A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted
an attractive man standing alone. She approached him.

'My name is Carmen,' she told him.

'That's a beautiful name,' he replied, 'Is it a family name?'

'No,' she replied. 'I gave it to myself. It reflects the things
I like most -- cars and men.'

'What's your name?' she asked.

He said, 'B. J. Titsengolf'

Husband: "If I won in the Lottery what would you do?"
Wife: "I'd take my half and leave your sorry ass."
Husband: "Okay, I won ten dollars. Here's five bucks, now get the hell out of here."

CAPTAIN TO SERGEANT: Tomorrow there will be a sun eclipse, so I have resolved that the company will be at the drill field in campaign uniform, where I will give explanations about the phenomenon, which does not happens every day. If it rains, though, the company will remain in quarters.

SERGEANT TO CORPORAL: By orders of our captain, there will be a sun eclipse tomorrow in campaign uniform. The whole company must be present at the drill field, where our captain will give explanations about the phenomenon inside the quarters, which doesn't happen every day if it rains.

CORPORAL TO PRIVATES: Tomorrow, there'll be a sun eclipse, which will give the necessary explanations about our captain. The phenomenon will go out in campaign uniform to the drill field, except if it rains in the quarters, which doesn't happen every day.

PRIVATE TO RECRUIT: We'll go out tomorrow to a campaign in a sun eclipse that our captain's phenomenon fixed up to rain uniforms in the drill field. If it rains, though, the company will give explanations in quarters, which doesn't happen every day.

RECRUIT TO FAMILY: Tomorrow will rain a sun eclipse in quarters, which our captain gave the company so the drill phenomenon will go to the uniform campaign. If it rains in the uniforms, which doesn't happen every day, we'll have to take the eclipse inside quarters.

Wait, what?

thats not really a joke i think.

I do not think that word means what she thinks it means.

a sun eclipse

we'll have to take the eclipse inside quarters.

Well this thread turned out awful.

what's going on, jorge?

I'm working from home today, Len. I'm in my boxers. It's good.

that is exalcotiuy whiat itos liokepñ

well that's an odd way to say it

My mom's coming to visit next week. Kinda cool.

are you going to fill her up with meat like you did parchy?

y... yes

i lol'd a little bit at this