i'll just post the top 10; click the link for the rest:

http://www.tiricosuave.com/2008/03/05/2 ... ock-draft/

1. Miami Dolphins - Forrest Gump. KR. (Forrest Gump).

Bill Parcells would prefer to go with a defensive player here, but can’t resist a player who scores nearly every time he touches the ball. Concerns over Gumps intelligence were allayed when Gump scored a 9 on his Wunderlic test, 2 points higher than Vince Young.

2. St. Louis Rams - Charles Jefferson. DE. (Fast Times At Ridgemont High).

The Rams drafted DT Adam Carriker last year and continue to improve their line by drafting Jefferson. The Rams will also be hiring Jeff Spicoli to trash Jefferson’s new Escalade and blame it on the Seahawks.

3. Atlanta Falcons - Ronnie “Sunshine” Bass. QB. (Remember The Titans).

After a terrible season under immobile QBs, Joey Harrington and Byron Leftwich, the Falcons draft a more mobile quarterback. Arthur Blank hopes Bass’s long, dreamy, glowing locks make Falcons’ fans forget about their last franchise QB.

4. Oakland Raiders - Lucy Draper. K. (Necessary Roughness)

Sebastian Janikowski is 30 years old and was ineffective last year hitting only 23 of his 32 field goal attempts. Drafting Draper means an end to Seabass’s tenure in Oaktown, and though they will theoretically never be teammates, if we were Draper we wouldn’t leave our drinks unattended for the few practices just to be safe.

5. Kansas City Chiefs - Billy Bob. OL. (Varsity Blues)

The Chiefs are very old along their offensive line and Billy Bob will help to inject some youth into the unit. Though, Kansas City may want to check into rumors that Billy Bob has lost 500 or so pounds since he last played.

6. New York Jets - Al Bundy. RB. (Married With Children).

The Jets filled their needs at DT and OG through free agency and trades, so here they get running back to team with Thomas Jones. Though Bundy never played college football, the memory of his mythical four TD performance rocketed him up the Jets board.

7. New England Patriots - Steve Lattimer. LB. (The Program)

Lattimer dominated in his senior season at ESU and New England seems to be getting a steal here. The Patriots plan on using him as a linebacker in their 3-4. He immediately moves into the empty locker next to Rodney Harrison’s.

8. Baltimore Ravens - Rico Dynamite. QB. (Napolean Dynamite).

The Ravens haven’t learned from the past and again are targeting a QB based more on upside than results. Following Dynamite’s performance at his pro day, where at one point, he was rumored to have thrown a football over a mountain range, the Ravens were sold.

9. Cincinatti Bengals - Ricky Baker. RB. (Boyz N The Hood).

Though Baker has had somewhat of a checkered past (poor test scores, a brother in a gang, a child born out of wedlock), the Bengals were nonetheless intrigued by his talent. He will battle Kenny Watson and Rudi Johnson for the starting job.

10. New Orleans Saints - Bobby Boucher. LB. (The Waterboy).

With the Saints having problems last season getting to the quarterback and with the water supply of New Orleans still in dire need of replenishment from Hurricane Katrina, local product Boucher makes perfect sense.

glad to see you put someone from the Texas State Armadillos in there. gotta rep my alma mater yo!

If the Dolphins pass on Al Bundy then they can go fuck themselves

Sunshine? ugh...

I'd take Jimmy Dix, Helen Hunt, Cap Rooney, Johnny Utah/Shane Falco, Mox, Lance Harbor, and David Greene over that guy any day.

they could shore up the defensive line with the fat guy from Wildcats.

24. Tennessee Titans - Air Bud. WR. (Air Bud, Golden Retriever).

I have to admit, I’ve never seen any of the Air Bud movies, but from what I understand, it’s about a dog that catches footballs in it’s mouth. He has to be better than Roydell Williams, Justin Gage or Brandon Jones. He also scored two points higher on the Wonderlic than Vince Young.

there's actually quite a few names left out.

by the way, this reminded me of:

Why the hell wouldn't the Dolphins take Dan Marino?

Yeah, the Titans should have taken Uncle Rico.

you didn't read where pros in the movies arent eligible

Meh, still don't care.

come on man, its AL BUNDY!!!

FOUR touchdowns in one game

Fuck that. Alvin Mack was the shit.. and a multi sport star.

Ill Take him and Omar Epps, who played Basketball, Baseball AND football.

I'd take Grady from The Longest Yard.

23. Pittsburgh Steelers - Andre Krimm. DT. (Necessary Roughness).
Krimm will hold up blockers and teach the Steelers about astronomy as well. What will franchise QB Ben Roethlisberger think about the pick? I don’t know, do meatheads find Sinbad funny? Wait, does anyone find Sinbad funny?

i wasn't aware that ben was a meathead.

yeah, where the fuck is rod tidwell? he's got an oscar!