'Three Stooges' type horseplay lands teen in court
By The Associated Press

(8/08/05 - GOLD HILL, OR) — A 15-year-old boy who pinched and twisted the nipples of a 13-year-old has been sentenced to three days of community service for harassment.

David Thumler, 15, said the "titty-twister" was just horseplay. The mother of 13-year-old Matthew Cox counters that the incident was humiliating for her son, who saw it as an assault from an older, bigger bully.

"They're not friends," she said. "If he was my son's friend, it would be a different thing," said Bobby Cox.

In addition to the community service, Thumler has been ordered to pay a $67 fine and the misdemeanor has been placed on his permanent record. He can request to have it removed when he turns 18.

Ken Chapman, a Jackson County juvenile probation supervisor, said Oregon law defines physical harassment as "offensive physical touching."

That includes such adolescent antics as "wet-willies," "wedgies," "swirlies," "noogies" and all other forms of "Three Stooges" behavior, Chapman said.

According to David, the two boys were in line at a local deli when Matthew jokingly made an embarrassing remark to the female clerk about David. In retaliation, David counterattacked with the "titty-twister," the 15-year-old said.

"It's a thing of camaraderie," David said. "If he's going to assume our friendship is on that level, then so am I."

A lawyer hired by the 15-year-old's family called the juvenile court's actions "Orwellian."

"They call this 'baby assault,'" said Michael Kellington, a criminal defense attorney in Medford, hired by the family.

Even Bobby Cox said she was surprised to hear that her husbands' call to Gold Hill police resulted in court time for the boy. "Nobody informed me it would be a full-blown trial," she said.

According to Kellington, the incident was blown out of proportion in part because David's mother refused to let him show up for an initial hearing in juvenile court. Christine Alford, David's mother, said she did not let her son attend the hearing because she had seen photos of teenagers in handcuffs on the county's Web site.

Kellington said that Alford's refusal to let David go upped the ante and brought down "unfair, Draconian measures" upon her son. What should have been a discussion between first-time-offender and a representative of the juvenile justice system became a court trial.

"The mom is understandably fearful," said Kellington. "You shouldn't retaliate for the decision of a parent upon the child."

Chapman, the juvenile probation supervisor, said the mother should have known better.

"'Hearing' doesn't mean 'taking into custody,'" he said. "When we take someone into custody, we don't make appointments. If there's a consequence for not coming in informally, well, that's one they chose."

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these people are so stupid that it hurts my head

I have a HUGE backlog of people to sue.

My Uncle Dave
My Uncle Gary
My cousin, Denny
My cousin, Shawn
My cousin, Jason
My cousin, Tom
Everyone of my 8th grade classmates
My Grandpa Joe
That really bulky girl at my grade school

Ooooooh, you're all going down, bitches.

This is ridiculous, but titty twisters do make me so full of rage. I'm a nice guy, but I seriously want to hold someone down and punch their face into a pulp if they do it to me, I hate them that fucking much.

*titty twister's Nate*

Oh, man! Dude, your mom just got your name printed in the paper for being a pussy!

*punches Peeps into a bloody pulp*

*grows a mustache*

*Sam Beam's*

Look, I'm famous!

Its only humiliating if you think it is

We call them a nipple cripple here.

This is one I have to agree with. The titty twisterers of the world need to be punished. Making a federal case out of it is a bit over the top, but men really need to stop twisting each others nipples. Actually, they should be able to do it, but you get a giant "FAG" branded into your head the next day. Those fuckers hurt.

It's only humiliating if your cry-babying goes out across the world wide web.

i feel sorry for the kid, having such an overbearing mom and all. the older kid will probably just beat the shit out of him now.

it fucking sucks to be a kid these days. apparently they're not allowed to have fun anymore.i can't believe they even outlawed wet willies too. if i was the father of the 13 year old,i'd bitch slap him for being a complete pussy.

Seriously, if you got a twister at my grade school and even went so far as to tell a lunch monitor or a teacher about it, the next day you had a guaranteed ass-kicking waiting for you. And that was a decade ago.

Fuck this kid, fuck his mom, and fuck the judicial system for revoking an integral aspect of childhood. If there's one thing I've learned about the human experience in all of my days, it's that sometimes, a nipple just needs a good tweaking.

If there was ever a justification for vigilante justice, it is titty twisters.

Nate has "sensitive" nipples.

I do indeed, and also a sensitive trigger finger for anyone that fucks with them!

this thread and the band aid thread is making me very worried about the future of America. what the fuck is this new generation of children going to be like after being coddled to death by their parents?

In 8th grade, I was kicked every day after science class by some bully girls who were in the lab next to mine. I was picked on because i was small and skinny and shy. But one day I stood up for myself and they never fucking bothered me again . That was an important lesson...one I don't think kids these days are learning.

i once gave a kid a nuetron wedgie.

i pulled his tighty whities so hard and fast from behind, that i actually ripped the waistband right off