...I shot a 7 lb. human out of a hole the size of a lemon!
Pix first, then talk:












Okey doke...so it started out Friday when I called Billy at work...told him I needed to go to the hospital cuz I was leaking fluid. We got there, they hooked me up to a monitor for an hour, checked me for dilation, then sent me on my way. Told me it was just, er, "natural increased discharge" to, ya know, lubricate the baby's passage and that I was only dilated to 1 1/2 cm.

Okay, so that night, I started having heavier contractions. They weren't real painful or anything, just felt like heavy PMS cramps for a few seconds every quarter hour or so. I kinda took it easy all the next day, rested a bunch, took a little Tylenol for the pain (yes, Tylenol's fine during pregnancy). We went to my parents' house for dinner and me and my mom started kinda started timing my contractions. At that point they were still about 15 minutes apart, but they had started getting stronger. Me and Billy went home and I took a nap on the couch. Around 9:00, I went to the bathroom and noticed a little blood. Told him we needed to go to Ada again.

We drove an hour and a half to the hospital in Ada. During the trip, my contractions started getting pretty bad. So bad that I was having to use my breathing/meditation techniques on some. Again, they hooked me up to the monitors and the nurse LEFT THE ROOM to watch the monitor on a computer. While she was doing that, I was in that stupid exam room all by myself, contracting and breathing and that whole business. She walks back in a little bit later, checks me for dilation again and says, "Well, you're still only dilated to 1 1/2 cm. and your contractions are only showing up to be mild to maybe moderate." (As she's saying this I'm thinking, "HOLY GOD, they get worse than THIS!" Turns out they don't really...I was having full-on contractions.) So she acts all snide and says, "You're just having practice contractions and it's probably because you're dehydrated." She gave me a big hospital cup of water and told me to go home. Also said, "Your due date's not 'til this coming Thursday anyway." I asked her if she'd call my midwife so I could get her opinion. She told me it wasn't necessary because she'd told me what the midwife would tell me anyway if she was there.

Bitch.

Okay...so we go back home after another hour-and-a-half-long, agonizing trip on shitty Oklahoma highways in 90 degree weather with no air conditioner. I think we got home around 12:30, just a little past midnight. I tried going to bed, but I was having hard contractions about 5 minutes apart by then and the water wasn't working any miricles. All of a sudden, I felt this TERRIBLE urge to shit!!! I went to the bathroom, sat down, pushed, and *GUSH!* my water broke!!! I've got to be the luckiest woman in the world to have my water break into the toilet. I then realized that I didn't have to poop, my body was trying to push out the baby!!! I screamed out the bedroom door for Billy to call an ambulance! He did, and I just stayed on the toilet cursing everything nearby, until they arrived, about 25 minutes later. They took me to the nearest hospital (I was planning to go to Ada cuz they're the only one that has the midwife available) half an hour away in the nearest town.

I arrived at the hospital around 2:30 Sunday morning. By 2:45, I was on the table, in the stirrups, with Billy by my head, pushing and panting and grunting and screaming with every inch of my being. At 2:52, just about 20 minutes after arriving at the hospital, Faye popped out!!!

It was kinda funny. After going through all that and doing just fine, one of the nurses told me she was going to start an IV and draw some blood. I wasn't scared through my labor, but I screamed bloody murder and started yelling "NO! NO!! DON'T GET THAT THING NEAR ME!" and freaking out. Fat lot of good it did me, as you can tell by the pics. My main reason for opting for a midwife instead of a standard hospital was to AVOID needles!

Anyway, that's the wacky adventures of Toni's labor.

Oh, and just cuz I could, I turned a cartwheel in my living room just now.

Awwwwwwww. I wish she was still here to post this herself.

yeah me too

Did we ever figure out who was harassing her?

Did we ever figure out who was harassing her?

Yeah, she talked about it here. Her mentally ill stalker ex.

I meant username-wise.