honesty
and empty arms
and empty hearts
and empty minds
except of her
and how she was
and how she is
and why she's not
and tears in eyes
and hearts
and minds
with thoughts
of how things
could have
might have
should have been
if only she
if only he
if only they

d

Forgive my incorrect use of such terms, but i love your pace, meter and structure. The whole thing just flows effortlessly. Great work. Is the 'd' at the end part of the piece?

Edit: i gather it's not, but i thought it may have been intentional, as a way of making the last word 'they' past tense. A subconscious double meaning? =)

d = debra... I sign everything with a lower case d. But the double meaning is something I never thought of before. Good eye. And thank you.



d

This is really interesting, I also love the pace and it kind of reads like frantic reflection to me. I love your use of repetition as well and I am a firm believer that a simple style can have a bigger impact. Well done babe

like it! it's fast, like a wave.

I love this. I felt I could almost tap my foot to the constant, fast pace. It feels incomplete in the end, but the double meaning mentioned kind of makes it feel finished. That's what I thought at first as well. And it make a real impact.