i was bombing all the way into work this morning without thought. i dropped my kids off at daycare, and when i got back in the car, it was like a goddam fart monster was riding shotgun. it's weird that it didn't seem so bad while it was happening.

a couple months ago, another teacher and i were playing ping pong in the staff lounge after school. it was winter, and he had to fart, so he left the room, but instead of going outside, he just stood in the small enclosure between the interior and exterior doors (what's the word for that area? vestibule?) anyway, we left through those doors 40 minutes later, and it was like descending into a sulfur mine. i actually said, "Oh, God!" the best part is, innumerable people walked through it in those 40 minutes. what must they have thought?

All your best threads are digestive-system related.

ill cropdust my door at work so if people come in they HAVE to go through it. i cant describe it, but most of my farts smell like a little town here called glenwillard

If I had to guess who has the most foul-smelling gas on RM, it would definitely be Peeps.

where's nah?

One hopes he's off washing his hair or some other worthwhile activity

so this is what its come to...

id say it would be between me and jimmymac

YOU HAVE A FUCKING PINGPONG TABLE IN THE STAFF LOUNGE?!?!?!?

3 years ago our most senior english dept. member had cancer. it was touch and go for a while, but he pulled through. he loves ping pong. one day at lunch he was talking about it, and i said something like, "it'd be cool if we had one in the staff lounge." that night after everyone had left, he went down to the athletic storage shed and wheeled one up. it had to get approved somewhat formally later on, but who is going to say no to a 50+ year old man who just survived a dance with death? we've had it for almost three years now and have even had staff tourneys the last two years. unfortunately, the novelty wore off for most people and only a half dozen of us use it regularly anymore. we play a game or two at lunch every day since we've all been together for a decade or more and have run out of good shit to talk about for a half hour, five days a week.

Last Friday I went down to our staff lounge to get water. I try to drink a reasonable amount. My plan is during lunch block, however, and when I went down there were already 8 people in the lounge. 8 people happens to be overflow level in our lounge, quite literally, so I never made it through the door. I hit someone in the ass when I tired to open it.

I ended up drinking a few sips out of the the student bathroom faucets. If you tell my wife, I will kill you dead.

So I'm not as impressed with the pingpong as the fact that you could put it in there to begin with.