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 Post subject: Apocalypse now: 30 days the world didn't end.
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 7:31 am 
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I found this article comforting and festive. Good apocalypse mindset for tomorrow. Also if the world doesn't end tomorrow you can crucify me, but you might not be that into it.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/commen ... =24&page=1

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Apocalypse now? 30 days when the world didn't end
Will the LHC cause the world to end? Here are some other occasions when reports of the Earth's demise have proven to be premature..

The beginning of the first serious experiments using CERN’s Large Hadron Collider this week has given rise to a welter of fanciful scare stories about the obliteration of the Earth by a pocket black hole or a cascade reaction of exotic particles. Similar predictions have been made around the launch of several other particle physics experiments and even the first atomic weapons tests.

Predictions of the world’s end are nothing new though. We’ve picked out 30 of the most memorable apocalypses that never, for one reason or another, quite happened.

1: 2,800BC: The oldest surviving prediction of the world’s imminent demise was found inscribed upon an Assyrian clay tablet which stated: "Our earth is degenerate in these latter days. There are signs that the world is speedily coming to an end. Bribery and corruption are common." Wherever more than two people over 30 are gathered together, expect to hear remarkably similar sentiments.

2: 1st century AD: In Matthew 16:28 the following interesting quotation is ascribed to Jesus: "Verily I say unto you, there be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom." The clear implication is that the final judgement would occur within the lifetimes of those present. The Book of Revelation too rather suggests an imminent rather than distant date for the last trump. "Behold I come quickly, and my reward is with me to reward every man according to his work." (Revelation: 22:12) These statements are the wellspring of more than 2,000 years of millennial Christian cults, as we will see below.

3: 2nd century AD: The Montanists, founded in around 155 AD by a chap called Montanus, were perhaps the first recognisable Christian "end of the world" cult. They believed that Christ’s triumphant return was imminent and established a base in Anatolia, central Turkey where they waited for doomsday. Montanus was an immensely charismatic leader, given to speaking in tongues, and despite the failure of all his prophecies, his sect endured for hundreds of years after his death. Tertullian, an early Christian thinker who coined terms like the Trinity, and the Old and New Testaments, became a devotee of Montanism in later life.

4: Mar 25, 970 AD. The Lotharingian computists believed they had found evidence in the Bible that a conjunction of certain feast days prefigured the end times. They were just one of a wide scattering of millennial cults springing up in advance of that first Millennium. The abbot of Saint-Benoit of Fleury-sur-Loire sent a letter to his king complaining about the Lotharingians: “For a rumour had filled almost the entire world that when the Annunciation fell on Good Friday, without any question, it would be the End of the World.” The millennial panic endured for at least 30 years after the fateful date had come and gone, with some adjustment made to allow 1,000 years after the crucifixion, rather than the nativity.

5: 1284: Pope Innocent III predicted the Second Coming for this year. He based his prediction on the date of the inception of the Muslim faith, and then added 666 years to that.

6: Botticelli’s Mystical Nativity: To this painting, which hangs in the National Gallery in London, Botticelli added a Greek inscription which characterised the early 1500s as a pre-apocalyptic period known as the Tribulation and anticipated a Second Coming in or around the year 1504.

7: Feb 1, 1524. Panicked by predictions made by a group of London astrologers, some 20,000 people abandoned their homes and fled to high ground in anticipation of a second Great Flood that was predicted to start from the Thames. Proving that this was not just the error of a London-centric media, the German astrologer Johannes Stoeffler then made a similar prediction for later in the same month.

8: 1648: Having made close study of the kabbalah, theTurkish rabbi Sabbatai Zevi predicted that the Messiah would make a miraculous return in 1648, and that his name would be Sabbatai Zevi. With 1648 having come and gone without any appreciable apocalypse Sabbatai revised his estimate to…

9: 1666: A year packed with apocalyptic portent. With a date containing the figures commonly accepted as the biblical Number of the Beast and following a protracted period of plague in England, it was little surprise that many should believe the Great Fire of London to be a herald of the Last Days.

10: 1794. Charles Wesley, the founder of Methodism, believed that the world would come to an end in this year, thus concurring with the Shakers who also anticipated a final reckoning.

11: Dec 25, 1814: In Devon, a self-styled prophet named Joanna Southcott averred that she was the expectant mother of a new Christ-child to which she would give birth on Christmas Day 1814. That she was a virgin and well over 60 did not appear to weaken her faith that this would come to pass. She was at least correct that something momentous would occur on the fateful date: she died. Despite this disappointment, a large cult continued to believe in Southcott and, as late as 1927, a sealed box said to contain an important message left by Joanna was opened in the presence of the Bishop of Grantham. It contained a lottery ticket.

12: 1836. Notwithstanding his brother's erroneous estimate, the Methodist leader John Wesley expected the End Times to commence in 1836, with the appearance of the Great Beast of Revelation.

13: Aug 7, 1847. The leader of a small, largely forgotten German religious cult called the Harmonists, "Father" George Rapp was convinced that Jesus would return before his death. To his credit his faith in this event was unshakeable right up to the end of his life: "If I did not know that the dear Lord meant I should present you all to him, I should think my last moment come," he said. Only the latter assumption proved to be true.

14: 1874 : Memorable for being the first of a long line of dates posited for the End of the World by the Jehovah's Witnesses.

15: 1881 : Another estimated apocalypse by the Jehovah’s Witnesses, and also by pyramidologists who used the peculiar geometry of the Great Pyramid to extrapolate various world events using a form of numerology. The renowned 16th century seer Mother Shipton was also said to have predicted: “The world to an end shall com, in eighteen hundred and eighty one” That this verse was subsequently proven to be fraudulent did not deter the credulous few from engaging in the now fully-fledged custom known as millennial panic.

16: May 18, 1910: Despite a number of previous documented appearances having caused no deaths, the 1910 return of Halley’s Comet was widely perceived as a threat to mankind – allegedly due to noxious vapours emanating from its tail. This may be the first apocalyptic panic founded on a scientific, rather than religious misapprehension. Interestingly, the American author Mark Twain who was born in 1835 – another Halley’s Comet year – and correctly predicted that his own death in 1910 would coincide with the dirty snowball’s return.

17: Dec 17, 1919. Albert Porta, a meteorologist, averred that a rare conjunction of planets would create a powerful gravitational or magnetic flux drawing draw a giant solar flare out toward the Earth, incinerating the atmosphere. Some credulous souls, on hearing this, apparently chose suicide rather than be killed. Which is rather odd once you think about it. Another failure for the scientific method.

18: 1967 : A banner year for apocalypse: Jim Jones, Sun Myung Moon, and UFO advocate Georg von Tassel all independently arrived at the conclusion that the Summer of Love would be the end of us all.

19: Apr 29, 1980. Leland Jensen, leader of a splinter group from the minority Bahá'í faith, announced that this day would see a nuclear exchange between the superpowers resulting in the deaths of millions. In fact 1979 and 1983 would have been the two most likely years for this to have happened, with nuclear strikes averted by sheer fluke on both occasions. Finding himself alive on April 30, the prophet fell back on the traditional "This is [only the] start of the Tribulation" excuse.

20: Mar 10, 1982. In a near repeat of the erroneous 1919 prophecy, a popular "science" book, The Jupiter Effect, expostulated that a planetary conjunction would cause earthquakes, or a solar flare, or both. In fact, the only appreciable effect of the gravitational pull of all the planets combined was a possible higher tide measured in some places – peaking 0.04mm above average. Two years earlier, the televangelist Pat Robertson had also predicted this, saying: "I guarantee you by the end of 1982 there is going to be a judgment on the world".

21: Apr 29, 1987: The irrepressible doom-monger Leland Jensen was back with more portents of extinction, this time as a result of a collision between the Earth and that old favourite Halley’s Comet.

22: 1988: Another rash of predictions nominated this year as our last, chiefly influenced by best-selling 1970 book The Late, Great Planet Earth, which interpreted a passage from the book of Matthew as indicating the return of Christ within 40 years of the founding of the state of Israel.

23: Sep 28, 1992: "Rockin" Rollen Stewart, an eccentric evangelist who started the craze for holding up signs representing bible verses at public events [John 3:16 was the most popular of these] was certain that The Rapture would occur on this day. He went on to instigate a campaign of stink-bombing churches and other religiously inspired acts of madness, which culminated with his imprisonment for kidnapping.

24: March – May 1997: The year of the comet Hale-Bopp gave rise to a welter of "end of the world" theories all based on a mistaken observation by amateur astronomer Chuck Shramek. When his assertion that the comet was being trailed by a companion object found its way onto Usenet message boards, it was magnified by the full power of the then-young internet into a worldwide hullabaloo. Another contributory factor was the suggestion that the Solar System was about to pass through a mysterious and entirely imaginary region of space called the Photon Belt. The Heaven’s Gate cult seized on these combined rumours as their signal to commit mass suicide in March of this year. It was also the 6,000th anniversary of the Creation, as calculated by Bishop Ussher, leading to another wave of "Last Days" panic.

25: 12:01am, Mar 31, 1998. One of the more precise predictions of the Second Coming. Hon-Ming Chen, leader of the Taiwanese cult "The True Way" - claimed that God would announce his imminent return on every television in the USA at this moment, prior to an actual landing in his spacecraft. Chen had the good grace to admit his mistake and offer to be crucified when the deity failed to materialise, but no-one seemed enthusiastic.

26: 1999: Throughout 1998 and 1999 the predictions of Apocalypse came so thick and fast as to dwarf any previous doomsday craze. For Nostradamus, arguably the best-known seer of all time, July was the chosen date of Armageddon. No sooner was the July panic over when the rumour began to spread that the Cassini space probe would crash to Earth, spilling its radioactive fuel and fulfilling the prediction in Revelation 8:11 “And the name of the star is called Wormwood: and the third part of the waters became wormwood; and many men died of the waters, because they were made bitter.”

27: 2000: No less a luminary than Sir Isaac Newton believed that the year 2000 would see the events foretold in the Book of Revelation as detailed in his book Observations upon the Prophecies of Daniel, and the Apocalypse of St. John.

28: Feb 12, 2006: Clinton Ortiz claimed on his website that Prince William, whom he suggests is the Antichrist of Revelation, would come to power on this day. He also quotes William’s mother – Diana, Princess of Wales – as having said: "I believe Wills can rebuild Camelot and I will be his Merlin. Together we will return to the chivalry, pageantry, and the glory that was King Arthur's Court. William will remake the Monarchy by showing love, leadership, and compassion."

29: Friday 13th April 2007: An un-named punter placed a £10 best at 10,000/1 with Ladbrokes, the bookmakers, that the world would end on that day. It is unclear how he expected to collect.

30: Mar 21, 2008. A minor Christian sect The Lords' Witnesses announced this date for the end of days on their website, which is still online.

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 Post subject: Re: Apocalypse now: 30 days the world didn't end.
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 8:06 pm 
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end of times heh?


bring it on bitch!!

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 Post subject: Re: Apocalypse now: 30 days the world didn't end.
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 9:41 pm 
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fails for leaving off seventh-day adventists


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 Post subject: Re: Apocalypse now: 30 days the world didn't end.
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 9:57 pm 
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Anon wrote:
fails for leaving off seventh-day adventists


fails for not reading the list.

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 Post subject: Re: Apocalypse now: 30 days the world didn't end.
PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 5:44 am 
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i think one of the things i will say to my future children when i'm old an fatherly is, "never say the world is going to end. even if you know, keep it to yourself."

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 Post subject: Re: Apocalypse now: 30 days the world didn't end.
PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 5:48 am 
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2012 is a big date with a lot of people, have a pretty respectable friend who is convinced


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 Post subject: Re: Apocalypse now: 30 days the world didn't end.
PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 6:26 am 
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Dev wrote:
2012 is a big date with a lot of people, have a pretty respectable friend who is convinced


Still doesn't add up to Y2K's big moment. Not even close - at least not yet.


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 Post subject: Re: Apocalypse now: 30 days the world didn't end.
PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 6:27 am 
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Orpheus wrote:
Anon wrote:
fails for leaving off seventh-day adventists


fails for not reading the list.


lol which one was Seventh Day? I can't remember the names offhand.

Also, speaking of 2000 - we can't forget the 'Y2K bug' madness that went along with that year, like I mentioned in the previous post it's worse than this whole Mayan calendar thing.


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 Post subject: Re: Apocalypse now: 30 days the world didn't end.
PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 8:09 am 
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Anon wrote:
Orpheus wrote:
Anon wrote:
fails for leaving off seventh-day adventists


fails for not reading the list.


lol which one was Seventh Day? I can't remember the names offhand.

Also, speaking of 2000 - we can't forget the 'Y2K bug' madness that went along with that year, like I mentioned in the previous post it's worse than this whole Mayan calendar thing.


no one forgot it, it was also on the list :?

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 Post subject: Re: Apocalypse now: 30 days the world didn't end.
PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 12:15 pm 
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That giant atom smasher started working yesterday and THAT didn't kill us either.

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 Post subject: Re: Apocalypse now: 30 days the world didn't end.
PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 2:20 pm 
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B wrote:
That giant atom smasher started working yesterday and THAT didn't kill us either.


good thing too, I'd have wasted a couple hours watching the show about it on the History channel the other night if it did.

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 Post subject: Re: Apocalypse now: 30 days the world didn't end.
PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 2:28 pm 
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there is no second coming and there is no apocalypse. there is no higher being who will one day destroy everything. kthnx bye

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 Post subject: Re: Apocalypse now: 30 days the world didn't end.
PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 12:30 am 
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B wrote:
That giant atom smasher started working yesterday and THAT didn't kill us either.

It takes a few weks to warm up. DUH.

:roll:

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 Post subject: Re: Apocalypse now: 30 days the world didn't end.
PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 8:25 am 
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I’m always confused about the whole idea of an apocalypse. This feeling that the time we are in is such a dark, amoral, and morose time that God or whoever the fuck people think it is, will be would be better off just taking a wrecking ball this fucked up world, does not make sense to me. You’re telling me that the world trade center attack, the war in Iraq, the awful shit going on in Africa, is worse than the Crusades. There is no way in hell it is. Hell, we are not even talking about the Christians that were killed in the Roman Coliseum. That's jsut the start though, one of the saddest, bloodiest moments in history is the massive, brutal killings undertaken by the Teutonic Knights who killed off the last pagan kingdom in Europe. And I’m not even talking about the great plague and how the pope not only condoned the killing of Jews but even proposed the idea of killing Jews. And to think it was done just so blame could be taken away from ‘god’ and deflected somewhere else. Come on, we’ve already gone through a handful of Apocalypse’s, at least. We’re doing pretty damn well. We still have a ways to go but we’re heading in the right direction. Hell, Tom Brady is out for at least a year.

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 Post subject: Re: Apocalypse now: 30 days the world didn't end.
PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 10:10 am 
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windedsailor wrote:
Anon wrote:
Orpheus wrote:
Anon wrote:
fails for leaving off seventh-day adventists


fails for not reading the list.


lol which one was Seventh Day? I can't remember the names offhand.

Also, speaking of 2000 - we can't forget the 'Y2K bug' madness that went along with that year, like I mentioned in the previous post it's worse than this whole Mayan calendar thing.


no one forgot it, it was also on the list :?


The Y2K bug in specific, not just Newton's prediction of 2000. :P

Also this, in 1844: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Disappointment

Apparently the Seventh Day Adventists resolved this "problem" by their own method, which is how they sprung up. I thought they had an imminent end-times date. Apparently not, but according to the Bible commentary I have "a wave of excitement" swept mainstream Christianity and thousands left the various denominations to follow Miller, who they thought was correct by using Daniel 8:14 to keep predicting an end-times date in March 21, 1844. The Seventh-Day Adventists insist he was right after all, and that Christ began the Judgment on that day, and the Tribulation will come "like a thief in the night" whenever Jesus catches up reading the books of all the dead folks.


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 Post subject: Re: Apocalypse now: 30 days the world didn't end.
PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 11:24 am 
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who is to say the world didn't end & we are all in hell.

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08/30/2000, 4/30/2003, 7/2/2003, 7/3/2003, 7/8/2003, 7/9/2003, 7/11/2003, 7/12/2003, 9/28/2004, 9/29/2004, 9/15/2005, 9/16/2005, 5/12/2006, 5/13/2006, 6/28/2008, 6/30/2008, 5/17/2010, 9/12/2012


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 Post subject: Re: Apocalypse now: 30 days the world didn't end.
PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 11:33 am 
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fitzy wrote:
who is to say the world didn't end & we are all in hell.

I knew this thread would have a shocking twist.

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 Post subject: Re: Apocalypse now: 30 days the world didn't end.
PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 11:35 am 
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bart d. wrote:
fitzy wrote:
who is to say the world didn't end & we are all in hell.

I knew this thread would have a shocking twist.


how else can you explain fall out boy, disaster movie, and sarah palin?

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08/30/2000, 4/30/2003, 7/2/2003, 7/3/2003, 7/8/2003, 7/9/2003, 7/11/2003, 7/12/2003, 9/28/2004, 9/29/2004, 9/15/2005, 9/16/2005, 5/12/2006, 5/13/2006, 6/28/2008, 6/30/2008, 5/17/2010, 9/12/2012


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 Post subject: Re: Apocalypse now: 30 days the world didn't end.
PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 11:40 am 
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fitzy wrote:
bart d. wrote:
fitzy wrote:
who is to say the world didn't end & we are all in hell.

I knew this thread would have a shocking twist.


how else can you explain fall out boy, disaster movie, and sarah palin?

When there's no more room in hell, emo fags, shitty movies and wacko governors will walk the earth.

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 Post subject: Re: Apocalypse now: 30 days the world didn't end.
PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 11:45 am 
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bart d. wrote:
fitzy wrote:
bart d. wrote:
fitzy wrote:
who is to say the world didn't end & we are all in hell.

I knew this thread would have a shocking twist.


how else can you explain fall out boy, disaster movie, and sarah palin?

When there's no more room in hell, emo fags, shitty movies and wacko governors will walk the earth.


:bammer:

a good Romero ding to save the thread

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08/30/2000, 4/30/2003, 7/2/2003, 7/3/2003, 7/8/2003, 7/9/2003, 7/11/2003, 7/12/2003, 9/28/2004, 9/29/2004, 9/15/2005, 9/16/2005, 5/12/2006, 5/13/2006, 6/28/2008, 6/30/2008, 5/17/2010, 9/12/2012


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