Here's how you play this thread. Post a picture of your favorite Salon Selective and tell a story about your experience with it. Don't be bashful



Ahh, my favorite. The #5. I can't believe it's only been 12 years, but I'll never forget the first time that Dr. Renfro came over to my house and brought this beauty with him. Instantly, I became mesmerized. I asked the Dr. if I'd be able to try it out while he dabbled in my booze cabinet. He had no issues at all, so into the bathroom I went. I gently wet my hair (you never want to soak your locks before using your favorite Salon Selective) and flicked my neck, spritzing some of the water against the Topal spattered mirror near the sink. I could believe this was actually happening. As I squirted a glob in my doo, I felt the cooling sensation of the #5. Then, out of nowhere I heard a CRASH. "Dr. Renfro!" I Yelled, "are you OK?" A giggle followed by a belly laugh, "oh yes Dr. Pancake, just fine. I had a bit of an accident with your Old Grandad, but all is well."

And then I woke up on the kitchen floor, 2 hours later. Dr. Renfro was gone. My hair was dry. I couldn't believe what had happened.

What an experience, folks.

I remember finding you, naked and wet on the floor of the tub with your legs half agape and your hair partially lathered. Being the gentle person that I am, I picked you up and handcuffed your hands to the shower head. I then proceeded to take the bar of Zest and work your body like a heavy bag, giving you the sudsing of a lifetime. In my own personal opinion, you never looked better. You were not just clean, but Zestfully clean. I shaved your armpits and landscaped your mons pubis. I then proceeded to condition your locks with Salon Selectives #5, remembering to rinse and repeat. I then dried you off with a maroon Egyptian cotton towel I had stolen the night before when crawling out of a bathroom window at a local store. I proceeded to pluck your eyebrows and dry your hair, wrapping it upon your head like a pharaohess. Once this was complete, I dressed you in your pajamas and set you in bed like an angel upon a cloud.

You then vomited and defecated at the same time, which was rather disappointing. At that point, I was prepared to cut my losses and accept defeat when I remembered that I had driven my El Camino to your residence that evening. Without hesitation I swooped you up, full size mattress and all, and placed you into the bed of my luxury car/farm truck abomination. I drove you through a local car wash and was just about finished when you finally awoke. You were a bit agitated, but surprisingly clean with a waxy clear coat. You immediately vomited again, but this time, it slid right off your pajamas.

We laugh about it today.

I was a much younger man then, working nights at the Handy Wash to make ends meet while I pursued the impossible dream of dance stardom. You see, reality television was still in its infancy then, and there were no shortcuts for a ballerina, even of my caliber. I used my coarse tutu like a loofah, lathering it with car wax then exfoliating your entire epidermis smooth. I then performed the dance of the dying Mantis for your chauffeur, who reacted indifferently, but I suppose he was preoccupied with the fecal stains left on his worn but still serviceable pleather seats. The two of you then disappeared into the darkness of night, and I knew not what had become of you... til today.

something about a fox with socks

this children's character originated out of Depression-era war pamphleteers promoting conservation of household materials such as food, clothing, and disposable cleaning items. the 'grouse' mouse was a household nuisance who, normally fed crumbs and scraps, grew increasingly irritated at the war wife and her children saving food for themselves waiting for dad to come home from South Korea. the mouse was deprived of his meals and turned into a curmudgeon who died and was pecked away by a murder of pigeons in a Minsk back alley.

the idea was conceived originally as a 'grouse,' the crow-like bird that was known for eating out of trash cans and killing stray cats, but upon seeing the popularity of Mighty Mouse, the war pamphleteers realized a mouse was a better choice to attract the attention of impressionable kids. the 'grouse' stuck, due to its dual meaning of 'grump,' ... thus, the Grouse Mouse was born.

i remember my grandfather telling me about this character and then i eventually saw a new, reincarnated Grouse Mouse during the Crimean War when I babysat my sister in Toronto. The new Grouse Mouse encouraged envrionemental awareness and recycling. Captain Planet supplanted The New Grouse Mouse as Mother Earth's Spokes-Character on children's television. but i won't forget all the good memories of this lovable guy, The Grouse Mouse

paradigms are being encapsulated

Looks like somebody has a little trouble following instructions




No picture. No hair products in your story. What the hell, spike?

i've cast aside the shackles of thread responsibility, mctom. this is me running naked through the meadows of GD.

well, i guess if you're going to make a 40,000 post omelette you've gotta break a couple of threads.

why does this thread have 1007 views? (I'm looking at YOU, balki!)

how would I know?

this is your doing, pal. I just know it

Talk to the hand, big binch

Is that...Phil Jackson?

little known fact about Phil Jackson- in his spare time he's a high ranking government official in India

Tonight was 'opening day' at Security Field where I'm working at the Fox Den for the baseball season. This was the first night that I worked in the store, and wow was it freaking busy. I sold so many blankets, sweatshirts, and beanies! This was because of fans that came to the game unprepared for the cold weather. I swear I must have sold over 100 blankets. At $32 a pop for a blanket? whewwww.


For the first 30 minutes after the gates opened they had bag pipes playing, which sort of made sense because earlier in the afternoon I wondered why the hell some guy would wear a kilt to the game considering how cold it was.

The highlight of my night was two guys that patronized the den. One was swapping out his Detroit Tigers cap for a Sky Sox cap. We talked about both having moved to Colorado and how we'll probably have to become Rockies fans now. I asked about which cap he would wear if both the Tigers and the Rocks go to the World Series, and he grinned and waved his Tigers hat at me as he went out the door.

Nice.


The second was a guy from southern MI. He was swapping out his Red Wings beanie for a Sox beanie. He told me about how his Irish grandparents got off the boat and found themselves in an all Polish neighborhood in Detroit, so that's how his family learned how to fight and play hockey. His uncle and another relative of his played for the Wings is what he told me. So I told him where I was from and he said "oh I know where that is! It's right here!" and he held up his hand and pointed right to the Saginaw Bay.

It was nice to talk to a couple of strangers with a familiar place in common.



Most retail jobs are grueling. But this one isn't. It's light hearted and fun.


To sum it up. I really really really hope I get to meet Fox the Sox at some point.