Like so many couples, my wife and family don't get along. Mostly, my wife is in the right, and my mom is kind of a pain. So she's been hounding us about what we're up to for Thanksgiving, over and over and over. She finally visits and puts the "come home" guilt trip on.

What follows is the end of that conversation, verbatim. I can assure you that there are no inaccuracies, as I may never forget this moment no matter what I do.


Mom: You need to be with family on Thanksgiving.
Wife: We are a family.
Mom: But what will you do for supper?
Wife: Well, I'm hoping to have a taste of a nice, big sausage...and then we'll think about supper.
(uncomfortable pause)
Wife: I'm talking about cock!


Needless to say, the conversation ended and we will have no more discussions about Thanksgiving to worry about.

Wow. Yes she is.

so THAT's why your wife emailed me to come over for thanksgiving

will this be buffet style?

hahahahahahahahahaha

Does she have a sister?

haha that was smooth as silk.

The advantage of marrying an older woman.

is mom available?

srsly

Hey, babe. Wanna get married?

to you or in general?

I think that's a no either way.

To me. I need an older woman who'll toss me around in the sack and give me a good kick to the nuts if I don't do what she wants.

can I tell your mom :

There's no other way to go, my man.

I'm still on the floor about how stellar that line was.

I'd love you till the day you die if you were bold enough to say that to my mother.