aside from my last boss saying, we have to let you go


today my boss told me how much she loves my sarcastic/smartass nature and that she would love it if i applied it to her, cause she said, it would be impossible to be mad at me cause it would be funny

the weird thing is, i think the only time i have even been close to sarcastic with her was when we installed office 2007 on her machine and she asked where the send button was and i said

oh, you mean that big square box that says send?

she wants your cock

make sure there is some light on if you ever go down on a girl. sometimes I would wake up in the morning, go take a piss and see in the mirror that i have blood on my face.

"I'll be in on time tomorrow"

"Hey, you want a ciggy" (I'm 16) and "Bitch get the fuck off the road you dumb cunt" when he gave me a ride home from work once.

i think something about the old woman in the drive thru about eating old pussies are better cause of all the wrinkles

BOSS: "I'm looking to retire in the next 18 months, do you want to buy the company from me?"
ME: "erm, sure why not"

Boss: You wanna manage the store, i think you'd do a good job.

Me: No.

"what are you doing here? you shouldnt be sober at this time of night"

"You're fired."

"We won the Quigly innovation award for the day program you set up"

how do you like Office 2007 peeps? my boss had us try it the other day as a survey for one of his school classes and it took me some time to get used to it. i think once i am used it, it definitely looks like an improvement.

"you did a really wonderful job today"

so today, my boss is back from vacation and has a meeting with her boss


my boss comes out and says, jerry, i need a few minutes to talk to you

my stomach dropped and i was worried. there was a mixup last week and someone didnt get their equipment request on time, and while we didnt get yelled at it was known my bosses boss wasnt happy with have to get the equipment for the person.

so im nervous as fuck, but get called away, as does my boss. so we put off the meeting. about 40 mintues later, she asks if i have a couple of minutes. i tell her i do, where she proceeds to say, lets go to the enclave (and enclave is basically and empty office they have set up for workers to make personal calls or just to go in and relax if they are having a bad day.

so we get in there and she shuts the door and slumps into the chair and says, i need to talk to you about your job.

so in the span of about 5 seconds, i rewound in my mind every single thing i have ever said to anyone on the job in my short 2 months there and i couldnt think of anything. then im like, fuck, im being let go.

so she says, we are going to start the paper work on buying out your temp contract and bringing you on as a full time employee.

right now im just a temp to perm. i work 40 hours a week. as a full time reg employee, ill get paid for 40, but only work 35 (1 hour paid lunch) full medical/dental/vision, start off with 13.5 vacation days and some side perks such as 15% off my wireless bill and free drycleaning as well as others

i let out a huge sigh of relief and she was like, whats wrong? i told her i thought she was letting me go cause all the signs were there, bad day, she mumbled about talking to me, lets talk in private etc..

she just laughed and said, i honestly can not say one bad thing about you, you picked up alot more than we would have expected you to do so and everyone on the staff has said nothing but praise for you and i have a few emails that say so

congrats

peeps like peeps

"I don't really care, just don't fuck shit up too bad."