jesus killed my cat
seriously he did
i drank a lot one night and woke up at 8 still drunk
i couldn't bother to go to the bathroom
so I pissed out my bedroom window
i heard my cat meow
it wasn't really a meow, it was more like that fucked up cat speak
you know like when they see a bug on the wall or something
so i crouched down a bit to look out the window - still pissin'
there's jesus holding my cat
my cat looked dead
i stopped pissin' and put ol' henry back in the holster
i bent down and stuck my head out the window
"what's going on?" i asked
"cupcake is going home now" jesus replied
yeah, my cat's name is cupcake - fuck you
"she is home" i shot back
"no my son, cupcake died and now she is going to heaven"
"Heaven... animals don't go to heaven," i replied
"no we changed that a few years ago," jesus informed me
"what the fuck, 'we changed that'... what was it like a union vote or something... what do you mean WE changed that"
cupcake sprang back to life, scratched the shit out of jesus' arm and jumped to the ground
before she could get too far, jesus twitched his finger
her neck snapped and cupcake fell to the ground in a lump
"what the fuck," I yelled out
jesus walked over to cupcake and picked her lifeless body up again
"look," he said. "people are kinda a-holes and I always wanted a cat"
"why cupcake?" i asked "she's really bitchy... even for a cat"
"I was in the neighborhood" jesus replied
by then I really wanted to get back to bed
"OK" I said. "I was gonna take her to the pound anyway"
"sweet" jesus said "I'll catch ya in a few"
"cool" I said.
I watched as he took cupcake into his '67 deville
he stepped in... nelly's "hot in here" started bumpin'... the car dropped...
as he rolled away I notice the vanity plates: DIED4U
when I woke up later - around 4 p.m. - i wondered what he meant by "catch ya in a few"

Hey, this is very good!! A really strong intro and the interaction with the reader

I like that jesus killed cupcake for selfish reasons and suggests a misuse of power


But sincerely dude, the ending rocks

It actually made me wonder if perhaps the devil was imitating Christ, hence the 'hot in here' tunes, perhaps heaven isn't where he expects you to go

this is really weird... and i like weird things

It tastes of Bukowski (or those 50's beat guys at least) to me, and i likes it a lot =o)

Good work man. If you get time i'd really appreciate if you'd read over and/or comment feedback on them...They don't involve cats or jesus (at least not intentionally), but i think you'd like them.

http://forums.theskyiscrape.com/vie ... hp?t=63525

http://forums.theskyiscrape.com/vie ... hp?t=61715

"no we changed that a few years ago," jesus informed me



i like this whole piece a lot. this was my favorite line for some reason. probably because of how casually it is said.

Thanks!