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 Post subject: No New Shoes Blues
PostPosted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 7:10 am 
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Stone's Bitch
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Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 2:29 pm
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No New Shoe Blues

careful! i plead
too late, though
freely, i'd bleed
too late now.
the suture kit's too late
no future, its my fate
sure, it rhymes,
but that doesnt make it pretty..

the only reason im not dead right now
is because if you step in it
you'll ruin your shoes
and i dont want that.

nobody's buying new shoes
'cause i was irresponsible,
incomprehensible,
or just plain not sensible.

ruined carpet, red tracks
and undeserved guilt attacks.
my selfish desire retracts.
............................
im glad we had this talk.

_________________
i am NOT montel williams

:peace: frank


Last edited by Play C3 on Thu Dec 04, 2008 7:29 pm, edited 4 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: i was really close....
PostPosted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 10:59 am 
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Play C3 wrote:
the only reason im not dead right now
is because if you step in it
you'll ruin your shoes
and i dont want that

This hit me like a brick to the head. I love how powerful these lines are, and how bluntly and directly they're delivered. I love the cynicism and the way it makes me wince. Good job.

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Evil, evil spoiler children. Thrash, thrash, thraaaash.


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 Post subject: Re: i was really close....
PostPosted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 5:46 am 
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Stone's Bitch
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Location: if anyone wants me, i'll be in my room
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thanks for that. i really appreciate the feedback.

im glad we had this talk.

_________________
i am NOT montel williams

:peace: frank


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 Post subject: Re: i was really close....
PostPosted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 3:40 am 
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Stone's Bitch
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Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 2:29 pm
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Location: if anyone wants me, i'll be in my room
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i edited this a little bit. not really any major changes, but i think its a little smoother. still might alter the beginning.

_________________
i am NOT montel williams

:peace: frank


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 Post subject: Re: i was really close....
PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 5:17 am 
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trying to make a career out of postwhoring
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Location: In Missouri, they would (will) not let me be
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skunkthecat wrote:
Play C3 wrote:
the only reason im not dead right now
is because if you step in it
you'll ruin your shoes
and i dont want that

This hit me like a brick to the head. I love how powerful these lines are, and how bluntly and directly they're delivered. I love the cynicism and the way it makes me wince. Good job.

I have to agree. Those lines are powerful.

_________________
Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose
Nothin' ain't worth nothin', but it's free


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