Peruse the sweetener shelf of a US supermarket, and you'll find an array of bear-shaped jars glistening with golden honey, all of it priced to move.

Ever wonder why the ongoing collapse of US honeybee populations hasn't caused a scarcity of honey or a spike in prices? I think the ace investigative reporter Andrew Schneider of Food Safety News might have the answer. In an August investigation, Schneider revealed:

A third or more of all the honey consumed in the U.S. is likely to have been smuggled in from China and may be tainted with illegal antibiotics and heavy metals. A Food Safety News investigation has documented that millions of pounds of honey banned as unsafe in dozens of countries are being imported and sold here in record quantities.

Today, Schneider is back with a new report, already highlighted by my colleague Stephanie Mencimer but worth delving into more.

Schneider rounded up more than 60 samples of honey from retailers in 10 states and the District of Columbia and had them analyzed at a Texas A&M lab. The result: three-quarters of the samples were "ultra-filtered"—a process in which honey is "heated, sometimes watered down and then forced at high pressure through extremely small filters to remove pollen, which is the only foolproof sign identifying the source of the honey."

am i the only one who carries a spare merkin?

yeah, I buy local honey. My shit is smuggled in and produced proper, by North GA meth dealers.

Someone needs to call the Confidential Anti-Comma hotline to report whoever made that billboard.

The heck with that, I say call in the full-blown Poorly Written Sentence Justice Department. That shit is just disgusting.

I had to read that three times before I stopped looking for a guy selling DVDs in the picture.

the guy in the hat is shooting upskirt films. pay attention