The 25 Dumbest Quotes of 2004
By Daniel Kurtzman, AlterNet
Posted on December 30, 2004, Printed on December 31, 2004
http://www.alternet.org/story/20852/ 25. "This is the best election night in history." -Democratic National Committee Chairman Terry McAuliffe, Nov. 2, 2004, just before 8 p.m. EST
24. "This race is hotter than a Times Square Rolex." -CBS Anchor Dan Rather, on election night
23. "As you know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time." -Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, responding to a U.S. soldier serving in Iraq who asked him why troops had to dig through scrap metal to armor vehicles
22. "I heard there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft." -President George W. Bush, during the second presidential debate
21. "You've done a nice job decorating the White House." -Pop star Jessica Simpson, upon being introduced to Interior Secretary Gale Norton while touring the White House
20. "Go fuck yourself." -Vice President Dick Cheney to Sen. Patrick Leahy, during an angry exchange on the Senate floor about profiteering by Halliburton
19. "I even accept for the sake of argument that sexual orgies eliminate social tensions and ought to be encouraged." -Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, speaking at Harvard
18. "You forgot Poland." -President Bush to Sen. John Kerry during the first presidential debate, after Kerry failed to mention Poland's contributions to the Iraq war coalition
17. "I wish we lived in the day where you could challenge a person to a duel." -Sen. Zell Miller to Chris Matthews, during a heated interview on "Hardball"
16. "We are in a three-way split decision for third place." -Sen. Joe Lieberman, on his fifth place finish in the New Hampshire primary
15. "If I could only go through the ducts and leap out onstage in a cape – that's my dream." -Ralph Nader, on the presidential debates
14. "You bet we might have." -Sen. Kerry, asked if he would have gone to war against Saddam Hussein if he refused to disarm
13. "Gammie, we love you dearly, but you're just not very hip. She thinks 'Sex and the City' is something married people do, but never talk about." -Jenna Bush, speaking at the Republican convention
12. "All of a sudden, we see riots, we see protests, we see people clashing. The next thing we know, there is injured or there is dead people. We don't want to get to that extent." -California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, on the dangers posed by gay marriage
11. "I couldn't get a job with CIA today. I am not qualified." -CIA Director Porter Goss, in a March 3, 2004 interview that was conducted while he was still in Congress and which was cut from "Fahrenheit 9/11"
10. "I wish you'd have given me this written question ahead of time so I could plan for it...I'm sure something will pop into my head here in the midst of this press conference, with all the pressure of trying to come up with answer, but it hadn't yet...I don't want to sound like I have made no mistakes. I'm confident I have. I just haven't – you just put me under the spot here, and maybe I'm not as quick on my feet as I should be in coming up with one." -President Bush, after being asked in a news conference to name the biggest mistake he had made
9. "Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be somewhere!" -President Bush, joking about his administration's failure to find WMDs in Iraq as he narrated a comic slideshow during the Radio & TV Correspondents' Association dinner
8. "So anyway I'd be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples really hard, kinda' kissing your neck from behind...and then I would take the other hand with the falafel thing and I'd just put it on your p – -y but you'd have to do it really light, just kind of a tease business..." ˜-Fox News Channel's Bill O'Reilly, as quoted in a sexual harassment suit filed against him by a Fox News producer
7. "Wolf, be excited. This is Joementum here in New Hampshire." -Sen. Joe Lieberman to Wolf Blitzer, on his momentum leading up to the New Hampshire Primary
6. "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." -President Bush
5. "I actually did vote for the $87 billion, before I voted against it." -Sen. Kerry, on voting against a military funding bill for U.S. troops in Iraq
4. "Go, balloons. Go, balloons. Go, balloons ... What's happening balloons? There's not enough coming down. All balloons! Why the hell is nothing falling? What the fuck are you guys doing up there?" -Democratic Convention producer Don Mischer, overheard on CNN having an apoplectic seizure when the balloons failed to drop from the ceiling of the Fleet Center in Boston
3. "As I was telling my husb-" -National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice, overheard making a slip of the tongue at a Washington dinner party. Rice, who is unmarried, stopping herself abruptly, before saying, "As I was telling President Bush."
2. "Not only are we going to New Hampshire ... we're going to South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico, and we're going to California and Texas and New York! And we're going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan. And then we're going to Washington, D.C. to take back the White House, Yeeeeeaaaaaargh!" -Presidential candidate Howard Dean's Iowa concession speech
1. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." -President Bush
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 10:46 pm Posts: 9617 Location: Medford, Oregon Gender: Male
Betterman0986 wrote:
3. "As I was telling my husb-" -National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice, overheard making a slip of the tongue at a Washington dinner party. Rice, who is unmarried, stopping herself abruptly, before saying, "As I was telling President Bush."
That's great! I hadn't heard that one.
_________________ Deep below the dunes I roved Past the rows, past the rows Beside the acacias freshly in bloom I sent men to their doom
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 1:14 am Posts: 37778 Location: OmaGOD!!! Gender: Male
3. "As I was telling my husb-" -National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice, overheard making a slip of the tongue at a Washington dinner party. Rice, who is unmarried, stopping herself abruptly, before saying, "As I was telling President Bush."
--PunkDavid
_________________ Unfortunately, at the Dawning of the Age of Aquarius, the Flower Children jerked off and went back to sleep.
15. "If I could only go through the ducts and leap out onstage in a cape – that's my dream." -Ralph Nader, on the presidential debates
14. "You bet we might have." -Sen. Kerry, asked if he would have gone to war against Saddam Hussein if he refused to disarm
If that's the 'dumbest' thing said by Ralph Nader all year... and when you compare that to the absolutely assinine statement made by John Kerry... I think little things like this do a lot to explain why my politics are the way they are.
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 1:14 am Posts: 37778 Location: OmaGOD!!! Gender: Male
Kenny wrote:
15. "If I could only go through the ducts and leap out onstage in a cape – that's my dream." -Ralph Nader, on the presidential debates
14. "You bet we might have." -Sen. Kerry, asked if he would have gone to war against Saddam Hussein if he refused to disarm
If that's the 'dumbest' thing said by Ralph Nader all year... and when you compare that to the absolutely assinine statement made by John Kerry... I think little things like this do a lot to explain why my politics are the way they are.
I was thinking the same thing.
--PunkDavid
_________________ Unfortunately, at the Dawning of the Age of Aquarius, the Flower Children jerked off and went back to sleep.
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 4:56 pm Posts: 19957 Location: Jenny Lewis' funbags
Betterman0986 wrote:
22. "I heard there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft." -President George W. Bush, during the second presidential debate
21. "You've done a nice job decorating the White House." -Pop star Jessica Simpson, upon being introduced to Interior Secretary Gale Norton while touring the White House
19. "I even accept for the sake of argument that sexual orgies eliminate social tensions and ought to be encouraged." -Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, speaking at Harvard
17. "I wish we lived in the day where you could challenge a person to a duel." -Sen. Zell Miller to Chris Matthews, during a heated interview on "Hardball"
15. "If I could only go through the ducts and leap out onstage in a cape – that's my dream." -Ralph Nader, on the presidential debates
12. "All of a sudden, we see riots, we see protests, we see people clashing. The next thing we know, there is injured or there is dead people. We don't want to get to that extent." -California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, on the dangers posed by gay marriage
8. "So anyway I'd be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples really hard, kinda' kissing your neck from behind...and then I would take the other hand with the falafel thing and I'd just put it on your p – -y but you'd have to do it really light, just kind of a tease business..." ˜-Fox News Channel's Bill O'Reilly, as quoted in a sexual harassment suit filed against him by a Fox News producer
1. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." -President Bush
wow jessica simpson is a fucking retard. im sure they could have had the 25 dumbest quotes from HER.
and number 8 just turns me on...though i am confused about the falafel thing? was that supposed to be a racist comment???
Joined: Wed Dec 29, 2004 9:36 pm Posts: 833 Location: Detroit, MI
Quote:
1. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." -President Bush
follow with...
Quote:
...and just to prove he wasn't weak, this morning the President nuked Maine.
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 10:52 pm Posts: 1727 Location: Earth Gender: Male
LittleWing wrote:
I'm laughing my ass off...at all of them.
Too bad Kerry's OG-BYN quote wasn't right next to the internets quote.
?
6. "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." -President Bush
_________________ "The smart way to keep people passive and obedient is to strictly limit the spectrum of acceptable opinion, but allow very lively debate within that spectrum." -Noam Chomsky
During the second debate (I think), Kerry had a slip up similar to Bush's "internets" thing. It was in discussion about Obstetrics and Gynecology. Kerry said OG-BYN, however, unlike Bush's internet's slip up, nobody seemed to care. I, however, found both hilarious.
During the second debate (I think), Kerry had a slip up similar to Bush's "internets" thing. It was in discussion about Obstetrics and Gynecology. Kerry said OG-BYN, however, unlike Bush's internet's slip up, nobody seemed to care. I, however, found both hilarious.
I don't see what's so funny. Ogstetrics and Bynecology is a very serious practice.
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 11:17 pm Posts: 13551 Location: is a jerk in wyoming Gender: Female
McParadigm wrote:
LittleWing wrote:
During the second debate (I think), Kerry had a slip up similar to Bush's "internets" thing. It was in discussion about Obstetrics and Gynecology. Kerry said OG-BYN, however, unlike Bush's internet's slip up, nobody seemed to care. I, however, found both hilarious.
I don't see what's so funny. Ogstetrics and Bynecology is a very serious practice.
Joined: Wed Dec 29, 2004 9:36 pm Posts: 833 Location: Detroit, MI
LittleWing wrote:
During the second debate (I think), Kerry had a slip up similar to Bush's "internets" thing. It was in discussion about Obstetrics and Gynecology. Kerry said OG-BYN, however, unlike Bush's internet's slip up, nobody seemed to care. I, however, found both hilarious.
Well when you talk like you have some sort of intellect, a slip up is a slip up. When you talk like Bush a slip up is normal conversation, so a slip up for him heads toward comedy gold for the rest of us... for both of our internets.
8. "So anyway I'd be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples really hard, kinda' kissing your neck from behind...and then I would take the other hand with the falafel thing and I'd just put it on your p – -y but you'd have to do it really light, just kind of a tease business..." ˜-Fox News Channel's Bill O'Reilly, as quoted in a sexual harassment suit filed against him by a Fox News producer
Joined: Wed Dec 29, 2004 9:36 pm Posts: 833 Location: Detroit, MI
zeb wrote:
Betterman0986 wrote:
8. "So anyway I'd be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples really hard, kinda' kissing your neck from behind...and then I would take the other hand with the falafel thing and I'd just put it on your p – -y but you'd have to do it really light, just kind of a tease business..." ˜-Fox News Channel's Bill O'Reilly, as quoted in a sexual harassment suit filed against him by a Fox News producer
WTF?
Can someone please elaborate?
j.
Darling of the conservative media, Fox News Channel's Bill O'Reilly, had a sexual harassment lawsuit brought against him by a former producer of his show, The O'Reilly Factor. Bill would call the woman at night, trying to have phone sex with her. Apparently she recorded the conversations, and apparently this is what they said.
Bill would call the woman at night, trying to have phone sex with her. Apparently she recorded the conversations, and apparently this is what they said. He quickly settled within a week for $5m.
Prior to learing this I found O'Reilly a laughable ass.
Now I consider O'Reilly a laughable ass x 1000. What a goose.
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