Post subject: Once in a lifetime chance to be a asshole
Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 2:24 pm
a joke
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 3:08 am Posts: 22978 Gender: Male
So my wife is pregnant. This not about being a dick to her.
Its about being a dick to my unborn child.
My wife is due on March the 5th, 2008.
Which is a short 6 days after.... February 29th. Both my wife and I were born about a week early. The Dr. said that they induce labor fairly regularly for people that want a specific birth date, although they cant make any guarantees of course.
I think for birthday 1-19 the child may be bitter about this decision. However, since she will spend her life having a 2 day birthday (2/28-3/1), by the time its her 20th (which will be a friday-sunday), and 24th, she will relish in the opportunity to essentially have a 3 day birthday.
Post subject: Re: Once in a lifetime chance to be a asshole
Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 2:29 pm
Camden Crew
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 10:59 am Posts: 9057 Location: Camden, NJ
these doctors cant predict the due date any more accurately than you or I can.
what they due is guesstimate the exact date of conception, and then they just tell you exactly 9 months from that date is the due date.
our doc swore 100% we conceived on December 21st. which was physically impossible because I was at a work party that night and didnt get home until 2am. and the entire week of xmas I know we didnt do it.
so the doc tells us September 21st is the due date, and the baby came out September 6th. "3 weeks early" even tho she didnt show sings of being a premie.
doctors are morons
_________________ Frank Parisan was my friend. He was my Camden Brudda. He will be missed
Post subject: Re: Once in a lifetime chance to be a asshole
Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 2:33 pm
Leak Inspector
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 5:25 pm Posts: 35180 Location: Brasil Gender: Male
Koufax wrote:
our doc swore 100% we conceived on December 21st. which was physically impossible because I was at a work party that night and didnt get home until 2am. and the entire week of xmas I know we didnt do it.
_________________ need you, dream you, find you, taste you, fuck you, use you, scar you, break you, lose me, hate me, smash me, erase me, kill me....
Post subject: Re: Once in a lifetime chance to be a asshole
Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 2:37 pm
Camden Crew
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 10:59 am Posts: 9057 Location: Camden, NJ
psychobain wrote:
Koufax wrote:
our doc swore 100% we conceived on December 21st. which was physically impossible because I was at a work party that night and didnt get home until 2am. and the entire week of xmas I know we didnt do it.
she actually argued with me that a fucked my wife on THIS VERY DAY. and then my wife was convinced that we did too.
women
_________________ Frank Parisan was my friend. He was my Camden Brudda. He will be missed
Post subject: Re: Once in a lifetime chance to be a asshole
Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 2:41 pm
a joke
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 3:08 am Posts: 22978 Gender: Male
Koufax wrote:
these doctors cant predict the due date any more accurately than you or I can.
what they due is guesstimate the exact date of conception, and then they just tell you exactly 9 months from that date is the due date.
Our Dr. Has told us the same thing pretty much. However, presuming the due date is close, there is a very good chance my wife will be pregnant on 2/29, and we'll have the option to induce at that point, if we so choose.
Post subject: Re: Once in a lifetime chance to be a asshole
Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 3:48 pm
In a van down by the river
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 6:15 am Posts: 33031
Koufax wrote:
psychobain wrote:
Koufax wrote:
our doc swore 100% we conceived on December 21st. which was physically impossible because I was at a work party that night and didnt get home until 2am. and the entire week of xmas I know we didnt do it.
she actually argued with me that a fucked my wife on THIS VERY DAY. and then my wife was convinced that we did too.
Post subject: Re: Once in a lifetime chance to be a asshole
Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 5:19 pm
Red Mosquito, my libido
Joined: Sun May 21, 2006 2:02 am Posts: 91597 Location: Sector 7-G
Peeps wrote:
Koufax wrote:
psychobain wrote:
Koufax wrote:
our doc swore 100% we conceived on December 21st. which was physically impossible because I was at a work party that night and didnt get home until 2am. and the entire week of xmas I know we didnt do it.
she actually argued with me that a fucked my wife on THIS VERY DAY. and then my wife was convinced that we did too.
women
maybe YOU didnt fuck your wife that very day
It would have been hilarious if baby Koufax came out black.
_________________ It takes a big man to make a threat on the internet.
Post subject: Re: Once in a lifetime chance to be a asshole
Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 5:38 pm
Unthought Known
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 4:52 pm Posts: 6822 Location: NY Gender: Male
If they could reach inside a woman's rectum and palpate her ovaries, they might be able to be more accurate with their date of conception. Something makes me think women wouldn't be for this.
Post subject: Re: Once in a lifetime chance to be a asshole
Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 5:51 pm
The Maleficent
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 11:17 pm Posts: 13551 Location: is a jerk in wyoming Gender: Female
Go_State wrote:
If they could reach inside a woman's rectum and palpate her ovaries, they might be able to be more accurate with their date of conception. Something makes me think women wouldn't be for this.
I don't think you can get to the ovaries via the rectum, babe...
Post subject: Re: Once in a lifetime chance to be a asshole
Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 5:54 pm
Supersonic
Joined: Tue Apr 19, 2005 12:41 am Posts: 14208 Location: Lexington, KY Gender: Male
malice wrote:
Go_State wrote:
If they could reach inside a woman's rectum and palpate her ovaries, they might be able to be more accurate with their date of conception. Something makes me think women wouldn't be for this.
I don't think you can get to the ovaries via the rectum, babe...
Post subject: Re: Once in a lifetime chance to be a asshole
Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 5:55 pm
The Maleficent
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 11:17 pm Posts: 13551 Location: is a jerk in wyoming Gender: Female
lefty wrote:
malice wrote:
Go_State wrote:
If they could reach inside a woman's rectum and palpate her ovaries, they might be able to be more accurate with their date of conception. Something makes me think women wouldn't be for this.
I don't think you can get to the ovaries via the rectum, babe...
Post subject: Re: Once in a lifetime chance to be a asshole
Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 6:03 pm
Unthought Known
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 4:52 pm Posts: 6822 Location: NY Gender: Male
malice wrote:
Go_State wrote:
If they could reach inside a woman's rectum and palpate her ovaries, they might be able to be more accurate with their date of conception. Something makes me think women wouldn't be for this.
I don't think you can get to the ovaries via the rectum, babe...
Yeah, but you can palpate them through the walls of the rectum. Well, at least in horses and cows.
Post subject: Re: Once in a lifetime chance to be a asshole
Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 6:05 pm
The Maleficent
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 11:17 pm Posts: 13551 Location: is a jerk in wyoming Gender: Female
Go_State wrote:
malice wrote:
Go_State wrote:
If they could reach inside a woman's rectum and palpate her ovaries, they might be able to be more accurate with their date of conception. Something makes me think women wouldn't be for this.
I don't think you can get to the ovaries via the rectum, babe...
Yeah, but you can palpate them through the walls of the rectum. Well, at least in horses and cows.
Post subject: Re: Once in a lifetime chance to be a asshole
Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 6:13 pm
Supersonic
Joined: Tue Apr 19, 2005 12:41 am Posts: 14208 Location: Lexington, KY Gender: Male
malice wrote:
lefty wrote:
malice wrote:
Go_State wrote:
If they could reach inside a woman's rectum and palpate her ovaries, they might be able to be more accurate with their date of conception. Something makes me think women wouldn't be for this.
I don't think you can get to the ovaries via the rectum, babe...
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I don't think you can get to the ovaries via the rectum, babe...