http://www.myspace.com/jontreemusic (I just uploaded it, it may be a little while 'til it's processed, maybe not)

I just wrote this and recorded it without having memorized the lyrics so it's rough around the edges... anyway... whatever... let me know what you think damn it

(verse 1)
what do you do?
it seems an endless chute into
whatever you'll say
to convince yourself to get out of your own way

(pre-chorus)
you're held down, still
you wanna run and hide
but there's no will
to let go of all the weight to which you abide

(pre-verse to v2)
you wanna run and hide

(verse 2)
what is it like
with all that's trying to get out from inside?
when you hold still
are you still dreamin' bout your precious pill(s)?
why do you fake
when what's goodq just wants to love and relate?
you may see the light
if you'd convince yourself to reach up for what's right

(pre-chorus)
you're held down, still
you wanna run and hide
but there's no will
to let go of all the weight to which you abide

(chorus x2)
you're so lost on this road
and you know who told you so!
you found out where it ends
it's where it begins

(post-chorus x2 high then once low)
you wanna run and hide

Since MySpace doesn't seem to want to process it, here's a link for download

http://www.trashtreasury.com/forums/att ... 1174188367

not bad... the verses don't seem too clear in terms of phrasing on some of the lines, but i really like the chorus... you its erie how you occasionally sound like elliott smith... the end is awesome.

i think this ones better than the one on your myspace... i'm gonna give you the add

yes the whole thing vocally is very sloppy, i know
i'm going to re-record it soon, maybe tonight if i can get it right

thanks for the comment

oddly enough, this one i was able to listen to (go figure, computer things...).

funny, when i first read the lyrics, it "sounded" pretty punkish to me, like faster and kinda "ferocious". i liked it very much. when i finally listened to the music, it totally changed to me, i love it, because it's so fucking weird, the way the words stumble in the melody. i like the contrast between the apparently "harmless" music and the crudity of the lyrics.

sorry that this is becoming boring, i mean, me always saying that i love your stuff.

Thanks so much for the in depth comments, dea. It doesn't bore me a bit, it's what I hope for when posting stuff here.

By the way, I re-recorded this song, I think it's much better now. It's up on myspace.