Here is the deal:

From November 2006 to February 2007 I was dating this girl. Thing is, we had very little in common. She was 5-6 years younger than me and we were from completely different backgrounds. Now, the main things that worked in the relationship were sex and music, but really just sex. We had a lot of sex. Towards the end of the 'relationship' she was spending almost every night with me. I knew from the start that she was going to be leaving in Feb to go abroad for 5 months (she was in community college) so to me that was a logical time for the relationship to end. If it wasn't for the fact that I knew she was going abroad I probably would have ended it a month earlier...I usually make 1-2 months with people and lose my ability to tolerate them. I've had probably 5 relationships in my life that have lasted 1-3 months and 1 that lasted 3 years. Anyway, she goes away, crying. We barely keep up while she is gone and she pretty much gets the hint that there was nothing really serious going on.

When she gets back she wants to meet for lunch. We meet...I'm pretty cold...and that's the end of it. She told me she didn't sleep with anyone while she was gone and I didn't discuss my personal life. This was June.

This morning I got an email from her that simply said "How are you?" I assume my birthday triggered the email but she didn't wish me happy birthday.

I wrote back basically saying 'I'm fine, how are you?'

Here are the issues: Last I saw her, she was flat broke. And I definitely think part of my allure to her was money, but I never bought her anything (besides meals) and she never talked about wanting gifts or anything...but she is broke. When she came back she complained about having to get a $10 an hour job. I have nothing wrong with people who are broke...but it's a factor that should be considered in how far I take this thing...

We had the best sex of my life. It was carefree and often. Very often.

She really annoyed me after time and again - nothing in common. But a nice person.

Oh, and as we know from the previous thread, its been ~4 months since the last time I've had sex and my prospects are weak since my former doorwoman rejected me

So, what do I do? It's not so obvious...don't just say sleep with her...I don't like dealing with breakups and I don't lead girls on...she knew what the situation was before, even if she might have wanted it to be different.

sleep w/ her

fuck her sister

and stop telling everyone that you don't like leading girls on, because from what I can tell, this is your basic mode of operation.
you want sex and that's it.

Try a prostitute, at least she knows what the deal is.

i don't think so. if you like her, hang out with her.

and hookers are probably cheaper

oh malice stay out of my girl threads...for everyones good

also, as usual, you pay no attention to what the girl does/wants in these 'relationships'? my former doorwoman was using me for drinks and food. this girl, to an extent, also did. where exactly is the harm?

cant people appreciate each others companionship and not be in love and not want to spend the rest of their lives together?

well, considering that all the dude wants is sex, and he talks loads about how all these girls use him for money, I'm gonna go ahead and guess he spends money on them with the intention of getting sex later on, which whatever, I guess, but It's pretty stupid of him to say he thinks money is a factor when he then goes on to say she never asked him for money or whatever.

Doesn't seem like she's the one looking for him to spend money on her, it looks like he thinks this is how he gets women to fuck him.

i dated a girl in the fall that after 6 weeks fell in love with me...i mean talked about where we would raise our kids, etc. she was super cool. before me she was with a guy for 5 years that lead or on the entire time before breaking her heart. i could have easily stayed with this girl for a year plus...she was great. but i broke up with her after 6 weeks because i knew there was no chance i was ever going to marry her. im not against marriage at all...just knew it wasn't going to happen with us and didnt want to put her through another situation like her past.

most guys would not do that. but i dont need to defend myself to you.

I would LOVE to see a world where "people appreciate each others companionship and not be in love and not want to spend the rest of their lives together" (forgive the horrendous grammar, it's a direct quote, fuck off) but let's be honest, it's never going to happen. Girls for the most part are whingey clingy bitches that want babies. Learn to deal, or go gay.

And I don't think she was just in it for the money...I mean if she left in tears then she probably did have hopes for the future. Going back just for sex is going to fuck with her head, and you of all people should know how irritating that is.

I agree with Malice. Get a prozzer. No fuss, no muss. 'Cept maybe the STIs...

sure thing, just tell her up front- look, I don't really want anything out of you other than a good fuck whenever I need it, but I'm happy to pay for your services by buying you dinners and drinks, and little gifts whenever the mood strikes me because that seems like an even trade to me.

And f-off, don't post about it if you don't want responses.

i will not be responding to you anymore...waste of my time.

you're a young guy with money living here in NYC..finding people to sleep with without any commitment is like shooting fish in a barrel

You just can't stand to deal with the truth, which is fine with me, it doesn't change anything and it makes you out to be as big a dick as you seem to think I am.

you are right...i dont want to hurt her. but i dont know what she wants? maybe she wants companionship too? she is an adult...why should i decide preemptively that it's best not to hurt her and thus let her be? shouldn't she be able to make that choice? she knows after she came back i gave her the cold shoulder and haven't contacted her in what is now 9 months...i'm sure she realizes that if i wanted a relationship with her i'd contact her...

should he also tell her that he likes her and being in her company? i suppose that would be a deal breaker? of course he wouldn't be buying her anything because he wants to, only because he wants something, right?

Maybe stop overthinking things and posting about them on internet forums, and get out and meet real people that are interested in the same things as you, and would LIKE to shag you...

i dont live in nyc anymore...and the 5 years i was there i got laid very very infrequently. it was hard meeting new people.

whats funny is most of the time i go on 1 or 2 dates and it ends...i dont go out looking to meet girls for sex. im looking for a relationship. ive just basically given up on that for now...it seems impossible.

back to the internet forum stuff...i do this for fun. thank you for life advice though. i never thought about meeting 'real people' before you suggested it. i think i'll go join the YMCA after work.