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 Post subject: An older one
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 4:09 am 
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Yeah Yeah Yeah
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Ok, this one has been out in the wild for some time so I suppose there's no harm in posting it here


Let's go dancing and at the rest,
watch the letters compete with our footwork.
You'll hold the candle, with its light so blinding
and I'll take the heat, with its all consuming rage.

Imagine letters that dance,
echoing feet that once moved in synchronicity.
Imagine hearts once racing from the beat,
turning,... as the mind breathes heavy on paper.

They'll see us not, in the back booth
making magic words with heat and light,
and telling tales,
so you won't have to burn in vain, anymore
and I'll see through these eyes... forever



copyright Alessiana

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 Post subject: Re: An older one
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 11:05 am 
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Alessiana wrote:
as the mind breathes heavy on paper.


That is an awesome line. I'm mad I didn't think of it.


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 Post subject: Re: An older one
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 4:06 pm 
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McParadigm wrote:
Alessiana wrote:
as the mind breathes heavy on paper.


That is an awesome line. I'm mad I didn't think of it.


Gee thanks!

That's mighty flattering. There are problems with the poem but I blame that on the Black Cat in DC. I wrote it there. Don't remember the band though. I think I had too much to drink

ps blame anyone, anything other than the muse as she becomes offended and may seek revenge. Revenge can include grabbing you by the throat at the wrong moment (performance reviews, business email, message board postings.... ahem)

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 Post subject: Re: An older one
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 6:08 pm 
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i'm with McParadigm, that's a great line. that whole "verse" is pretty good actually. don't care too much for the 1st and 3rd part.


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 Post subject: Re: An older one
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 8:21 pm 
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Johnny Guitar
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A beautiful peace of work if I do say so myself.

I give you two :thumbsup:

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 Post subject: Re: An older one
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 8:43 pm 
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conoalias wrote:
i'm with McParadigm, that's a great line. that whole "verse" is pretty good actually. don't care too much for the 1st and 3rd part.


Yes. Those are problematic. Absolutely. I know what's wrong too. But I like the rhythm and the ideas so I haven't bothered to mess with it. It's good enough. There's also enough truth in it for it to work on the level of reality.

So one person knows what this is about as I got a PM on it, but it's not the easiest thing. I think it's obvious but I've been told I'm difficult so...

.

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 Post subject: Re: An older one
PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 8:47 pm 
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Yeah Yeah Yeah
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Sober wrote:
A beautiful peace of work if I do say so myself.

I give you two :thumbsup:


Thank you.

The fact that YOU don't have anything to say is kinda cool because you usually do.

Anyway, that's all I'm posting in this forum. I'd much rather read your stuff. I wouldn't have done it at all but McP asked so I grabbed one at random.

.

_________________
~~Aless

support public radio http://www.wtmd.org/index.html

AHOF Lifetime Achievement Honoree

May there be an ever after, after all.

I won’t call you surely, if you forget I have a drinking problem

.


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 Post subject: Re: An older one
PostPosted: Fri Oct 05, 2007 1:34 am 
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Johnny Guitar
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Alessiana wrote:
Sober wrote:
A beautiful peace of work if I do say so myself.

I give you two :thumbsup:


Thank you.

The fact that YOU don't have anything to say is kinda cool because you usually do.

Anyway, that's all I'm posting in this forum. I'd much rather read your stuff. I wouldn't have done it at all but McP asked so I grabbed one at random.

.


Well, throughout my high school career, it has come to my, and my teacher's, attention that I am terrible at decrypting poetry and that poem is very obscure for me. I realize most of the best poetry is but I always find myself straining to understand, but from what I did understand was great. I don't like criticizing things I don't understand. =)

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A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them-George Bush


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 Post subject: Re: An older one
PostPosted: Fri Oct 05, 2007 2:44 am 
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Yeah Yeah Yeah
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Sober wrote:
Alessiana wrote:
Sober wrote:
A beautiful peace of work if I do say so myself.

I give you two :thumbsup:


Thank you.

The fact that YOU don't have anything to say is kinda cool because you usually do.

Anyway, that's all I'm posting in this forum. I'd much rather read your stuff. I wouldn't have done it at all but McP asked so I grabbed one at random.

.


Well, throughout my high school career, it has come to my, and my teacher's, attention that I am terrible at decrypting poetry and that poem is very obscure for me. I realize most of the best poetry is but I always find myself straining to understand, but from what I did understand was great. I don't like criticizing things I don't understand. =)


I sent you an incoherent PM. We can talk it through tomorrow!

It may have been floating the Internet for years (I think mid-90s) but it's great to have new feedback and discussion.

Thanks again and good night

.

_________________
~~Aless

support public radio http://www.wtmd.org/index.html

AHOF Lifetime Achievement Honoree

May there be an ever after, after all.

I won’t call you surely, if you forget I have a drinking problem

.


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 Post subject: Re: An older one
PostPosted: Fri Oct 05, 2007 7:14 pm 
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Wow, one in the morning? You better have went to bed.

_________________
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them-George Bush


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 Post subject: Re: An older one
PostPosted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 4:16 am 
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Yeah Yeah Yeah
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Sober wrote:
Wow, one in the morning? You better have went to bed.


You might be a kid but uhm..,. uh, yeah that! Right.

.

_________________
~~Aless

support public radio http://www.wtmd.org/index.html

AHOF Lifetime Achievement Honoree

May there be an ever after, after all.

I won’t call you surely, if you forget I have a drinking problem

.


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 Post subject: Re: An older one
PostPosted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 7:35 pm 
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Yeah Yeah Yeah
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:shock: You need to post more.


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 Post subject: Re: An older one
PostPosted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 10:05 pm 
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iceagecoming wrote:
:shock: You need to post more.


Doesn't she?!

_________________
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them-George Bush


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 Post subject: Re: An older one
PostPosted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 10:07 pm 
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Yeah Yeah Yeah
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iceagecoming wrote:
:shock: You need to post more.


Been there, done that
Got the tee shirt
No need to return to the venue

But you are sweet to say that.

I thought maybe 3 people here liked it... as 1 pmd me. Which is ok!! Of course, for I didn't post it for any reason other than to explain myself a little.

Good to see you!!! {{{hugs}}}

.

_________________
~~Aless

support public radio http://www.wtmd.org/index.html

AHOF Lifetime Achievement Honoree

May there be an ever after, after all.

I won’t call you surely, if you forget I have a drinking problem

.


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 Post subject: Re: An older one
PostPosted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 10:10 pm 
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Yeah Yeah Yeah
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Sober wrote:
iceagecoming wrote:
:shock: You need to post more.


Doesn't she?!


::thwap:: Back off Bi..... nice girl. Nice girl.

Is Homecoming tonight for your high school? Are you going? I know my daughter is going tonight.


.

_________________
~~Aless

support public radio http://www.wtmd.org/index.html

AHOF Lifetime Achievement Honoree

May there be an ever after, after all.

I won’t call you surely, if you forget I have a drinking problem

.


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 Post subject: Re: An older one
PostPosted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 10:13 pm 
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Alessiana wrote:
Sober wrote:
iceagecoming wrote:
:shock: You need to post more.


Doesn't she?!


::thwap:: Back off Bi..... nice girl. Nice girl.

Is Homecoming tonight for your high school? Are you going? I know my daughter is going tonight.


.


Yes, actually it is. Just got back from getting my hair done as a matter of fact.

Sad thing is -- I'm already tired. XD

_________________
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them-George Bush


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 Post subject: Re: An older one
PostPosted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 11:26 pm 
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Yeah Yeah Yeah
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Sober wrote:
Alessiana wrote:
Sober wrote:
iceagecoming wrote:
:shock: You need to post more.


Doesn't she?!


::thwap:: Back off Bi..... nice girl. Nice girl.

Is Homecoming tonight for your high school? Are you going? I know my daughter is going tonight.


.


Yes, actually it is. Just got back from getting my hair done as a matter of fact.

Sad thing is -- I'm already tired. XD


: (

If i were your mother, I would ask if you really wanted to go and if you would be depresssed if you didn't. If you're going to be bummed out about not going, thinking you'll miss something, then go. If not, don't go. Who cares about the hair?

Would your date bring you home if you got tired or would someone come get you? We can do this in PM.

.

_________________
~~Aless

support public radio http://www.wtmd.org/index.html

AHOF Lifetime Achievement Honoree

May there be an ever after, after all.

I won’t call you surely, if you forget I have a drinking problem

.


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