Wrote these in Ethics class yesterday...feedback is appreciated.

Fog of Yesterday

Tonight begins with a nicotine flame
Two glasses, one empty, and a bottle of champagne
It'd be a shame if I said I didn't trace your form in my mind
Consider me shameful
And I'd be lying if I said I didn't love my own reflection
Tainted by the brown of your eyes.
Consider me a liar.
Kissed me once to see if we'd connect
Left a scar on my lips
And how I love this defect
Consider me nostalgic.
I'd love to hate you
But I fear I'd misplace it
Consider my words wasted.
Recall the night I felt her deeply
Apologized on behalf of Life
For making her so empty
Consider my life poetic
Consider my poem pathetic.
Tomorrow begins with a wine flavored breath
Mimic your motions as you grabbed your coat and left
Off to forever follow the trace of your cologne
Will say "I love you" until I choke
Consider me lost
Consider me torn
Consider me the fog of yesterday
Consider me yours...

Does it make you happy to know that I must have you or I'd die?
Did you know I'd prefer the latter?
_______________________________________

Chapter One

Met you at a bus stop somewhere in London
Tried to make polite conversation
Asked where you came from
Said you prefer not to look back
Asked who you were leaving behind
And you just laughed.
Curtains of hazy water
Draped all around
Counted the ricochets from the pebbled ground
"One for every one night stand.
And one for every kiss that tasted second-hand."
Funny how those taste the sweetest.

I began writing the story of our love. Please enjoy the select omissions.

You've gotta be shitting me; not a single reply?

this is not a very popular forum.

i actually like Fog Of Yesterday quite a lot.

thanks man.

Fog of Yesteday is really good, i like it a lot. maybe because it sort of reminds me of stuff that i write... i often mention drinking and yearning, hoping, and in general wanting something unattainable.

the words sound good and flow nicely. i was drawn in from the very first two lines.

You have the coolest screen name on the board....

i just loved it. my feeling while reading was, the images followed the words like an echo and a sense of realization, recollection, understanding. i wonder how the story goes...

Fog of Yesterday

wow, those are some really great lines. especially the follow up of "consider me nostalgic. i'm not crazy for the final stanza, if that is the correct terminology. it certainly adds more emotion, it just seems a tad awkward. actually, fuck it. it works.

Chapter One

That is really tight. I don't think there was a line a didn't enjoy. How is the rest coming?

again, let me say that i love fog of yesterday. i wish i had written it, and like i said, it seems like it was written from my perspective, like you saw the world through my eyes for a minute and while it was still fresh in your mind you put words to paper. i posted the thing i wrote that this reminded me of in release a minute ago, its called 'to tomorrow!'


keep em coming!

We had the best time at your party. The wife and I thank you very much.

These are outstanding. Thank you for giving the bump or I would not have had an opportunity to read them.

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