So where have I been?

Living on my own since September 1st.

My son turned 1 today, fatherhood has gotten much better as he has grown.

I decided to take a break from drinking in 2009, 8 days and counting and I have no desire to drink at all. I was tired of feeling like shit when I had my son, at work, just being run down in general. I wasnt a daily drinker but I would go on these rippers where I would have 10 beers on a friday, 20 on saturday, lay around all day sunday then drink like 15 on monday then take 3 days to recover. I estimate that my overall health will improve, I will probably save myself about 10k by not drinking and will just be more productive at home and work. I'm actually going to run a 2 week body detox diet and then start working out again regularly. This wasn't a new years resolution at all, I started thinking about it in November and almost quit mid december and then decided to just do a drink free 09 and spend the year getting my shit together.

I can say that being winter time I am bored but never drank at home so thats not an issue. I have no urge to drink but the going out to bars part took up a lot of my free time.

Whats the word around these parts? Any big news that I missed? I hope all is well with most of you.

oh, forgot to mention that the wife and I were almost unable to talk for a long time and over the last month we have been getting along very well. I am actually getting the impression that she is starting to get feelings back for me which is very tempting and also confusing. As far as going out meeting people, I've been doing it but just get so easily put off. I have such a love/hate relationship with being "single"

Best of luck to you in 2009.

I liked it better when you told stories about hooking up with girls. I mean, good for you getting your life together, but I must say, it's way less interesting now.

and they fixed the vent

but in all seriousness

since you have decided to quit drinking, do you think that may have been part of the problem with mrs mac? seems to me that 10K a year (im assuming thats the timeline you mean) is alot to spend on drinking. and while you may have felt it was under control, perhaps it wasnt and was actually intensifying the problems you were having?

oops, shoulda logged into my T account huh?

good luck bud

It's only been 8 days. I wasn't posting because I was too busy out partying, I have plenty of stories which I'm sure I will share in time. I'm letting them marinate.

good luck dude...if you think 1 is aweome just wait until your boy is 2. it gets better every day.

It was definitely a problem with the marriage. We were in counseling and that was a big subject, she frequently bitched about me drinking. I think my problem with that was that I was actually drinking much less after we got married than I did throughout our relationship. I felt I made concessions and that she wasn't going to be pleased because I gave in on many things and we still fought more and more as time went on. She is the kind of person who wants everything her way and improving doesn't please her...she wants it her way and she wants it now. She wanted to control my life and having me not drink was just one part of it. One thing I can say to put it in perspective, if I had 1-2 beers I was not allowed to hold my son and she would get angry with me if I was around him if I drank at all. At the same time she allows her dad to play with the baby and hang out with him and her dad drinks pretty heavily every day.

Anyway, I stopped drinking for extended periods throughout the marriage and the relationship and that did not help things. It's an easy excuse and as much as she would love to blame drinking on our problems, it wasn't. It didn't help our situation at all but it wasn't even close to being our biggest issue.

The reason I stopped was not to please her, or anyone else. It's something I felt like I had to do for myself. I just felt I need a break. I guess it is very selfish but her asking me to stop drinking for her or for the marriage was something that is just ridiculous to me. I don't want to feel like someone has control over me like that. I could never be one of those pathetic guys who's wife runs their life and makes all the decisions for them. It works for some people but it would make me absolutely miserable.

james, appreciate the honesty there, but you didnt comment on the # 1 priority there


the VENT

the vent has been fixed and I am back to being a happy, non-freezing employee

No, you already told us that T wouldn't be coming back.

Wait was T really Peeps? for real?

No no no, T was ceebs.

you say that you "needed a break" from drinking. Does that mean you are going drink again in the future?

P.S.

I was just imagining my wife not letting me hold my child while my father in law could, I don't think i would be able to deal with that. Good luck.

Yeah, I felt like I started drinking more than usual, more than I wanted to since I moved out and lived on my own. I was pretty much drinking to kill time, when I got bored I would go to a bar. I think taking a year to sort of get myself in check and force me to find some enjoyment in some other things will help me to become a more responsible drinker in the future. Yes I plan on drinking after this year, I just don't want to rely on it for fun like I have done.

There wasn't any time where me and her dad were in the same place and we were both drinking and I wasnt allowed to have him and he was. More where in my house I was not allowed to "handle" or "take care" of him if I drank at all but if I would go over her parents to pick him or or hang out her dad would be playing with him drunk. That double standard really really pisses me off.

i agree james


double standards suck

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

dude wait til i come to philly, ill get ya back on the wagon

good luck jim, hope 2009 is a better year for you