Eleven years ago I was frustrated, angry and hurt over the disastrous state of my love life. After three divorces I was well over 40 years old and no closer to my dream of having a happy marriage than I was at 20.
How could a smart and talented woman be a success in her career, yet such a miserable failure at love? I was determined to change my destiny. I swore I would not exit this planet until I learned how to have a great marriage. It took many years, but I did find the solution. Turns out that my troubles were rooted in the mistaken beliefs I held about who I really was and what a happy marriage should look like.
I didn't have a clue that women like me (and maybe you, too!) need a different kind of man and a different kind of relationship to be happy. Lack of that knowledge could be the reason why you are not in a happy relationship today.
The Rules
1. The female always makes the rules.
2. The rules are subject to change at anytime without prior notification.
3. No male can possibly know all the rules.
4. If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
5. The female is never wrong.
6. If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.
7. If rule #6 applies, the male must apologize.
8. The female may change her mind at anytime.
9. The male must never change his mind without the expressed written consent of the female.
10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The female must, under no circumstance, let the male know whether or nt she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. The male is expected to mind read at all times.
14. If the female has P.M.S., all the rules are null and void.
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 11:36 pm Posts: 25824 Location: south jersey
i think its hysterial. i think alot of guys would agree with those rules. reminds me of something one of my bosses said, "as a man in a marriage, you are either right or you are happy"
_________________ Feel the path of every day,... Which road you taking?,...
Most of the relationships I see around me are already female led, really. My own is a far cry from it, but plenty of my friends' marriages are the typical "the house pretty much looks like a girl lives here," "I have to see if my wife will let me go to the movie" variety.
_________________ This year's hallway bounty: tampon dipped in ketchup, mouthguard, one sock, severed teddy bear head, pregnancy test, gym bag containing unwashed gym clothes and a half-eaten sandwich
_________________ This year's hallway bounty: tampon dipped in ketchup, mouthguard, one sock, severed teddy bear head, pregnancy test, gym bag containing unwashed gym clothes and a half-eaten sandwich
"Hey man, wanna catch Blahblah this Friday?" "Sure." "Okay. I'll ask my wife if I can go, and let you know."
Why the fuck did you ask me, if you haven't even checked with mom yet?
_________________ This year's hallway bounty: tampon dipped in ketchup, mouthguard, one sock, severed teddy bear head, pregnancy test, gym bag containing unwashed gym clothes and a half-eaten sandwich
A few years ago at a White House Correspondents' dinner, I met a very beautiful actress. Within moments, she blurted out: "I can't believe I'm 46 and not married. Men only want to marry their personal assistants or P.R. women."
I'd been noticing a trend along these lines, as famous and powerful men took up with the young women whose job it was to tend to them and care for them in some way: their secretaries, assistants, nannies, caterers, flight attendants, researchers and fact-checkers.
Women in staff support are the new sirens because, as a guy I know put it, they look upon the men they work for as "the moon, the sun and the stars." It's all about orbiting, serving and salaaming their Sun Gods.
In all those great Tracy/Hepburn movies more than a half-century ago, it was the snap and crackle of a romance between equals that was so exciting. Moviemakers these days seem far more interested in the soothing aura of romances between unequals.
In James Brooks's "Spanglish," Adam Sandler, as a Los Angeles chef, falls for his hot Mexican maid. The maid, who cleans up after Mr. Sandler without being able to speak English, is presented as the ideal woman. The wife, played by Téa Leoni, is repellent: a jangly, yakking, overachieving, overexercised, unfaithful, shallow she-monster who has just lost her job with a commercial design firm. Picture Faye Dunaway in "Network" if she'd had to stay home, or Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction" without the charm.
The same attraction of unequals animated Richard Curtis's "Love Actually," a 2003 holiday hit. The witty and sophisticated British prime minister, played by Hugh Grant, falls for the chubby girl who wheels the tea and scones into his office. A businessman married to the substantial Emma Thompson falls for his sultry secretary. A writer falls for his maid, who speaks only Portuguese.
(I wonder if the trend in making maids who don't speak English heroines is related to the trend of guys who like to watch Kelly Ripa in the morning with the sound turned off?)
Art is imitating life, turning women who seek equality into selfish narcissists and objects of rejection, rather than affection.
As John Schwartz of The New York Times wrote recently, "Men would rather marry their secretaries than their bosses, and evolution may be to blame."
A new study by psychology researchers at the University of Michigan, using college undergraduates, suggests that men going for long-term relationships would rather marry women in subordinate jobs than women who are supervisors.
As Dr. Stephanie Brown, the lead author of the study, summed it up for reporters: "Powerful women are at a disadvantage in the marriage market because men may prefer to marry less-accomplished women." Men think that women with important jobs are more likely to cheat on them.
"The hypothesis," Dr. Brown said, "is that there are evolutionary pressures on males to take steps to minimize the risk of raising offspring that are not their own." Women, by contrast, did not show a marked difference in their attraction to men who might work above or below them. And men did not show a preference when it came to one-night stands.
A second study, which was by researchers at four British universities and reported last week, suggested that smart men with demanding jobs would rather have old-fashioned wives, like their mums, than equals. The study found that a high I.Q. hampers a woman's chance to get married, while it is a plus for men. The prospect for marriage increased by 35 percent for guys for each 16-point increase in I.Q.; for women, there is a 40 percent drop for each 16-point rise.
So was the feminist movement some sort of cruel hoax? The more women achieve, the less desirable they are? Women want to be in a relationship with guys they can seriously talk to - unfortunately, a lot of those guys want to be in relationships with women they don't have to talk to.
I asked the actress and writer Carrie Fisher, on the East Coast to promote her novel "The Best Awful," who confirmed that women who challenge men are in trouble.
"I haven't dated in 12 million years," she said drily. "I gave up on dating powerful men because they wanted to date women in the service professions. So I decided to date guys in the service professions. But then I found out that kings want to be treated like kings, and consorts want to be treated like kings, too."
_________________ "A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap." - Mitch Hedberg
A second study, which was by researchers at four British universities and reported last week, suggested that smart men with demanding jobs would rather have old-fashioned wives, like their mums, than equals. The study found that a high I.Q. hampers a woman's chance to get married, while it is a plus for men. The prospect for marriage increased by 35 percent for guys for each 16-point increase in I.Q.; for women, there is a 40 percent drop for each 16-point rise.
From experience I would say that a lot of smart women have problems with letting loose and having fun. The guys I hang out with have no problems with being smart Monday to Friday and being complete and utter idiots on the occasional weekend and have great fun. I'm not sure why this is the case or it's isolated to my experiences but I take it for what it is.
While I find brains to be uber-sexy if you're not up for having fun it's not going to work. I think a lot of "strong" women don't know how and/or when to relinquish that strength.
While I find brains to be uber-sexy if you're not up for having fun it's not going to work. I think a lot of "strong" women don't know how and/or when to relinquish that strength.
Good point.
_________________ "A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap." - Mitch Hedberg
While I find brains to be uber-sexy if you're not up for having fun it's not going to work. I think a lot of "strong" women don't know how and/or when to relinquish that strength.
Good point.
The flip side is that there are a lot of men who don't realize when it's time to grow up and accept responsibility.
While I find brains to be uber-sexy if you're not up for having fun it's not going to work. I think a lot of "strong" women don't know how and/or when to relinquish that strength.
Good point.
The flip side is that there are a lot of men who don't realize when it's time to grow up and accept responsibility.
Another good point!
_________________ "A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap." - Mitch Hedberg
While I find brains to be uber-sexy if you're not up for having fun it's not going to work. I think a lot of "strong" women don't know how and/or when to relinquish that strength.
Good point.
The flip side is that there are a lot of men who don't realize when it's time to grow up and accept responsibility.
Another good point!
I'm in my 40's now and I find it very hard to find professional career women close to my age who still know how to let loose and have fun. Some of my friends wives bug me for dating woman 10+ years younger but I just want to have fun in a relationship with someone I like and respect. There's only so much red wine by the fire a guy can take. Sometimes life calls for tequila shooters and skinny dipping.
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 11:54 pm Posts: 12287 Location: Manguetown Gender: Male
I've been with such dumb girls that would simply forget to fasten the seat belt while in the passanger seat. Of course when I noted that, I would shout at the bitch telling that she could get me an expensive ticket if a policeman saw her not wearing the belt.
In the end it was good to find out that sometimes I am the one who is too good.
_________________ There's just no mercy in your eyes There ain't no time to set things right And I'm afraid I've lost the fight I'm just a painful reminder Another day you leave behind
So hey tyler, do those relationships with women 10 years younger last for you? Or are they just more or less fun/no pressure type short timers?
One lasted 4 years and ony ended because I didn't want more kids (talk about no fun ). Most are in the 1-3 month range. But I'd rather have fun for a few months with a nice girl and repeat that cycle than be stuck in something longer that just ain't fun. I live in a big city, there's lots of girls. It doesn't take much to strike up a conversation and go out.
So hey tyler, do those relationships with women 10 years younger last for you? Or are they just more or less fun/no pressure type short timers?
One lasted 4 years and ony ended because I didn't want more kids (talk about no fun ). Most are in the 1-3 month range. But I'd rather have fun for a few months with a nice girl and repeat that cycle than be stuck in something longer that just ain't fun. I live in a big city, there's lots of girls. It doesn't take much to strike up a conversation and go out.
So what would you think about women that live the same sort of dating lifestyle you do? Not wanting anything serious, just fun, and NOMOREKIDS? Would you think she was a skank or a slut? Or just simply a career woman that doesn't want to be tied down?
_________________ "A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap." - Mitch Hedberg
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i think its hysterial. i think alot of guys would agree with those rules. reminds me of something one of my bosses said, "as a man in a marriage, you are either right or you are happy"
). Most are in the 1-3 month range. But I'd rather have fun for a few months with a nice girl and repeat that cycle than be stuck in something longer that just ain't fun. I live in a big city, there's lots of girls. It doesn't take much to strike up a conversation and go out.