Epilogue


“EVER AFTER” came with the face of normality. A couple of weeks had passed since everything had changed and Susanna and Leo moved at last in the tenants cottage and did their best to find a way to belong.

Life was not so much different than the one they had lived in the manor. In less than a couple of months it would be summer and Susanna’s main task was to learn everything she could of Lu’s activities so that she could take her place when she became too heavy and sore to work. They would spend afternoons in the greenhouse or with the children in the fruit garden as they did their homework at the gazebo, catching up on their talking and sharing their knowledge as well as remembrances. She was grateful to those evenings she had spent in the living room with her mother, Mrs. Cameron and sometimes Julia, because now she was not behind her sister and sisters-in-law when it came to handcraft.

Leo was in heaven working in the pen and the stable. He would spend hours discussing literature with Sir Bristle as they rode the fields with the sheep, side by side. The library had become a new challenge to him, four walls up to the ceiling with titles as promising as “ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT UNICORNS” or “KNOW YOUR RIGHTS – COMPENDIUM OF TIME TRAVEL LAW” and an ancient and rare copy of “MAN – MITH OR REALITY?” published 1400 years ago in Otherland. Susanna would often join him when he spent late hours with the Professor and Peter smoking scented pipes by the fireplace discussing the political and economical life of Ainnar.

Apart from the simple work at the manor, Peter was a kind of mayor of the village and ambassador of the Crown that currently ruled over the land. He would often travel abroad to reinforce old alliances and invited Leo to join the retinue that would travel to the Far Shores, the home of Emeth’s people in the new world, in about three weeks to come back in twenty days, give or take, plenty of time before Lu’s baby was due.

Ed took the charge of introducing Leo to the art of swordcraft. His years in the streets had made him quite skilled with small blades and he revealed himself a very talented swordsman, quite a natural. Susanna, along with Jill and Finnian, would join them often and take time to practice with the sword and the bow and arrow as well.

Life was good and THEY LIVED HAPPILY.

* * *


“Again, a bheagan?” Leo laughed as Susanna crawled upon his abdomen and pressed her knees against his hips.

“What?” She did not stop kissing his neck moving down to his nipples that spiked at the touch of the tip of her tongue.

He slid his hands down her back grabbing the curve of her buttocks and pulled her up until she kissed his smile.

He groaned kissing her neck in turn.

“What? Did I hurt you?” She looked at him all gleaming eyes and flushing cheeks but did not stop rocking up and down slowly.

“Nay… ‘Tis jus’ tha’ by now ye would be done already. Not tha’ I’m complainin’…” He smiled teasing her.

“Huh?” She frowned and rocked on a tad annoyed with the distraction.

“Yer courses, a bheagan. Ye’re late, aye?” He gave her a slanted look with a twitch in the corner of his mouth.

“A little bit. I was never a clock, you know.” She raised her hips and pushed him inside her.

“Oh a Dhia...” He groaned and shut his eyes joining her in the soft rocking movement.

“’Tis...”

“What, man? Wanna chat or wanna shag?” She bit the tip of his earlobe.

“Ye dirty-mouthed lass…” He reached for her breasts and narrowed his eyes watching as her nipples lay larger and darker in his cupped hands.

“Ow!” She shrieked but did not stop rocking.

“See, ye’re more sensitive than ever…” He caressed her breasts tenderly.

“You mean…” She looked at him at last, panting, rocking on a little slower.

“Ye didna have yer ‘Mr. Hyde’ phase last month…” He laughed.

“Ah! I do not have such a thing!” She punished him biting his nipple.

“Ah, well, yes, ye do!” He rolled over on top of her holding her wrists. She crossed her legs behind his back. They rocked on.

“Ye might be, aye?” He looked at her so tenderly that her face lit with a smile.

“I might.” They kissed tenderly in a half pause while their bodies still struggled for pleasure.

Then he took the lead of their dance to the point where words have no meaning.

* * *


They lay breathless on their back, eyes open at the ceiling, touching each other on the tip of the small finger.

“Ye’re goin’ to kill me, woman.” He squeezed her hand and they laughed.

He rose to one elbow to face her, resting a hand on her belly.

“Guess now I have to make a decent woman ou’ o’ ye.” His eyes sparkled with tears of joy.

* * *


Two days later Leo left with the small group of men to the Far Shores with a solemn oath to come back in one piece and a mind made up to ask Peter for Susanna’s hand in marriage when he returned.

It was with a slight shock that Susanna realized that they had never been apart since they had met almost nine months ago; even when they had been apart in their hearts they could always look at each other no matter how painful it might be.

As Susanna watched the group slowly vanishing behind a cloud of golden dust, she placed her hands on her belly and found comfort in the tiny spot of light she could see growing inside her with her mind’s eye, flickering at the pace of a heartbeat.

* * *


After ten days of light march, Leo had learned his two cents about travelling through The Borders. Peter and Emeth rode by instinct, knowing when to sleep and to wake up through the everlasting day. It was only on the second sleeping pause that he found out that he could rest relatively well if he tied a band of dark cloth on his eyes.

Peter had explained that The Borders spread like a web of canals joining the various independent reigns in that world together.

“Bu’ isna all ‘is Ainnar?” He was a little confused.

“Yes. But there is a larger Ainnar called Ainnar-Lata; inside it there is the place where we live, Ainnar-Stricta. And all of it is actually the inner aspect of Otherland, Ainnar-Interiora, which in turn is the inner aspect of all worlds, even Earth. Like peeling an onion to find that each inner ring is wider than the outer rings.”

Peter smiled as Leo scratched his head. “Do not wear your mind out over this, little brother. Lord Digory has been writing and re-writing a book on the subject for almost twenty years now.”

* * *


The Great Capital of the Far Shores rose like a rough crystal embedded on a huge round plateau of ancient reefs surrounded by a canal of seawater. It was the point where the hot winds come from the northwest through the blazing sands of the Marble of Hell had a daily rendezvous with the cool southeastern breezes blown from the Endless Sea. That’s why the city unravelled itself like a ball of yarn, in narrow winding paths amongst two-storey buildings with curved walls topped by marble balconies, in a maze that led to a central market place where the Governor’s Hall stood up like a minaret with a golden dome.

While Emeth busied himself with the carriers to the market to sell or trade the goods they had brought from the manor, Peter and Leo were welcomed at the Hall and made themselves presentable for the official hearing.

After the introductions carried in the solemn and poetic ways of Emeth’s ancestors, Peter began to address the official matters with the Governor and Leo was free to enjoy the cooling atmosphere of the marble chamber, amazed at the intricate mosaics of the floor where it was not covered by magnificent silk carpets, and the huge embroidered panels that hung from the round walls.

As he stood in the shade of the balcony and breathed in the smell of the sea from the port ahead, mixed with the dusty odour of flaming sand and the poignant scents of spice from the market below, an idea began to take shape in his mind.

* * *


When the hearing was over, Peter and Leo met Emeth at their quarters for the two-day stay.

“There.” Peter tossed a small rattling bag. “I believe you will be needing some local currency.”

As Leo rolled the little bag in his hands flushing with embarrassment, Peter smiled reassuringly.

“Come, man, you’ve earned it. And I wonder you would not like to go back to your fiancée empty handed, right?”

* * *


Later that afternoon, after a delicious and rather welcome meal, Emeth took Leo for a stroll in the market place. While they walked amongst the myriad of kiosks that spread around the central tower, Emeth explained to Leo the values of the cupronickel coins of various sizes he had in the bag. Advising him against pickpockets, Emeth left him alone, gone to fulfil some tasks Lu had put him in charge of.

When evening came as a relief after the time spent at The Borders, they met at the dooryard of the Hall. Emeth was carrying two heavy bags on his shoulders. They laughed at each other as Leo eased him of one of his burdens and they walked inside in silence thinking of their loved ones.

Leo’s package was no burden at all and he tapped the small volume in his inner pocket close to his heart.

* * *


Susanna was strolling at the fruit garden. The day was just a golden glow to the east and she enjoyed the silence of waking nature with a smile on a pale face. She had developed that habit since morning sickness had began with a message of confirmation and joy.

And it was with joy renewed that she heard the stumping of hoofs by the iron gate. Soon the house was alive to welcome the travellers who brought news, goods and gifts as well as arms eager for an embrace.

* * *


It was later that evening that Lu called Susanna to see her at her house where she would spend most of the time now, resting.

“Lu, are you all right?” Susanna stepped in with a shade of worry on her face.

“I’m fine! Come here.” Lu raised a hand and Susanna took it, sitting on the bedside. “I have something for you.” Lu showed her one huge package and two smaller ones wrapped in brown paper. “I had no time to wrap them properly…”

Susanna frowned with a smile and opened the first pack. She opened her mouth when she saw exquisite pieces of fabric, soft to the touch in her hands. One was creamy silk embroidered with tiny pearls; the other was white soft gauze; there was a long knitted mantle of fury cashmere; and last there was a piece of fine butter-coloured lace.

“Lu, what…?”

“For your wedding dress, silly!” Lu was making a funny face.

“Oh, my Goddess, Lu…” Susanna shook her head.

“Come on, open the other one!” Lu wiggled her shoulders with excitement. “No, that one.”

The second package revealed a large piece of the softest linen Susanna had ever touched.

“For the baby’s clothes…” Lu was smiling with tears in her eyes.

“Oh! You know? Of course you, you little witch…” Susanna embraced her sister and they laughed and cried together.

“The other one’s for Leo.” Lu smiled. “That big handsome man deserves a treat too.”

“Oh, Lu… Thank you…” Susanna wiped off the tears.

“You are well? You and Leo, I mean.” Lu was slightly concerned.

“I’m fine. We’re fine.” Susanna’s grin was unmistakable.

“Good! I chose the cashmere in case you decide for a wedding in the evening, you know. But we got married in the morning and it was beautiful!” Lu’s face lit with the memory. “When are you planning to tell?” She asked after a while.

“Soon.”

* * *


The twin moons were halfway though their nightly promenade towards their home beyond the western moors. The double moonlight traced ghostly outlines on the furniture as it came through the bedroom windows, to find the profiles of their naked bodies entwined in the repose of elation.

He kissed her softly in the dozing and rolled out of the bed. He walked to the window and stretched his arms, leaning forward to touch the wooden frame. He wondered that only the vision of the alien sky was able to startle him slightly with the realization that they were eons in time and space away from the place they used to call home. He shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair, loose and dishevelled by her kisses.

He found his coat in the dark, picked the small package in the inner pocket and placed it under his pillow, sliding into bed by her side.

She moaned into awareness and stretched herself cuddling closer to him with a sigh.

“M’eudail…”

“Hmm.” He kissed her hair.

“I missed you so much…” She squeezed him and kissed his chest.

“I missed ye too, mo bheagan.” He squeezed her in turn. “I ‘ave somethin’ for ye.”

“You do?” She leaned up and slowly opened her eyes.

“Hu-huh.” He smiled with anticipation, reached under the pillow and placed the small square pack in her hand.

“Oh… Beautiful wrap!” He smiled that she was genuinely pleased with the silvery wrap tied with a red ribbon as she caressed the pattern of flowery relief.

“Er… ‘Tis inside, a bheagan.” He teased her.

“Really?” She laughed and leaned up to kiss him before carefully pulling the loose ends of the ribbon.

It was a small wooden box with tiny silver hinges and lock and an exquisite mosaic in woodwork in the shape of a mandhala on the lid.

“Oh! This is beautiful!” She rolled the box in her hands lying on her back while he rolled to one side to watch her.

“Inside…” He frowned with a smile.

She smiled back and slowly opened the lid.

“Oh…” She bit her lip to stop tears that had already begun to blur her vision.

It was a delicate cabochon of blue sapphire the colour of dark sea embedded in a large silver band with fine work of lacelike filigree.

“Leo, it’s…” She raised the ring up and wavered it slowly; the ghostly moonshine extracted sparks of silver and various shades of blue from the heart of the gem.

“It’s…” She was touched that he had remembered her favourite stone.

“What? Ye mean ye liked the box and the wrapping better?” He teased her, enjoying her reaction.

Then she noticed there was a fine intaglio inside, written on both rims of the silver band: “ertrinken... versinken... unbewußt... höchste Lust!”

“Ah, m’eudail…” She began to roll to hold him.

“Wait.” He picked the delicate jewel that looked smaller between his big rough fingers and slid it in her ring finger. “There. Now ‘tis beautiful.” He kissed her hand softly.

She clenched her hand as if she were afraid that the ring would slip away somehow and rolled to him at last, sobbing slightly, her head hidden in his chest.

“You needn’t have to.” She whispered.

“I ken.”

* * *


Susanna and Leo got married in a fine autumn morning three months after Lu gave birth to a beautiful girl: Anna Marie, after the grand mother she would never know.

Due to Peter’s position as attaché to the Crown and her own position as Great Queen of Otherland, it ended up being a bigger wedding than Susanna would have wished. Vows were exchanged at the square at the centre of the village before the eyes of friends old and new from all over the land and there was not one eyebrow raised when she proudly showed her six-month pregnancy under the creamy silk embroidered with tiny pearls. The wedding celebrations took tree days of banquets and music in the streets, giving time to allies come together before the fall of Otherland to share good news and warm hugs, recall old stories and share new ones.

* * *


But Leabhar The Keeper had not been busy enough that year.

Little Digory Pavensy MacDomhann came into the world as a sunbeam in the grey dim of a winter morning.

Worthy of note for sure.

* * *


Susanna woke up in the middle of the night shivering slightly. The cashmere mantle that Leo had placed over her was lying on the floor by her feet. She stood from the rocking chair suddenly alarmed with the silence that felt unnatural for a nursery. Dig was not in the cradle and she ran to the bedroom holding her breath. She came to a halt by the doorway and leaned towards the wooden frame with a sigh and a smile. Leo was lying in the double moonlight in the centre of the bed, surrounded by pillows with a big rough hand on the back of his son who rocked up and down on his father’s chest at the pace of his heartbeat.

“The men of my life.”

She tiptoed to the armchair by the window and sat down slowly to watch. She had witnessed as Leo had become a father before her very eyes the moment he had held the tiny shrieking bundle in his arms too big, ignoring the smears of liquid and blood on his white shirt. The bond between father and son had been immediate as Dig had stopped crying and opened his eyes while Leo spoke words in the language of his ancestors in a low baritone.

It had been the father as well as the husband who had watched in awe as the baby’s absurdly small square hand rested on her breast the next moment when she had first fed him with the nourishment of life.

Leo had been relentless during the next couple of weeks, going through sleepless nights with a smile, showing up many times in the middle of the day to do whatever she asked him, volunteering to change the endless flow of dirty diapers, the tip of his enormous fingers working carefully with a surgeon’s precision.

She closed her eyes and sighed a prayer of gratitude for the chance to experience a miracle and for the comprehension of the true meaning of happiness.

And she said a prayer for her mother frozen in time, as she had done every single day since she had returned to Ainnar, wishing so hard to tell her the things that she had come to understand because now she was a mother herself.

* * *


Susanna was pacing up and down by the window of the living room at the manor rubbing her belly huge at seven months of pregnancy.

“Where is your bloody father, Julia Pavensy MacDomhann?” Her unborn daughter gave her a kick as reply.

“So you’re on his side too, aye?” Another kick made the answer quite clear. “Of course you are, a bheagan.” She patted her belly and looked again through the window, narrowing her eyes to focus on the iron gate visible beyond the fruit garden.

They had argued before Leo left for The Borders a fortnight ago, taking a very excited Digory with him.


“But he’s just turned six! He’s a baby!” Susanna was flushing with anger and concern. Leo was walking up and down the room, packing.

“Yer baby could wrestle his big cousin when he was three.” He frowned with a smile. ”Remember when he gave Jack a black eye?” He shook his head not caring to hide his pride.

“That’s not the point!”

“And he’s been riding horses since he was four.”

“He’s been riding Sir Bristle in the backyard, not on a two-week ride through The Borders!” She was red and snorting.

“Well, he will be riding one o’ ‘e horses we brought from the Far Shores ‘is time.”

“Leoghan MacDomhann, you would not dare!” Her face was on the verge of explosion.

“And when he turns seven in just eight months I will give him a dagger.” He stopped halfway from the drawer holding a stack of underwear, watching as she went mute and pale. “Sometimes I regret I gave ye this ring.” He walked to the chair and pushed the clothes in the bag. Susanna held her breath. “’Tis as dangerous as an iron punch and I’m glad ye’re not a lefty.”

“Ah!” She looked at her left hand turned into a fist in spite of herself, her wedding band turning the knuckle white. She shook her head in defeat and could not avoid smiling.

He crossed the space between them and held her.

“D’ye trust me?”

“With my life.”

Now the evening was coming on the day of their return and there was no sign of them.

* * *


It took her another hour of waiting until they heard noises outside. She dropped the teacup on the table and dashed out of the kitchen door, followed by Lu, Peter and Jill and the Professor, who had been keeping her company.

Digory met her halfway through the side garden and threw his arms around her belly.

“Mommy, mommy, we have a surprise for you!” His face was dusty but lit with excitement.

She did not quite get the meaning of his words, kissing him all over and searching his tiny sturdy body to check if there were not missing parts of her son.

“Let go, mommy…” He tried to break free from her embrace. “The surprise!” He pulled her by the hand. In the dim of the torchlight growing nearer she focused on the group approaching on horseback and held her breath with astonishment when she recognized the human shape too small on the saddle of the tall horse from the Far Shores.

“Mom?!”

* * *


Thanks to Peter trembling but strong arms holding her shoulders, Susanna did not collapse to the ground.

Ed was still sniffing with wet cheeks when he helped his mother down like a feather, placed a strong arm around her shoulders and they approached slowly.

The Pavensys were reunited at last in an unexpected and long wished embrace with tears of joy that overcame their bewilderment.

* * *



“How?”

Leo and Digory were two sleeping pauses away from home when they found her sitting by the creek talking cheerfully to Leabhar The Keeper standing on the large branch of the tall tree Leo had known when he arrived in Ainnar.

“Leo! You’re back! This is a lovely dream, don’t you think?” She smiled at him and gave him a kiss.

Leo scratched his head in puzzlement. “Mrs. Pavensy… How? Wha’ are ye doin’ here?” He shut his eyes and gave her a warm hug.

“Oh, silly, you know well what I’m doing here. You brought me here to see Susanna and the kids!” She frowned in a reprimand.

Then she told him how he had appeared in a golden glow in her dream and had taken her through a dark place until they had arrived at a crystal cave with a stream of salty water and then walked without talking until they had reached the creek and he had left her talking to Leabhar – “such a fine gentle bird” – with a promise to come back soon.

“Leoghan.” Leo thought, having a hard time trying to understand.

Digory pulled the sleeve of his father’s coat. ”Dad, is she granny Anna Marie?”

She looked curiously at the boy.

“Yes, Dig.” He shook his head and smiled. “Mrs. Pavensy, this is yer grandson Digory. He’s Susanna’s… He’s our son.” He looked down flushing, rolling his wedding band in his ring finger, the one the Professor had given him as a wedding gift.

“Oh!” She looked at him in confusion before holding the boy in a warm hug. “Is this a dream, Leo?” She pleaded with teary eyes.

“Nay.” He wiped a couple of stubborn tears.

“Am I… Dead?” The question lingered before he spoke.

“Nay, Mrs. Pavensy. Ye’re home.”

* * *


How and how long Mrs. Pavensy had come to Ainnar and wandered through The Borders ceased to matter now that she was home.

At first it was a tad strange to her to cope with the idea that her son Peter was mere ten years give or take younger than her. And all the odd things in that strange world… She would shake her head with a smile when she came to think about it.

But the truth was, she would not. She had more important things to do.

She was there when Susanna gave birth to her second child, Julia. Anna Marie Pavensy, who had lost three children and her sanity, was now the proud grandmother of eight, two for each of her own children. Not a day went by without her being hugged and kissed at least a dozen times, not reckoning the spouses of her children, who loved her as their own mother, giving a new meaning to her honorific title which she would always acknowledge with a funny face: Queen Mother of Otherland and Ainnar-Lata.

As years went on their endless march, great-grandchildren made the manor too small a place for such much laughter.

There were bad times as well, when alliances forged way back in the past were forced to meet in order to face evil old and new. Many a time she had gazed through the tall windows in the living room at the manor as her sons, daughters, sons and daughters-in-law, grandsons and granddaughters were gone for days too long without any comforting news.

But there were the warm embraces when they had returned safe. And the joyous afternoons with her daughters in her beloved greenhouse or at the gazebo with the children when they did their homework fast, so they could listen to their granny as she told them stories from a land far away. And the lazy evenings with her daughters and daughters-in-law chatting and embroidering by the fireplace. And the late hours with Lord Digory and Lady Plummer in the library recalling old stories and discussing his life work, his book on the philosophical mysteries of Ainnar.

It was with no regret concerning a life fulfilled that Anna Marie Pavensy closed her eyes for the last time at age ninety, surrounded by her loving family and mourned at all four corners of the world she had learned to call home.

* * *


“I will never get used to this bloody day without a night.” Susanna snorted adjusting the blindfold over her eyes with an angry gesture.

Leo had invited her for a ride at The Borders a couple of weeks after her mother’s wake.

“Whose was this brilliant idea to take me away from my soft pillows and scented bedsheets again?” She kicked Leo lightly in the shin.

“Mine, a bheagan. I’m the one to blame.” He smiled and squeezed her, kissing her grey hair. Then he snorted and stood up, helping her to her feet.

“What?” She grabbed him blindly.

“Come wi’ me.” He took her blindfold, picked the woollen plaid from the ground and pulled her by the hand.

They walked hand in hand for a while surrounded by the glow and the hum of things growing.

“Where are you taking me, man?” She asked panting.

“I think there’s a place where ye can have yer night.”

They walked up and down a couple of hills.

“Leo, you would not dare –“ She tried to resist but he was already pushing her across a shallow creek.

“Bugger.” She said between her teeth, punching him softly in the arm with her left hand, shaking her soaked skirt.

“Ow!” He rubbed his arm laughing. “I knew I should no’ ‘ave given ye tha’ bloody ring.”

They laughed and walked on.

“’Tis right o’er there, a bheagan.” They had reached the top of a hill. Beyond a cluster of trees, Susanna saw spikes of crystal sprouting from the grassy ground.

“Is it….?” She frowned at Leo.

“Aye.” He pulled her by the hand and they walked in silence until they were standing at the entrance of the cave. “Come. There’s no danger in there.” She squeezed his hand still frowning and followed him down the spinning staircase that led to the heart of the land.

Oddly enough it was not completely dark as the glimmering crystal surface carried in the soft glow from the outside. The staircase ended at a small parlour and they crossed the archway into the main chamber.

“Ah!” Susanna raised her ringed hand to her chest in awe. It was quite like the cave she had known a long time ago, with a beam of light shining on the water mirror, the tip-tap of dripping water all around.

“Only ‘tis no’ ho’ water; ‘tis salty like tears.” Leo read her thoughts.

Susanna trembled a little when she saw the crystal table on the left.

“’Tis no’ the same one, a bheagan.” He squeezed her hand, following the path of her memory.

There was a symbol carved on the crystal surface of the table and she could not suppress a scream: “Square for Earth.”

Leo spread the woollen plaid on the ground and pulled her to lie down in front of him.

“’Tis darker than outside. Ye can sleep now.” He squeezed her softly and waited until her heartbeat came to a slower pace and she finally fell asleep.

* * *


Against her darker expectations it was a deep dreamless sleep. She had not opened her yes yet, enjoying the shade when Leo kissed her neck and caressed her breast.

“Leo!” She tried to kick him in the leg but he had already grabbed her with his arms and legs.

“A man canna ge’ some love from his wife, aye?” He laughed and rolled up on top of her.

“An old bugger should not be bothering his sixty-year-old wife every couple of days!” She frowned but she was already flushing and wiggling her body under his.

“Who’s reckoning?” He laughed and passed his fingers through her hair. “Ye’re beautiful, mo bheagan.” He kissed her tenderly.

“I’m a grandmother of four, man.” She crossed her arms around his neck and looked at his face. He had grown to be a very distinct old man. His hair now completely white was still long in a plait; locks of silvery white fell loose on his higher forehead unable to shade the pair of sparkling eyes she had got used to see shifting from chestnut to dark brown when he was worried of angry. She frowned a bit when she saw the other thin scar on his cheek and wondered that twenty years had passed since she had dressed that wound after a battle. Beneath the tanned thin skin that stretched tighter on the cheekbones and a goatee he had been tendering for ten years, still light chestnut with streaks of grey on the square jaw, there was her friend, her husband and her lover for over forty years.

“Hmmm… Ye’re a very sexy granny, a bheagan.” He smiled and kissed her passionately. “Ye’re no’ growing tired o’ me, are ye?” He looked at her intensely.

“Never, m’eudail.”

* * *


She woke up with a smile on her face, the last notes of her dream tune still echoing in her mind. She wondered why after so long and opened her eyes.

He was standing facing the pond stretching himself.

“By the Goddess, you’re handsome, m’eaudail.” She thought indulging herself with the full sight of his naked body. Old age had found him slender and strong, a tad softer on the waist and on the belly she could see with her mind’s eye; the triangular shape of shoulders and back a little arched; the curve of his buttocks and thighs still firm to the touch.

She sighed and touched her breasts. They had grown bigger with time, making up for the inexorable demands of gravity. Her hand slid from the slippery reminders of his kisses to her own thigh and ass a little bit too large under her palm than she would have wished. Then she touched her remarkably flat abdomen after two pregnancies and sighed again, eyes shut.

It had been passionately that they had made love just now like the first time in the cave far away. Even in the calmness of an ocean already sailed, the wave of ecstasy had washed upon them just as strong as ever. “I’m not tired of you, m’eudail.”

She tapped her thigh and stood up, walking towards him.

“My kingdom for your thoughts.” She held his arm with both hands and kissed his shoulder, crossing the fingers of her left hand with the ones on his right hand. Then she stood by his side facing the pond.

“D’ye never think o’ goin’ back?” He frowned and squeezed her fingers.

“Not really… We have everything here.”

“Aye.” He moved his leg above the bank and put the tip of his toe in the water.

“But not a day went by without me thinking of Julia…” She sighed and squeezed his fingers in turn. “But I would miss the children.” She sighed once more.

“Bu’ we could live again, right?” Star’ o’er…” He still faced the water mirror as ripples formed and spread at the touch of his toe.

She frowned. “Do you think of going back?” She pulled him to look at his face but he was still mesmerized by the tiny waves vanishing in the dark ahead.

“Nay… ‘Tis just… Sometimes I wonder wha’ it would be to ‘ave a whole life ahead o’ us… Wi’ ye…” He finally looked at her. There was a shade of sorrow around him and she felt the same thing she could see in his eyes. The moment when they would part ways forever grew nearer by the hour.

She looked at the pond of light and shrugged. “But we don’t know if it works.” She waved a hand towards the water. Her mother had come through this cave, meaning there might be one ticket back. But they could not know for sure.

“We may as well try.” He looked at her so intensely with a grimed face that she was suddenly afraid.

“What if it doesn’t, m’eudail?” She shook her head disconsolate.

He shrugged his shoulders. “If it doesna work I’ll make love to ye every night until ye die and then I’ll die with ye.” She could not avoid laughing when he kissed her.

“Come!” His face was suddenly lit with excitement. “Wha’ was it? First the left, then the right…” Pulling her over the bank, fingers still crossed.

“Leo, we should get dressed --”

But then there was only darkness.

* * *


In that absolute nothingness there was only one thing: the pressure of fingers clenched in each other.

* * *


They dived in freezing waters surrounded by darkness, unconscious, and were dragged slowly down under, deeper and deeper. Susanna was suddenly awake when she felt a strong pull upwards, finding out the hard way that that water was real. Her fingers hurt when a strong grip dragged her over the bank. She looked to her left and Leo was lying by her side, breathing heavily. Freezing, she patted her black sweater and her thighs under the denim pants.

“Leo!” She rolled to her side to hold him. He was as horrified as she was. He finally released her fingers and they both grunted with pain. Their hands were bleeding because of the pressure of her wedding band. They held each other tight and remained in each other’s arms regardless of the cold. The touch of their younger selves left no need for words.

* * *


When freezing became unbearable, they slowly rose to their feet and walked heavily towards the manor. They stopped in the middle of the hallway at the top of the old staircase. To the right it led to Susanna’s room; to the left, the corridor led to her mother’s. She turned left.

“She’s no’ there, a bheagan.” Leo pulled her hand, pale and still trembling.

“I have to see…” She looked down and bit her lip. They walked the hallway together.

There was a thread of light coming from beneath the door. Susanna stopped and touched the wooden surface with palms spread, not sure of what she was about to find. Was she dead or just vanished into thin air? She slowly moved the knob and pushed the door that opened with noisy hinges.

* * *


“Su! You’re back too!” Her mother was standing by the mirror fully dressed for supper.

Susanna took one step back in shock and bumped into Leo’s trembling body.

“And Leo too! I’m so happy!” She walked towards them and gave them a harm embrace. “But you’re soaked and freezing! Come, take of this sweater, darling you’ll get a cold. And you, Leo, dear, take off this coat.” They stared at her open-mouthed. “Now, hurry!” She clapped her hands to wake them from their trance and fetched a couple of bath cloths from the wardrobe. She helped Susanna who had begun to take her sweater off mechanically, still pale in a shade of blue.

“Oh, dear, your hand is bleeding… But you brought your ring with you…” She rubbed Susanna with the bath cloth for a while and went to Leo.

“Let me help you, son.” She helped Leo out of his coat and tiptoed to rub his head with the towel.

Susanna finally collapsed, sitting on the floor.

“Oh, dear…” Her mother kneeled beside her while Leo leaned back against the wall. “Everything is fine, now.” She hugged and kissed her wet hair.

“How?” Susanna asked at last with a whisper.

“It’s simple. Leoghan told me everything. I never died here, you know. And dying is such a relative thing, isn’t it?” She held Susanna in her arms, kissing her tears that flooded freely.

* * *


Julia and Mrs. Cameron had come back from the millstone with heavy hearts. First because Susanna had not showed up; then because during the Samhain celebration there had been a blast and the millstone had been broken in two. When they stepped into the kitchen, Susanna and Leo were finishing the chicken broth that her mother had insisted on serving them. “To help your recovery”, she had said.

Susanna jumped to her feet and ran to embrace her beloved friend.

“Oh, Ju… I missed you so much!” she cried in her arms until Julia began to cry as well not sure why. “There’s so much I have to tell you…”

“Tomorrow, dear.” Her mother said, urging her and Leo out of the kitchen. “You two need a hot bath and a good night sleep.”

“Don’t tell me, the lake again?” Mrs. Cameron shook her head and crossed her chest.

* * *


Before going to Susanna’s room, Leo went to the library. He picked a book from the shelf and leafed through. When he found the passage he was looking for, he reached at the back pocket of his trousers for a couple of folded sheets of paper. He placed one of then between the pages of the book. Then he carefully unfolded the other still moist in his hand and read the bits and pieces of words that remained amongst smears of blue ink. He kissed the page softly, folded it back and placed it with the other. He closed the book with a sigh and caressed the cover for a while, eyes shut. Then he returned the book to its place in the shelf and left.

* * *


Later that night they made love out of passion, of healing, of fear and of hope.

Susanna woke up when the first glow of dawn announced the break of another day. The first day of the rest of their lives. She looked at Leo’s face so young and placid, smiling in his sleep.

She stood up and walked to the window looking at the side garden, the woods beyond, the wavy hills and the moors yonder. She smiled when she realized she had drawn a spiralling circle on the windowpane.

Her left hand moved to her naked belly, the sapphire on her wedding band catching the glow of dawn in sparks of silver and blue.

She would be a mother again. Soon.

She smiled and went back to bed sliding to Leo’s side. She kissed his hand when he searched for hers.

Then they slept a deep and dreamless sleep.


* * * THE END * * *


























Post Scriptum


“Peter Pavensy MacDomhann Junior, come here right this minute!”

Susanna climbed the last steps into the attic, panting. “Your grandmother is too old for hide and seek, lad.” She thought tucking a lock of grey hair behind her ear with a snort. When her eyes adjusted to the dim that came from the coloured glass of the round window opposite the door, she stepped in the cluttered room.

She was startled when the door of the old wooden wardrobe opened with a blast and Peter came out running and threw himself in her arms hiding the dark head he had got from his mother in her lap.

“Oh, Granny I missed you so much!” He was sobbing but smiling with relief.

“What…? What happened? She frowned, her heart beating fast for something she was not aware of yet.

“Granny, I was gone for years! There was a house just like this and everybody was there! Lord Peter and Lord Edmond and Lady Lucy and my uncle Lord Digory and my Auntie Julia and the kids!” He looked at her with excitement. “The stories you told me, they’re true! They remember you, Granny, they miss you!”

“Peter…” The grip in her throat had chosen a bad time to come back after so many years.

Suddenly his face was shadowed. “You don’t believe me, Granny? You have to believe me!” His eyes searched her face with sudden despair. “I’m not lying, Granny! Say you believe me!” Tears began to roll down his cheeks again.

She smiled with tears in her own eyes and wiped the tears off his cheeks. “I believe you, lad. I do believe you.”

His face was lit again with a smile of relief.

“Now, let’s go to the old mill. Tell me everything.”

* * *

ok, the saga is over. still waiting for feedback...