How much attention do you pay to album reviews? Do you hold any particular critics in high esteem?

I was just thinking about this the other day. Truthfully, I tend to research the kind of critical reception an album is getting before I decide to download it, and especially before I buy it. If a record is getting an overwhelming amount of praise and it doesn't belong to a genre that I intentionally stay away from, I'll probably look into it. On the flip side, if all of teh critics are saying it sucks, I doubt I'll give it a chance unless I'm a die-hard fan of the artist. I like well-written reviews that can make interesting comparisons and give a good idea of what the music sounds like and what kind of audience would appreciate it.

A lot of people say, "I don't give a shit what critics think and reviews are just some dude's opinion." Well...obviously. But I wonder how these people find out about new music. If your buddy says, "Hey, this is a good album. I think you'd like it, they sound like so-and-so," are you going to turn to him and say, "I don't give a shit what you think, that's just your opinion"?

If Rolling Stone loves it, it's probably really awful.

it depends on who the reviewer is and what they actually say...

if some douche from pitchfork writes a bunch of words that have nothing to do with the album and are just meant to show off what a "good writer" he is, i'll most likely ignore it.

if the reviewer is from pitchfork and he has given high marks to records i have liked in the past, i may put a little more stock into what he has to say.

if psychobain is the reviewer and he says he loves it, i will most likely check it out.

if mowbs is the reviewer and he says it's dope, i may or may not check it out.

i don't read reviews at all, with the exception of the guys who write in Singer Songwriter.

I loathe a few of their reviewers.

I don't have a problem with critics, its a free society, everyone is entitled to their opinion and be paid for it. Then again, I'm not a musician either.

Critics used to be there to tell you how much value you would get out of spending your money on an album nowadays,you can download anything you want and review it yourself.

You just have to consider the source. Certain records are going to get good or bad reviews just by the nature of the publication. Rolling Stone is going to review something very differently than AllMusic, for example.

I just like reading informed opinions -- good or bad.

Autobahn [Vertigo, 1975]
The Iron Butterfly of überrock--Mike Oldfield for unmitigated simpletons, sort of, and yet in my mitigated way I don't entirely disapprove. A melody or two worth hearing twice emanates from a machine determined to rule all music with a steel hand and some mylar, and the title track is longer than "In-a-Gadda-da-Vida" sans drum solo, with a lyric (trot provided) that could become the "What's Life? A magazine" of high school German classes all over America. B-

Trans-Europe Express [Capitol, 1977]
No, I have not shorted out or fallen in love with a cyborg. No, I do not like Kraftwerk's previous craft-work, Radio-Activity, which consists mostly of bleeps. But this shares with Autobahn a simple-minded air of mock-serious fascination with melody and repetition. Plus its textural effects sound like parodies by some cosmic schoolboy of every lush synthesizer surge that's ever stuck in your gullet--yet also work the way those surges are supposed to work. Plus the cover and sleeve photos are suitable for framing. A-

The Man-Machine [Capitol, 1978]
Only a curmudgeon could reject a group that synthesizes the innovations of Environments and David Seville & the Chipmunks, not to mention that it's better make-out (and dance) music. B+

Computer World [Warner Bros., 1981]
I once convinced myself to enjoy this band--if there had to be synthesizer rock, I thought, better it should be candidly dinky. And this is their funniest to date--every time I hear that machine intone "I program my home computer/Bring myself into the future," I want to make a tape for all those zealots who claim a word processor will change my life. But fun plus dinky doesn't make funky no matter who's dancing to what program. Funk has blood in it. B

The Mix [Elektra, 1991]
best-of with the bass boosted--very funktional, meine Herren ("Pocket Calculator," "The Robots") ***

If Zeb is raving about an album, it's probably worth checking out. I've read some good reviews on Relix before too, they had an awesome feature on Les Claypool last year that got me to check out a lot of the post-Primus stuff, which I may like even more.

I was going to say something but king beat me to it

Critics are English majors who are decent musicians, but can't write anything musical that anybody else could care about, or never had the balls to really dedicate themselves to becoming professional musicians and risk losing all of the comforts of college life and health insurance. I guarantee that there aren't any music critics who "pulled themselves out of poverty by their bootstraps". They all had their parents pay for their college education and probably their first apartment after college too.

So they end up bitter that they are as talented many hack musicians who end up on the covers of magazines and with major label record deals playing to thousands of people a night and making nice money and fucking nicer chicks. But since they are now too old and comfortable to go back and actually start a band and a music career, they channel their jealousy, vitriol, and talent with the English language into a snide and cynical career as a "critic" of music.

The only critic I consistently trust is David Fricke. I really enjoy reading old Lester Bangs reviews; I'd love to see some of the shit he would write about rock music if he were still around today.

so, ad hominem, critics opinions are invalid, eh PD?

ad hominem?

They're just no more valid than anyone else's. We all have assholes, as they say.

then why are their assholes published?

(I guess I am saying not all assholes are created equal)

Christgau is always a fascinating read, you've got to admit.

Because they're talented writers. It's not necessarily because they know what they're writing about.

Some of these people do have a pretty good idea what they're talking about, though. To a point it can be an exercise on the reader's behalf to sift through the crap. It is pretty easy to identify a hack,

Would you guys read my reviews?

I don't know any big words.