Someone I know has recently gotten into a relationship. He'll tell me it's not a relationship, but he's been seeing the girl for a few weeks now. From what I know of this kid, take my word that it's a legit relationship.
This broad has issues. She's very recently divorced, and I don't know how to explain this better than saying she's kind of weird. She's sent my buddy some strange text messages, and she kind of overwhelmed him with confessing the fact that she's liked him for the past year or so (which would mean while she was married). She invited him over once, and he obliged. He was telling me the next day how grossed out he was by the fact that her house was a complete mess, and her one dog kept eating the other dog's shit and would run around the house with serious shit breath and jump on the girl's couches and her bed and stuff. Well...he couldn't have been too grossed out, because he's still with her.
My buddy has a really strange way with women. The past couple of girls he's legitimately dated were comeplete wackos in their own right. For example, one had a kid and was a self-centered piece of shit who would go to bars and clubs every weekend while having someone babysit her child, and another was a closet lesbian who would hardly engage in any sexual situations with him.
There's a pattern here. The guy dates chicks with baggage. This is something that has concerned me for a while. There's also another pattern where he jumps into shit with these broads very quickly. He wanted to fucking MARRY one of those chicks, and a few other people and I explained to him how it would have been the biggest mistake of his life. Trust me, this broad wasn't worth the time of ANY decent human being.
What's really bizarre about all of this is that this guy has a lot going for him. He's in his mid twenties, he makes six figures, he's a homeowner and he's a good-looking guy. Trust me, I know plenty of girls who think he is very attractive, and I've never heard anyone say anything close to otherwise. The bottom line is that the dude should have absolutely no problem finidng dates, and thereby, getting out of relationships when he senses trouble.
I've heard about some sort of psychological thing where certain people tend to date people who "need help" because they want to help them themselves. This is pretty much my buddy in a nuthsell. Also, I think he's in a bit of a rush to get married for God knows what reason. It seems like he's willing to give any girl who likes him a chance. But what's really weird is that none of the women I mentioned so far in this thread are remotely attractive physically, let alone personality-wise. I don't care if that sounds shallow, I'm just being honest. This person is a magnet for chicks who are a pain in the ass and unattractive. It wouldn't be a big deal if he didn't get into serious relationships with these people, but he always does. He's young, successful, handsome and a generally great person. He doesn't need to settle for anything less than a really incredible girl.
So what do I say? I need to put this into perspective for him and explain that he doesn't need this. He can do so much better. None of this may sound like a big deal, but this dude is an emotional guy, and I don't want to see him step into this territory again. I just don't want to sound like a jerkoff. I mean...if he's enjoying himself that's all that matters, right? But I think I know this person well enough to recognize that he's iffy about the situation, but not backing out for some reason. I think I should say something to him.
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 11:17 pm Posts: 13551 Location: is a jerk in wyoming Gender: Female
I hate to be the dick here, because from reading what you wrote, you're obviously concerned for your friend's wellbeing, and that's admirable, but... most of the time, people just don't react well to anyone trying to interfere with their relationships, no matter how well intentioned you are, or how damaging the relationship is to them.
I suppose it's worth the effort to try to talk with him if he's a good friend, but don't be too surprised if he's offended by it. It happens.
If I had better advice, I'd give it to you, but I'm something of a loser in the relationship advice department. Good luck whatever happens.
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 3:09 pm Posts: 10839 Location: metro west, mass Gender: Male
mowbs wrote:
her one dog kept eating the other dog's shit and would run around the house with serious shit breath and jump on the girl's couches and her bed and stuff.
_________________ "There are two ways to enslave and conquer a nation. One is by the sword. The other is by debt." -John Adams
Joined: Sun Dec 05, 2004 5:47 am Posts: 27904 Location: Philadelphia Gender: Male
But seriously, Malice is right. There's no way to bring something like this up without the guy at the very least being mildly offended. And if this pattern of his is a personality trait, what makes you think you're gonna be able to change that? I've had friends in similar situations (not the dog poop stuff, that was gross) and ultimately they just had to learn for themselves. All you can do is sit back and watch it unfold. If you try to help, you're gonna be labeled an asshole. Some men are just genetically perennial fuck-ups when it comes to women. Not an easy thing to change, no matter how much you'd like to be the one to do it.
_________________ It's always the fallen ones who think they're always gonna save me.
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