Killing myself
Was a real exercise in mental stability
The resounding thud
Of my head hitting the floor
Some time after the bullet had passed through my brain
For a second I thought you might say everything was right where it belonged
For a second I thought you
Killing myself was a real exercise in mental stability

wow, when I read this in my head the tone sounds almost calm and clinical. I actually found this to be really powerful because the lack of emotion in the poem made me feel it even more. I have actually read this several times over and I it is very well written, I think I'm really surprised that you have managed to be provocative, emotive and achieve something so powerful in 8 lines. Well done.

Wow those are some of the biggest compliments I've ever gotten on a poem I've written, thanks. I literally wrote it almost straight out like that maybe an hour ago. I'm not sure I even edited anything at all.

i'm glad some one feels the same way about going to the gym

i've read it some time earlier and just read it again and i really like it. i love the "for a second" repetition, i used it in my book (posted a couple of months ago).