Possibly the worst band in the history of music. In 1992 I once came very close to being beaten half to death in a seedy bar for loudly proclaiming, halfway though the third jukebox round of “Jeremy,” that I wished The Jam would immediately all die in an airplane crash. Or at the very least go down in the snowy Andes foothills and be forced to slowly eat one other until only Eddie Vedder’s marinated larynx and Stone Gossard’s finger were discovered by rescue teams. Pearl Jam is Bad Company with knit caps and better goatees, a bloated strain of Seattle-soaked cock rock pretending to bleed at the alt alter. Their dalliance with the Black Hole hole of ill-defined social concerns was barely overshadowed by a cameo in the seminal Bridget Fonda ’90s angst-fest, Singles. Pearl Jam are mumble-core that is irritating beyond measure, unearned flannel brooding and hilarious furrowed lip, all testost and no terone, every song a wash of lazy sludge that never fails to devolve into Vedder’s signature vocal move, ritualistic small mammal yowling: yeah-hah-uhhh-ah-uhhh-ooh-oh-oh-oooh-yeah-grrr-mammer-jammer-ah-hah-huh-oh-yeah-oooh-Jeremy-Jeremy-uh-uh-ooh-eah-huh-hibble-dop-deeble-dibble-dop-yeah-hah!
Post subject: Re: Possibly the worst band in the history of music
Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 1:13 am
Winner: 2007+2009 Other Bands Cover Contest
Joined: Mon Feb 13, 2006 4:50 pm Posts: 2792
Is a comparison to Bad Company considered a negative? I like all the bands in his top 10 except for Creed and I guess solo Sting. The Police were all time great.
Post subject: Re: Possibly the worst band in the history of music
Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 1:26 pm
Global Moderator
Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2004 4:02 am Posts: 44183 Location: New York Gender: Male
well anything is possible
_________________ "Better the occasional faults of a Government that lives in a spirit of charity than the consistent omissions of a Government frozen in the ice of its own indifference."--FDR
Yup... Pearl Jam and REM are my favourite bands of all-time and I too would consider myself a fairly discerning music fan much like the writer. Opinions are like assholes...
_________________ Toronto '96/Montreal '98/Barrie '98/Jones Beach I & II/Montreal '00/Toronto '00/Albany '03/Montreal '03/Montreal '05/MSG I '08/Toronto '09/MSG II '10/Montreal '11 Vinyl Thread
Post subject: Re: Possibly the worst band in the history of music
Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 4:21 pm
Global Moderator
Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2004 4:02 am Posts: 44183 Location: New York Gender: Male
I can't stand Billy Joel, but he's clearly talented.
_________________ "Better the occasional faults of a Government that lives in a spirit of charity than the consistent omissions of a Government frozen in the ice of its own indifference."--FDR
Post subject: Re: Possibly the worst band in the history of music
Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 4:22 pm
Global Moderator
Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2004 4:02 am Posts: 44183 Location: New York Gender: Male
what bothers me about these savage kinds of pieces is that they're rarely funny. if you're going to do a takedown like this you need to be on. Maddox was a bad influence for the rest of the internet.
_________________ "Better the occasional faults of a Government that lives in a spirit of charity than the consistent omissions of a Government frozen in the ice of its own indifference."--FDR
Post subject: Re: Possibly the worst band in the history of music
Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 5:20 pm
Yeah Yeah Yeah
Joined: Wed Aug 25, 2010 6:37 am Posts: 3819
stip wrote:
what bothers me about these savage kinds of pieces is that they're rarely funny. if you're going to do a takedown like this you need to be on. Maddox was a bad influence for the rest of the internet.
At least Maddox was restricted to his own blog-type site and claimed that sort of unqualified bitching as his whole shtick; Salon is a halfway respectable publication. In a print magazine, this sort of thing would be a back-page filler article--nothing clever, insightful, or funny, just irrelevant editorial fluff used to fatten the spine. Calling it click-bait seems like a fair approximation of how this kind of article has evolved into the internet age.
Post subject: Re: Possibly the worst band in the history of music
Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 10:54 pm
Global Moderator
Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2004 4:02 am Posts: 44183 Location: New York Gender: Male
Kevin Davis wrote:
stip wrote:
what bothers me about these savage kinds of pieces is that they're rarely funny. if you're going to do a takedown like this you need to be on. Maddox was a bad influence for the rest of the internet.
At least Maddox was restricted to his own blog-type site and claimed that sort of unqualified bitching as his whole shtick; Salon is a halfway respectable publication. In a print magazine, this sort of thing would be a back-page filler article--nothing clever, insightful, or funny, just irrelevant editorial fluff used to fatten the spine. Calling it click-bait seems like a fair approximation of how this kind of article has evolved into the internet age.
oh sure. I loved Maddox's site too. I thought he was often really great (not always, but often).
But Maddox is to that guy as Pearl Jam is to Creed
_________________ "Better the occasional faults of a Government that lives in a spirit of charity than the consistent omissions of a Government frozen in the ice of its own indifference."--FDR
Weird that almost all the musical artists in hell are American and all are white. Didn't Robert Johnson sell his soul to the devil? Surely he will be there too.
Post subject: Re: Possibly the worst band in the history of music
Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 2:03 pm
Unthought Known
Joined: Fri Jul 10, 2009 5:52 pm Posts: 8288
they just do this to get clicks. if they had real shit bands on there, no one would click. A lifetime wasted using Yahoo as my internet portal has taught me these hard lessons.
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