Yeah, I'd take a lifetime of blowjobs over that fish face.

Does the original mermaid have some sort of orifice down there or is it just a wall of scales?

Females have human internal reproduction organs; however the vagina is slightly shorter, and the common urogenital opening (the urethra merges with the vaginal canal near the opening) is at the front. The opening can stretch as much as a human vaginal opening; mermaid babies are born live (as opposed to hatched from eggs). A clitoris (which is the same color as the tail) is slightly below the urogenital opening, and an anus is above the urogenital opening. Mermaid vaginas are slightly smaller than human ones (since male mermaid penises are smaller, explained below), so they tend to be more sexually satisfying to human males.

Males do have a penis, but it is almost as small as a human female clitoris and is the same color as the tail; it is hardly visible (this is the only plausible explanation to why no one has ever seen a penis on any of the male mermaids). It is used for urination, as well as sexual intercourse. The testicles are inside the tail, as opposed to the pelvis, since they require a slightly lower temperature to function properly (the human and pelvis part is warm-blooded, but the tail is cold-blooded). The anus is above the penis.

i like to see actual legs

Can the human-faced one talk? Because in that case I'll take the fish head.

This thread reminds me of the movie Dagon.

This thread reminds me of the movie The Little Mermaid.

I was thinking of Lovecraft as I read this thread.