abraham lincoln awoke from his slumber with a huge erection
he broke free of mount rushmore,
stood up and pulled out his 15-foot stone dick
he turned to piss on theodore roosevelt's head
but this wasn't morning wood, abe was horny
he glared at the visitors
“four score and 7 years ago, one of you bitches sucked my cock!” his voice thundered
all the tourists ran
abe started to jerk off
before he got too far, i told him that i might know someone his size who would be interested
“really?” he asked “she's not black is she?”
“no” i replied “why would that matter?”
“just 'cuz i freed 'em, doesn't mean i wanna fuck 'em” he joked
i was not amused and gave him a stern look
then told him to chill for a few days while I set things up
abe had a seat atop the monument, his balls resting on jefferson's nose
“i'll come back in a few days” i told him
“you better,” he said “or i'll teabag you too”
the thought of his stone balls crushing my skull flashed in my mind
“don't worry” i replied “i'll be back”
3 days later, abe and I made our way to new york city
i reminded him that lady liberty was a bit thick under her robe
“that's alright, i like my men... i mean, women, with a little meat on their bones”
i let the slip of the tongue pass and didn't make any eye contact
“so is this like a date?” he asked
“ i don't know” i replied “she said she wasn't looking for anything serious”
i warn him that she was french and probably hadn't showered recently
“it'll make it that much dirtier” he said with a devilish grin
we reached liberty island and they made with the small talk
i left
when i got back an hour later, there was a cum shot the size of the exxon valdez oil spill
“christ that's disgusting” i said “you should clean that up”
“fuck that shit” lincoln replied
“how was it?” i asked
“like fireworks on the fourth of july” abe said with a smile
i looked at lady liberty
“yeah, fireworks” she said rolling her eyes “i came closer to an orgasm when they were scrubbing my robe during the restoration”
with that, abe and i made our exit
before we left, they promised to keep in touch
abe gave her a kiss and slapped her on the ass

the relationship proved to be a turbulent one
things got serious, then went south
lady liberty got knocked up
and there was talk of marriage
but abe's drinking got the best of him
he took a shit on the outfield of yankee stadium during a world series game,
killing jason giambi and several fans in the process
the new york media had a field day
the embarrassment of abe's antics was too much for lady liberty
she decided to have an abortion and they parted ways
abe went into seclusion where he wrote his autobiography
detailing his hatred of mary todd and his many romps with high school boys
he died alone and they replace his face on mount rushmore with that of richard nixon
lady liberty was never the same
she wound up with a vicodin addiction and twice dropped her torch into new york harbor
she always regretted the abortion
but it was probably for the best
the last thing america needs is another unwed, welfare mom

I changed the title of this one and made a few edits. I had "rope" a couple of times when it should have been robe. Damn dyslexia.

this is disgusting...ly good.

Thanks, dea. The truth is, I would have never put this one out for public consumption if I had to put my real name on it. But that's the beauty of the internet, you can throw every idea out there, even the bad ones.

i really like the way your characters interact in your stories. its usually quick and witty, and pulls off a certain amount of tastlessness in a tasteful way.

i like it

15 feet seems kind of small

I don't mean to offend anyone, but can someone explain how this is poetry?

This seems to me to be something a 14 year old would write while bored and goofed up on sugar.

This is not poetry, this is prose. I'm the first one to admit that not all the things I post on here are good. But that's the beauty of the Internet, not one of you knows my real name.

Although I must point out, that not everyone hated this one as it looks like it will be published in one form or another.

Ok that's cool man, if it helps I got a real good picture of Abe's massive cock in my mind.