Dear Mrs. Jones,

I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.
I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn’t show me dancing around a pole. It’s supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.
From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith

That's still fucked up that she wants to work at Home Depot.

You mean, nobody else saw the shovel? Wow. You all have dirty minds.

THAT IS ONE FUCKIN' HUGE SHOVEL.

For huge snow.