All Streams Flow Into The Sea

This is the beginning of a story I'm working on. I'd love some feedback. Also if there's anyone with experience in cocaine use, I'd love to talk to you for research purposes. Thanks!

I turn away from the lectern, my hands foraging past the folds of the chasuble and the alb to reach the Kleenex crammed into my pockets. I can only pray that no one noticed the slivers of blood at the tips of my fingers, where I chewed my fingernails till they bled. I never should have answered my phone; I wasn’t supposed to preside over a mass till tomorrow morning, long after I’d had a chance to come down and recover. Saturday was my day of rest. But I was so carefree, I would have agreed to anything. I was strong. I was assured. I could single-handedly defend the Kingdom of God. I could certainly fill in for Father Malone, out again with a bad hip, unable to walk. Sure, I’d love to cover the 6 PM for him. No, I’m not at the rectory right now, but I can certainly be back in time.

I shouldn’t be here right now. This shouldn’t be happening.

I sit back behind the altar, extending the traditional pause before the creed as long as possible. I feel myself coming down again and wonder if I can sneak off under the pretence of needing a glass of water; if I could get one more line I could get through the end of the mass before the bottom drops out. The familiar headache begins to pulse within my skull, but there’s nothing I can do right now. I rise from my chair; the believers follow and repeat in time with me, adults from memory, children and the elderly looking on from their missals:

We believe in one God, the father almighty, creator of heaven and earth,
Of all that is seen and unseen.

If I can just get through the Eucharist, I’ll be fine. I can go home and sleep it off. I probably shouldn’t do any more anyway. I took another line the first time I felt myself coming down as I was leaving Scott’s house to get back to the rectory on time, and another two in the back bathroom right before Mass. The pastor thinks my sinus problems are from the fall pollen; I’ve yet to think of what to tell him when summer comes around.

I really dig the premise. Nice work so far

Thanks man. It definitely needs some work, but I'm pretty excited about it.

i like it man, when will there be some more?

When I finish my paper tonight. I realized that there's a real lack of description regarding the scene in the first part, so I want to beef that up and then move on to the next scene. Ultimately I'm planning it to be a three scene story.

P.S. Thanks dude! I thought I read that you're applying to a creative writing program? Is that you?

no, but i wish! i like to write, but i hardly ever do. i posted the beginnings of a short story in this forum a while back but i never returned to it. i was really looking forward to working on it at the time. its still around here somewhere... maybe ill look it up.

Hmm, not sure who I was thinking of though. Yeah, it's hard to find time to write; I've found you really just need to force yourself to do it, even if it involves getting up early, otherwise you'll just keep putting it off.

i normally do my best writing at nighttime.