"Passing Through"

She said to me,
"I wish sometimes you'd let me in."
Don't we all, babe
Don't we all
Yeah, she said to me,
"I wish sometimes you'd let me win."
Don't we all, babe
Don't we all

But these walls were built with you in mind, darlin'
So it sure ain't you gonna knock em down

And so the road keeps goin'
Never fair, but true
And so the road keeps goin'
But I'm just passin' through

She said to me,
"I hate the taste, but I like the way it feels."
Don't we all, babe
Don't we all
Yeah, she said to me,
"Seems you prefer a home on wheels."
Don't we all, babe
Don't we all

But the feeling don't last like it used to, does it darlin'?
And the taste has got me sick...but I just can't put it down.

And so the road keeps goin'
Never fair, but true
And so the road keeps goin'
But I'm just passin' through

Nothin' makes much sense no more...now does it, babe?

the verses and what appears to be the prechorus are solid... pretty on point. the chorus, loses me a bit, but if its sung it may not lose me... i think maybe if you went with more metaphors in that part... imagery generally keeps me interested

i like the change... i think it might be good to acknowlege that the girl is just a stop in the road... it's implied, but i think that would add a layer to it

the babe and darlin' parts seem forced and really take away from the lyrics.

I understand your point, but I feel like they fit when I actually sing the song. I just tried removing them and it doesn't sound right at all within the song structure. Maybe, you'd have a different opinion if you heard them in the context of the song...or maybe not. Thanks for taking the time to read it though.

hearin it always help those an ain'ts

Without hearing this, I have to say I think they work well, I think they're part of the point be made, and are integral. If you take these out, it loses it's power. These repeat. It's an important theme

just my opinion.

Wow. I shouldn't be permitted to write past a certain hour! Is this english?

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well, i think that the "babe" and "darlin" parts sound like said between the teeth, like there's sarcasm and even some hatred, some disdain. and i really think it adds to the song.

Yes. That's what I was trying to say, only I was incoherent. I'd take it a step further. These words are necessary.

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Just by reading this it seems like it would be great when sung. Good job.

i think those are the words that really make the song what it is. it sounds to me like a real jaded tone, like it's all been done before, the 'we' and the fact that the 'road keeps going' sound to me like she wasn't the first and she won't be the last he has this discussion with. i really liked this piece, i'd love to hear it with some music.

it immediately made me think of Johnny Cash...