interwebs quotes site. More often than not, brings the lulz. Good boredom killer.
samples:
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#118151 (15250/17266)
(+ware) I rear-ended a car this morning. So there we are alongside the road and (+ware) slowly the driver gets out of the car . . . and you know how you just get sooo (+ware) stressed and life seems to get funny? (+ware) Well, I could NOT believe it . . he was a DWARF! He storms over to my car, (+ware) looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!" (+ware) So, I look down at him and say, "Well, which one are you then?"... and (+ware) THAT'S when the fight started . .
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#203271 (1324/1668)
<Croc> Okay well I got this new girl home <Croc> One thing led to another and you know <Croc> well in the awkward moment after sex <Croc> but before anything else happened yet <Croc> I had the strangest impulse <Croc> I took some left over cum and smothered it on her forehead and said "Simba..."
Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2004 3:38 pm Posts: 20059 Gender: Male
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<Anonymous> Now, I’m sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little cunts that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it. <Anonymous> Okay, here’s the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the fucking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprickle of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cunt he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming “SHIT! SHIT!.” Now, my good friend, Tom we’ll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting “FUCK! MAYBE HE DIDN’T GET IT! FUCK!.” By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid. <Anonymous> Here’s the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, “Mam, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I’m… I’m FUCKING HIV POSITIVE.” <Anonymous> And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just fucked up big time because his mom isn’t defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just s we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cunt she is. <Anonymous> I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob.
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<third_planet> The other night my friend had some pot and wanted me to smoke it with him, but we had nowhere to smoke it because both our parents were home. <third-planet> So we drove around looking for a place to park so we could smoke in the car. <third-planet> We eventually settled on a Wendys parking lot.. <Mr-Butlertron> The logic is all there... <third-planet> I know, it was a ridiculous idea. We were just desperate and that was the first place to pull off.. <third-planet> So we park in the back of the parking lot under this tree, and it's dark out, so we figure we're secluded enough. We start to light up and a cop pulls in. So we both sit really still and hope the cop will think the car is empty and just parked there. Or that he won't notice. <third-planet> The cop circles the parking lot once, then parks behind us and we're both freaking out. So Bobby, my friend, takes all the pot and shoves it in the glove compartment. But the car smells like pot, so we figure we're busted. <third-planet> So Bobby says we've gotta distract the cop from the pot. In a huge flash, he rips his shirt off, undoes my pants and sticks his hand inside. Before I can process what's happening, the cop knocks on my window. Then he looks in and sees Bobby shirtless, with his hand down my pants and turns bright red. <third-planet> I roll my window down and the cop says in this really flustered voice, his face bright red, "you guys be good now" and walks quickly back to his car and drives off. <third-planet> He didn't even notice the smell of pot. <third-planet> We drove home in the most uncomfortable fucking silence ever.
_________________ stop light plays its part, so I would say you've got a part
* CHOzen1 has joined #wow <CHOzen1> i’m systematically stuffing grapenuts cereal into the head of my erect penis. i’m going to attempt to jack off, have my load mix with the grapenuts, and shoot a granola bar out when i cum * CHOzen1 has left #wow <+Sohcahtoa> What the FUCK!?
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#81171 (14436/18048)
Jenna says: I Jenna says: l Jenna says: o Jenna says: v Jenna says: e Jenna says: y David says: C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER! Jenna says: what the **** is your problem? Jenna says: why do you always do that?
Last edited by dyingonahilltop on Thu Jan 22, 2009 12:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
* CHOzen1 has joined #wow <CHOzen1> i’m systematically stuffing grapenuts cereal into the head of my erect penis. i’m going to attempt to jack off, have my load mix with the grapenuts, and shoot a granola bar out when i cum * CHOzen1 has left #wow <+Sohcahtoa> What the FUCK!?
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