Ok, this one has been out in the wild for some time so I suppose there's no harm in posting it here
Let's go dancing and at the rest, watch the letters compete with our footwork. You'll hold the candle, with its light so blinding and I'll take the heat, with its all consuming rage.
Imagine letters that dance, echoing feet that once moved in synchronicity. Imagine hearts once racing from the beat, turning,... as the mind breathes heavy on paper.
They'll see us not, in the back booth making magic words with heat and light, and telling tales, so you won't have to burn in vain, anymore and I'll see through these eyes... forever
That is an awesome line. I'm mad I didn't think of it.
Gee thanks!
That's mighty flattering. There are problems with the poem but I blame that on the Black Cat in DC. I wrote it there. Don't remember the band though. I think I had too much to drink
ps blame anyone, anything other than the muse as she becomes offended and may seek revenge. Revenge can include grabbing you by the throat at the wrong moment (performance reviews, business email, message board postings.... ahem)
i'm with McParadigm, that's a great line. that whole "verse" is pretty good actually. don't care too much for the 1st and 3rd part.
Yes. Those are problematic. Absolutely. I know what's wrong too. But I like the rhythm and the ideas so I haven't bothered to mess with it. It's good enough. There's also enough truth in it for it to work on the level of reality.
So one person knows what this is about as I got a PM on it, but it's not the easiest thing. I think it's obvious but I've been told I'm difficult so...
The fact that YOU don't have anything to say is kinda cool because you usually do.
Anyway, that's all I'm posting in this forum. I'd much rather read your stuff. I wouldn't have done it at all but McP asked so I grabbed one at random.
The fact that YOU don't have anything to say is kinda cool because you usually do.
Anyway, that's all I'm posting in this forum. I'd much rather read your stuff. I wouldn't have done it at all but McP asked so I grabbed one at random.
.
Well, throughout my high school career, it has come to my, and my teacher's, attention that I am terrible at decrypting poetry and that poem is very obscure for me. I realize most of the best poetry is but I always find myself straining to understand, but from what I did understand was great. I don't like criticizing things I don't understand. =)
_________________ A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them-George Bush
The fact that YOU don't have anything to say is kinda cool because you usually do.
Anyway, that's all I'm posting in this forum. I'd much rather read your stuff. I wouldn't have done it at all but McP asked so I grabbed one at random.
.
Well, throughout my high school career, it has come to my, and my teacher's, attention that I am terrible at decrypting poetry and that poem is very obscure for me. I realize most of the best poetry is but I always find myself straining to understand, but from what I did understand was great. I don't like criticizing things I don't understand. =)
I sent you an incoherent PM. We can talk it through tomorrow!
It may have been floating the Internet for years (I think mid-90s) but it's great to have new feedback and discussion.
Been there, done that Got the tee shirt No need to return to the venue
But you are sweet to say that.
I thought maybe 3 people here liked it... as 1 pmd me. Which is ok!! Of course, for I didn't post it for any reason other than to explain myself a little.
Is Homecoming tonight for your high school? Are you going? I know my daughter is going tonight.
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Yes, actually it is. Just got back from getting my hair done as a matter of fact.
Sad thing is -- I'm already tired. XD
: (
If i were your mother, I would ask if you really wanted to go and if you would be depresssed if you didn't. If you're going to be bummed out about not going, thinking you'll miss something, then go. If not, don't go. Who cares about the hair?
Would your date bring you home if you got tired or would someone come get you? We can do this in PM.
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