I want everybody's greatest fart ever story. ok, i'm drunk and wanted to have a special thread for this. I realize the mods hate tghis shit but i only make like one of these a week so i feel i have some flexibility. So tell your greatest fart story, have a beer, bong hit, eat your brownies, drink your mushroom filled tea, out the tab on your tongue and have a good time at the clubber lounge.

Disclaimer: You don't havwe to have a ghreatest fart story ton contribute....but it would help.

isn't it tuesday night? this isn't the official get drunk night? oh damn, i messed up

silent, but deadly

I don't think I've ever let one go that wouldn't curl the nose hairs on a skunk.

cmon, you don't have a "best" fart?

They're all so similar it's hard to say. I'm just too damn consistent.

you're like a virgin farter. it's like your dick was in a chick for 5 seconds so you think you had sex but you really didn't. you get what i'm saying?

I have had so many good ones but a friend had the best ever about 5 years ago. He didn't shit for 8 days so ended up in a hospital, they gave him some shit to drink and he ended up clogging 3 toilets in his work the next day. that same night I went over to play some madden, he ripped a fart that was absolutely ungodly, I had to leave the room, i went back in 20 minutes later and the room still smelled like the worst fart anyone has ever smelled.

Yesterday, I was over my sisters and my 4 year old nephew all of the sudden says "watch out if i fart, they smell so bad that you will have to run away and you will be sick". Apparently he has been releasing these horrendous fluffies the last few weeks.

I dont have any great stories but I honestly fart at least 20 times a day. Today I had "the big D" and pushed out 2 wetties.

Oh no, this isn't true at all. I have an intolerance to caffeine. The flatulence that condition brings forth is legendary and unique in its consistency from fart to fart.

i blew a nasty fart during a wrestling match in high school. fuck. it stunk

whilst camping a few years back my mates and i had horrendous bowels after a week of solid drinking. one night jordan farted so bad we were scrambling for the zip to no avail, which followed by intense gagging. i have never met such a fierce enemy.

not my own, but it will have to do.

I ripped one once in freshman science class in high school. The teacher kept the room warm and comfy, and I got a little too relaxed and ripped one with good tone.

It didn't stink that bad, but it was loud. Everyone gives me the evil eye immediately, and I was ungodly embarrassed. This was before I came to appreciate a good fart in a public place.

I hate when they just sneak up on ya. Two nights ago I was crawling into bed and Billy had his arms up so I could snuggle up to him. I didn't even know I had to fart, but when I bent over to lie down, I let out the loudest, most wall-rumbling fart ever. He yelled "Holy shit! Was that you?!?" (like there was someone else in the room or something ) and then the smell hit us. ...Ugh. It was indescribable. It was like wet cat food mixed with rancid hamburger helper and topped with baby vomit. We both jumped up and ran out of there, and I stood waving the door open and shut to air the stink out for about 10 minutes before we tried going back to bed. He was so "proud" of it that he told my sister and brother-in-law yesterday evening when they came over.

That's my fart story. The end.

I've had some nasty ones, but nothing that compares to what some of my friends have put forth. Here is one of the worst.

We had spent a week drinking and snowboarding in New Hampshire and were driving back to the Canadian border. For the last 3 hours of the trip the driver kept letting off these ungodly farts. The kind where you HAVE to crack a window and hang your head out. Except it was winter and it was brutally cold out. The first few we sort of giggled and rode it out. We didn't want to crack that window if at all possible. Eventually we had to relent because the smell was unholy in that little car. The worst part is that is wasn't just a couple of farts. It was at least one every 5-10 minutes of the caliber that would make one gag. It was a very long, cold drive home...and i never want to smell that again.

my dad once unleashed one at a parent-teacher conferense that sent 15 people running into the halls...

and the bastard is proud of that fart to this very day!

My friend and I went out boozing. We're whores so we dressed the part. She was wearing a teeny tiny skirt. It was early in the night so the bar wasn't very busy. She farted pretty bad and gave me this look of fear. She ran to the bathroom and came out 3 minutes later telling me that we had to leave right away. Yeah. She crapped herself. It was one of the best nights ever.

Who: Big George
Where: In a van, somewhere in eastern PA
Why: 12 hot dogs
Occasion: Hot Dog Tour 2005

i breathed in the air that was once contained in Big George's anal cavity

Big George from the HDT ripped one...in went in my lungs and sustained me.

Big George farted and i breathed it in and it became me. its still in my hair and fingernails