Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2004 5:24 am Posts: 37009 Location: In Missouri, they would (will) not let me be Gender: Female
Something about your eyes The way they shine Something about your body The way it presses against mine It all feels so right It all feels a little too good Sure not going to last And I have learned If I got something good it’s gonna end soon
Something about your words The way they thrill me Something about your promises We never get to see It all was a little too much Blinded by the rush And I have learned If I got something good it’s gonna end soon
It brought me to my knees And it brought you to your feet I was going straight and you u-turned I can’t say I know what you feel, but I sit here and yearn If there has ever been one thing that I can teach It’s don’t give your heart to a man with too many words I allowed him to reach He buried inside and somehow I didn’t mind But now you’re gone I got a big empty hole and nothing to show I got a big empty hole and you’re a friend in this world I have so many friends I need you to be more…
Something about your eyes The way they shine Something about your body The way it presses against mine It all feels so right It all feels a little too good Sure not going to last And I have learned If I got something good it’s gonna end soon
And I have so many friends I need you to be more...
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 8:14 pm Posts: 15317 Location: Concord, NC Gender: Male
SmilinSkullRing wrote:
Thanks guys. Hopefully it means you like it.
yeah. like i said, powerful stuff. obviously it's something that's had a profound effect on you. its good that you can express yourself this way.. it takes some guts to share personal works with people.
_________________ 255 characters are nowhere near enough
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 2:29 pm Posts: 6984 Location: if anyone wants me, i'll be in my room Gender: Male
SmilinSkullRing wrote:
Sometimes I'll rhyme through the whole thing, but I've learned that doesn't need to be done. But thanks for the comments.
im glad you didnt force too much rhyming on this one. it doesnt need it. it feels more sincere this way.
the recurring lines were my favorite, but they already were before i reached the point where they came up again. so the fact that they did appear again was like revisiting a pre-existing comfort zone. then again, this poem is about the discomfort that comes with missing someone (or prematurely missing someone, or being afraid to commit because youre afraid of another heartbreak). basically, the lyrics were powerful the first time, and they are just as powerful (or even more so) the second time around.
talking about these, by the way...
Quote:
Something about your eyes The way they shine Something about your body The way it presses again mine It all feels so right It all feels a little too good Sure not going to last And I have learned If I got something good it’s gonna end soon
And I have so many friends I need you to be more...
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 2:29 pm Posts: 6984 Location: if anyone wants me, i'll be in my room Gender: Male
upon revisting, i really feel a straining sort of desperation here..
Quote:
I got a big empty hole and you’re a friend in this world I have so many friends I need you to be more…
the 'i have so many friends' is what does it. ive been studying all day, so i cant articulate what i mean now but because of this line, the line that follows seems to present that desperation i mentioned. to related it to something we both know...
Pearl Jam wrote:
please, please, pleeeaase... dont go on me
though in a different context.
edit: i just read my post and it sounds ambiguous as to whether i mean this suff in a positive way (which i do )
Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2004 5:24 am Posts: 37009 Location: In Missouri, they would (will) not let me be Gender: Female
Thanks a bunch. Really good reading into that. And comparing to PJ. Nice. It's a desperate clinging to something that is no more, but which one (oh hell, me) wants to be like it was before.
_________________ Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose Nothin' ain't worth nothin', but it's free
With permission I used some of these lyrics for a song....it's came out just ok...the mix sucks but it was fun:
Hear it here:
Track #4
Lyrics used:
Something about your eyes The way they shine Something about your body The way it presses again mine It all feels so right It all feels a little too good Sure not going to last And I have learned If I got something good it’s gonna end soon
I got a big empty hole and nothing to show I got a big empty hole and you’re a friend in this world I have so many friends I need you to be more…
Last edited by badabing on Sun Jul 19, 2009 1:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Listening to it I def went overboard with the effects. On my 8 track with headphones it sounded great but somewhere during the conversion off the 8 track to mp3 it kinda all jumbled together. I don't normally use so many effects but I was screwing around with a bunch of pre sets and stuff....I don't think I consider the song a success but it was a fun process. Your lyrics are def the best part...
Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2004 5:24 am Posts: 37009 Location: In Missouri, they would (will) not let me be Gender: Female
Yeah, I was going to say that. I like the atmosphere of the song, but the effects went a little overboard. Especially so, where your voice seems drowned out.
And my lyrics are the best part? Thanks.
_________________ Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose Nothin' ain't worth nothin', but it's free
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 2:29 pm Posts: 6984 Location: if anyone wants me, i'll be in my room Gender: Male
i like the song... its so cool to have just been fawning over these words last week, and now theyre a song. definitely not how i would have imagined it, but i like it. the first thing im reminded of is the album loveless by my bloody valentine, mainly because the atmosphere takes front and center while the singing seems like its coming from far away. i'd definitely like to hear more out of both of you.
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