in this scenario?"

As most of you know I live in a luxurious townhouse. My neighbor to the right of me is a normal looking, probably early 30's single guy. I don't really know him very well, and the few times we cross paths we exchange regular pleasantries. Well, a few months ago as i'm leaving in the morning I see a minivan pulled in behind his vehicles, and a man with the seat reclined backward asleep. I think to myself that this looks kinda odd, but I don't really think about it anymore. Over the next few weeks I see the same thing a few more times. It still seems odd, and I just conclude that maybe they carpool to work and the guy just likes quick, early morning naps. In the back of my mind I do still thing something weird is at play. Fast forward to this past Sunday afternoon. I come home and I see the van there, and my neighbor is washing his truck. The other guy is just kinda standing over to the side in a suit. I speak to my neighbor briefly and acknowledge the other guy, who was rather expressionless. I leave later that night around 8:30 and I don't recall seeing the van there. I return home around 1:30 am or so and there's the van with the man inside asleep again. I am a little creeped out at this point and I'm still pretty confused as to why he's there in that manner at that time of night. I come home last night around 9:30 and he's back again inside the van but awake. I try not to stare, and proceed quickly into the house. When I leave this morning, he's still there.

I thought maybe my neighbor has a guy sleeping in a van in his driveway fetish.

Any thoughts, team?

protective custody?

Sleeping cops would totally make me feel safe.

This is a real mystery. I don't think it's a gay thing, though.

hookers. he's a driver.

You're in a David Lynch movie. Is the driver a dwarf? Does he speak in reverse?

i dont feel this is really rousing

He was there again last night when I got home, around 10:30, but he was gone at 7 this morning.

that's actually me. I've been stalking you.

incidentally, you looked really cute in the teddybear slippers I saw you in when you picked up your morning paper today, babe.

It didn't happen to be a beige 1986 Chevy Astro van with Illinois license plates by chance, did it?

What's your cell phone number, by the way?

I think. I'll check again to be sure.

Please do, Lenny. Please do.

1-800-FAT-CHICk

Thanks. Texting you photos of Reid as we speak.

Why do you ask, by the way?

what kind of slippers does he wear?