Hi guys.

So last night I came home from a party, extremely inebriated and heartbroken due to some personal dramas I have going on. I couldn't get to sleep, so I decided to grab my guitar and started playing. A chord progression struck me as sort of pretty, so I write some words up in 5 minutes, record it on my digital camera (no mic at hand) and go to bed.

This morning I woke up, found it and laughed for like 10 minutes. It's chock full of nonsensical lyrics ("she's got dead dogs in her eyes"??) It tries to sound like Chet Baker's "Embraceable You" album but fails miserably. It's funny, though, to see what came out of me in that very drunk, very pissed off moment. Also, I incorporate some of Wilco's "Reservations" at the end, which is just random as shit. And I won't even talk about the ending.

I'm no singer, ESPECIALLY when I'm sloppy drunk, and the guitar was off-tune, but you don't notice that when you're full of scotch. I have a feeling I can pull something halfway decent out of this. As it stands, it's just hilarious-bad.
Enjoy!

You can listen to the song here http://www.filedropper.com/mselusive001

Lyrics

Spoiler: show

Miss Elusive

Ms Elusive comes in like a breeze
says "excuse me" as she thumbs through my magazines
Taking up my time
Pulling bricks from crumbling walls

Ms Elusive has got promises to spare
And a wide array of lovers to keep flowers in her hair
And she'll humor them
Just like she humored me

And she stands with handerchief in hand
And she smiles so sullenly
And with a sigh dries off the tears... the bitch
You almost buy it, her rehearsed crying

Ms Elusive has got dead dogs in her eyes
And a laugh so hoarse you'd think that she was about to die
But you love her
'Cause come on, just look at her
And maybe you can fix whatever's wrong

'Cause maybe she's got reservations
About so many things, but not about you
Not about you... maybe not about you
I doubt it.

Put the stupid thing on some website. Let me know if anybody listens, and don't feel bad about making fun of how bad it is.

Firstly, you're way too hard on yourself. Your voice is really fine, and the guitar doesn't sound that out of tune to me. Secondly, this is a pretty song, and the sentiment really comes across - it's touching. These lyrics were my favourite:

But you love her
'Cause come on, just look at her
And maybe you can fix whatever's wrong

Really like the first stanza of the lyrics.

i've heard worse.

I like it Jorge! Not bad for drunken impromptu song writing.

I like everything except the last stanza, and the two lines from the 3rd.

"And she stands with handerchief in hand
And she smiles so sullenly"

Those seem to be the weakest part of the song. Otherwise you did a fantastic job.
Concentrate a bit more keeping your voice on key and you've got a winner.

Thanks for the kind comments guys. This song was very spur-of-the-moment, sloppily put together and executed. Maybe one day I'll work on it and record a decent-sounding, earnest version of it. I posted this just 'cause I thought it was hilarious, what with the "dead dogs in her eyes", the random Wilco quote and the punk rock guitar jam at the end.

I like most of the writing. Granted, the dead dogs line is funny. Also, I think "the bitch" just doesn't work. The rest of it can be so strong, so it kind of drags it down. Your singing isn't as bad as you think. With some more work this could be quite good it seems.