Please listen to it (with decent headphones if possible) and tell me what you think. And please, don't criticize it openly, I wouldn't be able to handle that. Just kidding. Here we go.

http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/11/3/ ... 0angel.mp3

Good job, buddy.

The music gives off a 'post rock' sound, in the way that solos and extensive melody exists without being flashy. I'm not exactly sure what 'post rock' means but I've seen it used to describe 'explosions in the sky''s sound. You do well at keeping it minimal 'and' interesting.

I got chills once or twice because I could really feel the emotion through the vocals; it's blatant you 'mean' it.

thank you very much.

and in case you wondered, gimme this weekend and the first results of luck and karma might be listenable.

wow, just wow.

really good Raziel. I absolutely love this song. Do you play all instruments on this song? Superimpressed with the guitarwork, and the vocals are tremendeous.

would you mind sharing the lyrics? i'd love to read them going along with your singing.

thank you very much... really glad that you like it... yeah, everything you hear there is me... wow I'm glad you think the vocals are good, I don't consider myself the best singer, I always try my best though... and yeah, even though it's not the most technical guitar stuff it really means a lot to me... okay, the lyrics, let me get them together...


In an angel


In a drug, in an angel I'll be finding myself
And I'll wait, and forget, and awake as someone else
And I'll stare and I'll cry for all the years I've lost
And I'll blame, and I'll stare, and I'll cry and get lost
And the ones that I meet are the ones I have know
But I was taught to forget, so there's no regret when they're dead
And I'll blame, and I'll doubt, but I won't be left out
In my dreams I'll be drowning as underwater I shout

And I'll scream by the time I'm asleep
And we'll meet in my cage and together we'll weep
And I long to stay out of your range
Since your desirous touch will just get me a-stranged

And I'll care to extract your face though I'm scared
Of the thoughts I can read in your oh so bleeding stare
And I'll share time with you when together we cry
And even more of my time when together we die

And I'll hope by the time I'm asleep we will
Break my cage and together we'll weep
And I'll fear to stay out of your range
Since your desirous touch has just gotten me changed...

That's really good work.

I'm certainly impressed. I'm liking it, those lyrics are good too.

great job man. Can't wait to hear what you do in the contest.

didnt do it for me, and the intro seemed really disjointed and not needed


the singing seemed really confident though

Not bad at all. I wish I had even a smidget of your talent. It is kind of a cross between Interpol and Morrisey. Keep up the good work, I see potential in your songwriting.

Stefan, why aren't you in a fucking band by now? Seriously, you have the talent. If you can write and perform something like this you should be doing it all the time.

The delay on that guitar track in the beginning kind of muddies it up. Maybe make it a little lighter.
but the acoustic goes well with the fuzz. nice balance. no bass in the song? what did you record with? it'd be cool to hear what you could do with some feedback in the solo.

i love this song. couldn't listen to the new version (no phones and the link expired). but i listened to it in my head. it's really amazing.

Holy sweet shit. I love it. The only thing I've heard anyone on these forums do that's hit me so hard is Bookshelf's version of Release, and this is your own, so, well, wow. Just wow. A couple of things from a technical point of view (before I put them down I want to point out this isn't criticism of what you've done, just some tips I can think of, I appreciate that you're working on your own and this is recorded on a pc rather than in a studio) -

The effect on your guitar works nicely, but it sounds kind of cheap, if you can get a better effect or maybe a pedal (I don't know what you're using setup-wise so I can't offer any real advice) it will greatly increase the tone. I love the way the feedback and delay and lead bookends the song, and the acoustic guitar sounds absolutely top notch, so with just a little work on the tone on the guitar it will sound absolutely fantastic.

If you can, get a drummer in. It's good a good beat, but a drummer will take the song to the next level.

I LOVE your vocals. Very confident, but also pained, one of the things that works so well for Ed.

The solo is very impressive, but I think it might be too loud in the mix; on some parts, especially bends, it stands out a lot over the rest of the song while other times it fades into the background. It meshes nicely for the most part, but in one or two instances it's quite noticeable on the bends, and considering how well the song gives a great atmosphere it jars slightly, and you get some feedback caused by too much volume.

I can't think of much else to say. I'm seriously, seriously impressed. If you can get into the studio with a good engineer and a decent drummer you could go so far. I wish I'd heard your stuff before. The chorus is still in my head. Absolutely fucking brilliant. I'm going to stop before I run out of superlatives.

i really don't understand all this "bloody fuckign amazing business".

anyways I listened again like i said the vocals sound nice and confident. I think the solo really doesn't work and sounds out of place and bogs the song down overall. like it trys to be too many things, can either be this or that but not both, i dunno how to explain

i mean you're obviously a good guitar player, probly better than me. but with the solo it feels like your going for this cool feeling and some atmosphere and feedback, yet theres these boringly wanky scale parts thrown in there too, which i found both boring and wanky.

Everyone, thanks a lot for the comments, this song is really special for me since it marked a turn in my attempts at songwriting when I wrote/ recorded it. I know that it is still not perfect... there are things that could get some improvement, as there always are, but I decided to not spend any more time with that song this time around...

SFP... the muddying up is very much done on purpose... but it's probably hard to listen to when it's not your own song... guess I didn't really get the point of the intro across, which is something I have to work on I guess... maybe make it shorter... and there is a bass in the song, it is just not a very typical bass sound as it is a very fuzzy bass with some tremolo in it... I recorded with cool edit pro... and yeah, more feedback would have been nice.... it's just that more feedback would only have been possible with a different sound, and I went for the sound option here...

stu... the effect and the whole guitar sounds cheap because the guitar just IS fucking cheap... it sounds muddy in the lows and thin in the highs... what you hear is pretty much the best I could get out of that guitar... plus I think my multieffect pedal is getting a bit old... but well...
the drumming thing is a whole different story... you know I'd LOVE to have some really nice drums recorded for this... only problem is that I have absolutely no technical possibility to record drums... you know I played drums for other bands, and I have lots of ideas for this song (although I also like how the basic feel to the drums flows with the rather simplistic rhythm guitar) but I just can't record drums... I tried to record them with an mp3 but it just sounds like... well... like drums recorded by an mp3...
but anyway... thanks a whole lot for your comment, it was a good thing to come back to...

corky... thank you for your comment on the vocals, and for your comment overall... just what makes you feel that the solo is wanky? you know it's not like I attempted this like, "Yeah, what can I throw in there? Ah yeah, some scale shit to make it sound like I'm a true guitar hero"
you know it's all a matter of... letting go... I might be the only one, and it might be a very cocky thing to say, but... this song really takes me somewhere else... playing it, just going there, closing my eyes, seeing all these images in front of me, having a wave of pictures and emotions just wash away my mind is pretty much what the guitar in the song is the result of... I don't know... what's wrong about wanking anway...

dea... if you have any chance to, please listen to this version of the song... actually I thought a lot about... you know, everything, and every thing, while trying to rerecord it... you opinion, or what you feel about it, is more than to be described with the word "important"...

alright... thanks to everyone for listening to it... for giving that song a chance... it really makes me feel that it was a good choice to not quitting to record altogether...

ok. i just need another link (like "yousendit", other kinds of links i can't access).

oh okay sorry.

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?a ... 097cf0b8c6

oh, i remember the man of many "sorries"... (or the man of constant sorrow?)

just listened to the new version. it has the same feeling of the one that i have. it's still true, and the truth still shows through. i never cared about the programmed drums, and i still don't. it still "bothers" me because of its weirdness, it's not a song to listen lying on the couch, i mean it in a good way, because it's exactly the weird feeling in the vocals, the little "dirt" in the distortion of the guitar, that makes it attractive (well, to me, anyway). it still amazes me that you are a 20 year-old singing, and not an older man who has lived through a lot of shit to carry that "punkish" emotional load in your voice. and the lyrics... they sound more like i have written them every time i listen to them. or at least they seem to oddly apply to me... whatever. for i can talk about "the years that i've lost". i master in weeping in a cage. "And I'll care to extract your face though I'm scared of the thoughts I can read in your oh so bleeding stare"... those lines punch me in the chest every time.

just remembering the song the other day got me inspired. these are verses for a song in the process of being born:

"a late tide brings me crumbs of a song
i think of you as i sing along
my memory tells me what i know that is true
you're still my favorite shade of blue"

dea, that's beautiful... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
I haven't read anything of you in a too long time... four lines resembling so much... it's a small tide, but it carries a precious load to the shore... I'll be have my eyes directed towards the coast...

tks and for making it your sig... hope you enjoyed the full version.