The Congressional (Democratic/Republican - nobody gets a pass) Stimulus package explained:
Sometime this year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:
"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment? "A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
"Q. Where will the government get this money? "A. From taxpayers.
"Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? "A. No, they are borrowing it from China. Your children will be expected to repay the Chinese.
"Q. What is the purpose of this payment? "A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
"Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China? "A. Shut up."
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al Qaeda
If you purchase a computer it will go to Taiwan.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, Chile, and Guatemala.
If you buy a car it will go to Japan and Korea.
If you purchase prescription drugs it will go to India
If you purchase heroin it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan
If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria.
And none of it will help the American economy.
***We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.
_________________ "A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap." - Mitch Hedberg
Joined: Thu Apr 13, 2006 3:51 am Posts: 43609 Location: My city smells like Cheerios Gender: Male
yes, spending money a store with a physical location in the united states doesn't help it whatsoever. Nevermind the fact that buying shit with sales tax gives money back to the governmental funds
_________________ "No matter how hard you kill Jesus, he would always just come back and hit you twice as hard."
yes, spending money a store with a physical location in the united states doesn't help it whatsoever. Nevermind the fact that buying shit with sales tax gives money back to the governmental funds
Why do you have to ruin fun chain letters with facts? Asshole.
_________________ CrowdSurge and Ten Club will conduct further investigation into this matter.
Joined: Thu Apr 13, 2006 3:51 am Posts: 43609 Location: My city smells like Cheerios Gender: Male
given2trade wrote:
mecca2687 wrote:
yes, spending money a store with a physical location in the united states doesn't help it whatsoever. Nevermind the fact that buying shit with sales tax gives money back to the governmental funds
Why do you have to ruin fun chain letters with facts? Asshole.
_________________ "No matter how hard you kill Jesus, he would always just come back and hit you twice as hard."
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i read the title as ergonomics 101 and then was confused by the content
exactly