved....maybe that's just Montreal, the french are known for their politeness
my sister did not research other countries, just US strip clubs. but i tend to think that canadians are more civilized.
in terms of the bouncers, their jobs are to protect the girls, not to police them. so they will throw you out if the girls comlpain about your actions, or if you are really obnoxious, but not if the girls choose to break the rules during a couch dance.
That's exactly my point. So if the bouncer is doing his job, then the girl should have nothing to complain about behaviour-wise. It is the bouncers job to eject people for yelling at, grabbing or otherwise harassing the stippers, so if that sort of thing is happening then the bouncer isn't doing his job. I wasn't really talking about policing the girl's personal "behind closed doors" policy.
kiddo wrote:
Quote:
But the customers ARE the job. Without them she would be taking her clothes off for bouncers, bartenders and a mirror. Without them she has no job, so if she has a problem with them she has a problem with the job.
there would not be a job like that if it were not for men's sexual appetites. it is supply and demand.
Again, that's exactly what i was saying. I'm not sure if you're trying to make a counterpoint or agreeing with me. But basically she's complaining about the very thing that is keeping her bank account full? Like i said, if she doesn't like the job there are other things she can do that don't require her to take her clothes off. Obviously she has chosen THIS job because it allows her to make more money than say, working at McDonalds.
Isn't it the bouncers job to prevent that sort of behavior though? Obviously nobody should have to put up with that kind of treatment. I will say that from my limited strip club experience, i've never seen anything of that nature happen. Everybody in the club was generally well behaved....maybe that's just Montreal, the french are known for their politeness
my sister did not research other countries, just US strip clubs. but i tend to think that canadians are more civilized.
in terms of the bouncers, their jobs are to protect the girls, not to police them. so they will throw you out if the girls comlpain about your actions, or if you are really obnoxious, but not if the girls choose to break the rules during a couch dance.
That's exactly my point. So if the bouncer is doing his job, then the girl should have nothing to complain about behaviour-wise. It is the bouncers job to eject people for yelling at, grabbing or otherwise harassing the stippers, so if that sort of thing is happening then the bouncer isn't doing his job. I wasn't really talking about policing the girl's personal "behind closed doors" policy.
buy the time the dancer has alerted the bouncer, the incident has already happened. the bouncers do not watch the dancers during their couch dances and lap dances. as a customer, would you want a big burly guy watching you get a lap dance?
Quote:
kiddo wrote:
Quote:
But the customers ARE the job. Without them she would be taking her clothes off for bouncers, bartenders and a mirror. Without them she has no job, so if she has a problem with them she has a problem with the job.
there would not be a job like that if it were not for men's sexual appetites. it is supply and demand.
Again, that's exactly what i was saying. I'm not sure if you're trying to make a counterpoint or agreeing with me. But basically she's complaining about the very thing that is keeping her bank account full? Like i said, if she doesn't like the job there are other things she can do that don't require her to take her clothes off. Obviously she has chosen THIS job because it allows her to make more money than say, working at McDonalds.
the money gets addictive. i know that is no excuse, but that is what they say. it is difficult to go from making $200/night to making $200/week.
_________________ cirlces they grow and they swallow people whole half their lives they say goodnight to wives they'll never know got a mind full of questions and a teacher in my soul and so it goes
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