As deep as the ocean are my desolate dreams Prayers brewing like hurricanes in the desperate belligerent wind Attempting to locate reason Throwing gestures Fatigued in despair This circle has no window The light cannot beam So who is to dare?
Joined: Tue May 30, 2006 2:48 pm Posts: 3115 Location: Edinburgh/Lincoln, UK
girl_interrupted wrote:
As deep as the ocean are my desolate dreams Prayers brewing like hurricanes in the desperate belligerent wind Attempting to locate reason Throwing gestures Fatigued in despair This circle has no window The light cannot beam So who is to dare?
Wow, there's not a weak line there...'throwing gestures/fatigued in despair' is my favourite part....and of course the way you slipped the rhyme in with the title at the end. Good stuff.
As deep as the ocean are my desolate dreams Prayers brewing like hurricanes in the desperate belligerent wind Attempting to locate reason Throwing gestures Fatigued in despair This circle has no window The light cannot beam So who is to dare?
Wow, there's not a weak line there...'throwing gestures/fatigued in despair' is my favourite part....and of course the way you slipped the rhyme in with the title at the end. Good stuff.
Joined: Thu Mar 29, 2007 4:36 am Posts: 6781 Location: Struggle Town
this is really good g_i, I agree that there isn't a weak line in this. I really like the line 'This circle has no window', which is a sentiment that I can relate to. You have created some really vibrant images here, I really dig it.
_________________ When will it stop, the hate, the generation of cock sucking faggots, traditionalistic fundamentalist catholics
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thank you, i appreciate the feedback!