Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:52 pm Posts: 10620 Location: Chicago, IL Gender: Male
I used to hate him, but then grew to like him after hearing his ramblings on Mike & Mike on ESPN radio. The guy is not afraid to say what's on his mind, despite risking offending the masses, and doesn't sugarcoat things like some announcers by constantly make excuses for the sorry state of the game.
Dan Dierdorf (Dan, you know I love ya as a Michigan grad, but you're a terrible announcer) was the worst on Monday Night Football. We used to call him Mr. Obvious because he felt the need to over-analyze and explain everything. I'll never forget when the Giants went for it on 4th and one and he says, "It's 4th and one -- one yard will get the first, unless he gets stopped short." Thanks for the tremendous insight Dan.
The worst announcer in all of sports, however, is Dick Vitale. The guy doesn't even analyze . . . he screams. Every player is a superstar; every other coach is a premier coach; and no other program in America compares to the Dookies. The guy is just flat out annoying.
ESPN Getting Tired of Walton Grateful Dead References
Bristol, CT -- In a confidential memo leaked to the press Tuesday morning, executives at ESPN expressed growing concern about incessant references to legendary counterculture rock band, the Grateful Dead, made by NBA analyst and lifelong "Deadhead," Bill Walton.
If we could all make an effort to help Bill reduce the number of references to Grateful Dead lyrics, concerts he's attended, and past and present band members throughout an average broadcast," the memo said, "it would go a long way toward bringing more viewers to Fridays [ESPN's Friday Night NBA coverage]."
"Seriously, I’m not kidding here," the memo continued, "it’s got to stop. Before we all gouge our own eyes out with sporks."
While the memo is believed to have been sent by ESPN executive vice president of programming/production, Mark Shapiro, anti-Walton-Dead-reference sentiment has been growing company-wide since ESPN began covering NBA games this season.
"If he tells me one more time how he did mescaline with Mama Cass and David Crosby backstage at the Greek Theater, Berkeley, ’71, I’m gong to smack him," said Walton’s broadcast partner, Mike Tirico. "And that’s exactly how he always says it, too: ‘Greek Theater…Berkeley….seventy-one…,’ and then he starts grinning and grooving to some Dead music in his head, going, ‘Yeaaaah, man….yeaaaah’ like a total stoner."
"The guy’s, what, fifty-one?" Tirico added. "Hey Bill, the ‘Summer of Love’ ended thirty-three years ago. Time to move on, pal."
Shapiro’s memo also indicated that Walton’s references to songs, concerts, people and events from more than three decades ago is not helping ESPN’s NBA Friday night ratings.
"We’re targeting a younger demographic," Shapiro’s memo said, "so if you could all please remind Bill that today’s 18- to 24-year-old viewer simply does not care that it’s the 13th anniversary of [Grateful Dead keyboardist] Brent Mydland’s death. They don’t care who Ron ‘Pigen’ McKernan was, and don’t understand why Bill is comparing Pigpen’s leadership abilities in the Dead’s formative Haight-Ashbury years to Jason Kidd’s ability to run the Nets offense."
"No wonder we’re losing Friday viewers to ‘John Doe.’ Why? Because ‘John Doe’ doesn’t have some sad, aging, hippie freakster spewing Robert Hunter lyrics every three seconds."
While ESPN management had been initially lenient with the random Grateful Dead trivia, facts, and anecdotes that Walton began injecting into broadcasts for no apparent reason, insiders believe that it was the recent Bulls-Wizards matchup–which featured Michael Jordan’s last appearance in Chicago–that was the last straw for Shapiro.
Toward the end of the game, Walton managed to shoehorn approximately 168 Grateful Dead mentions into a seemingly endless monologue.
"While these great Chicago fans hope to see Michael ‘One More Saturday Night’ perhaps in the playoffs, he’s beginning to show a ‘Touch of Grey’ in his hair, and while I’ve always believed that Michael must be a ‘Friend of the Devil’ to have had such a wonderful career, and he still plays with the aggression of a ‘Wharf Rat,’ his ‘Unbroken Chain’ of success must come to an end. But his legacy will ‘Not Fade Away’ even as he disappears down the ‘Golden Road.’ For us fans, there’s ‘nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile.’"
Tape of the broadcast then shows a visibly confused Tirico about to open his mouth to speak, but being immediately cut off by the former UCLA, Portland Trailblazers and Boston Celtics star.
"This is horrrrrible, Mike, just horrrrible," Walton nearly screamed. "I fear the NBA will go to ‘Hell in a Bucket’ without Michael, and the ‘Eyes of the World’ will be upon the next generation of NBA superstars, and David Stern is clearly saying ‘I Need a Miracle’ to the Kobes, the Garnetts, the McGradys, even the Lebron Jameses of the world, hoping that MJ’s retirement doesn’t lead to a serious case of the ‘U.S. Blues’ for NBA fans."
Walton then made a tangental reference to Michael’s wife "Althea," and three children–"Bertha," "Casey Jones," and "Tennessee Jed"–all of whom, he claimed, were in the United Center that evening. When Tirico informed Walton that Jordan’s wife is, in fact, named Juanita and his children are Jeffrey, Marcus and Jasmine, Walton paused.
"Hey now, Mike," Walton said, "hey now, Aiko Aiko all day, jockomo feeno na na nay, jockomo feena nay. Hey now––"
It was then that ESPN producers abruptly cut to an emergency broadcast system test pattern, then back to ESPN studio analysts, David Aldridge and Dr. Jack Ramsey.
"Well, I…." Aldridge said, awkwardly shuffling papers and clearing his throat.
"Did Bill just say that Michael Jordan’s son is named ‘Tennessee…Jed,’" Ramsey asked.
While Shapiro is clearly concerned about the effect Walton’s Grateful Dead over-referencing will have on the success of ESPN’s Friday night NBA coverage, he admitted in a later interview that it could be worse.
"At least he’s not mixing in John Wooden stuff, too. I mean, can you imagine if he combined all that Jerry Garcia bullshit with his incessant Wooden motivational quotes? Christ Almighty."
vitale is the worst announcer ever. please stop screaming at me
and his man crush on Coach K is borderline creepy.........
_________________ “You’re good kids, stay together. Trust each other and be good teammates to one another. I believe there is a championship in this room.”
-Ernie Accorsi in his final address to the NY Giants locker room before retiring as GM in January of 2007
both are clowns, but McCarver IMO has a far greater knowledge of baseball than Walton does of basketball.
_________________ “You’re good kids, stay together. Trust each other and be good teammates to one another. I believe there is a championship in this room.”
-Ernie Accorsi in his final address to the NY Giants locker room before retiring as GM in January of 2007
that being said, i have two words for you guys: Joe Carter
and if that doesn't do the trick, three more words: ken 'hawk' harrelson
In hell, those two call all the ballgames
_________________ i was dreaming through the howzlife yawning car black when she told me "mad and meaningless as ever" and a song came on my radio like a cemetery rhyme for a million crying corpses in their tragedy of respectable existence
i love bill walton announcing games. he has a genuine love for the game that you can see ooze off of him. hes not afraid to say if a player is stealin money or not, and his constant bickering is great between him and tolbert
joe buck and kevin harland, with myron cope all being way worse than bill could ever dream of
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 12:36 am Posts: 3556 Location: Twin Ports
Peeps wrote:
i love bill walton announcing games. he has a genuine love for the game that you can see ooze off of him. hes not afraid to say if a player is stealin money or not, and his constant bickering is great between him and tolbert
joe buck and kevin harland, with myron cope all being way worse than bill could ever dream of
Agreed...although I've never heard Cope do a Steelers game but have heard that he has an irritating voice.
_________________ Rising and falling at force ten
We twist the world
And ride the wind
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 11:13 pm Posts: 2948 Location: Caucusland
John "Obvious" Madden, Pat "13th Century Alcoholic" Summerall, and Bill Walton are the worst sports announcers ever. Bill Walton sounds like he's talking with a big ball of cotton in his mouth.
My favorites: the guys on ESPN who can't get through ONE GAME without a positively hilarious and pointless argument amongst themselves, and Harry Caray.
_________________
Bob Knight wrote:
When my time on Earth is gone, and my activities here are passed, I want they bury me upside down so my critics can kiss my ass.
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 1:36 am Posts: 2312 Location: Kitchener & Hamilton Ontario Canada Gender: Male
knuckles of frisco wrote:
jim, this is the best thread you've ever started.
that being said, i have two words for you guys: Joe Carter
and if that doesn't do the trick, three more words: ken 'hawk' harrelson
In hell, those two call all the ballgames
I get some White Sox games on WGN on my satellite and Ken Harrelson is fucking annoying. What is with that "put it on the board yeeeeeeeeeeeeees!!" crap that I hear every the Sox hit a home run. I wanna reach through my tv and strangle him
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