alright this needs some reworking, but... you get the main idea. tell me what you're thinking, please

The wind twirling up my hair carries faces of my love, carries pictures of my heart
Both are nothing like what they’ve been before, but only one is torn apart
And I slowly turn away, or should I rather say I try, as I can only close my eyes
And I long for a little death, an everlasting sleep, until someone decides to wake me up again

And at night I find rest inside my very own microcosm
Parallel universe
So hard to not become addicted
As I seek myself in someone else

And I shut out the world; the sun’s denied the entrance in my place, since there’s nothing it could shine on
And I learn to steer my thoughts, don’t want them to get caught in the labyrinth of redigesting
And as I find out about the world with my room bathed in the moonlight it slowly becomes so small
Inside is the name of my escape’s direction since it’s the only way I know


And at night I find so little rest inside my very own microcosm
Parallel universe
So hard to not become addicted
As I have no clue what I’m looking for



The smoking hanging in my hair carries faces of my love, carries pictures of my heart
Both are nothing like what they’ve been before, but only one is torn apart
And I slowly close my eyes, and open them again, to think of my next turn
Outside is the name of my escape’s direction since it’s the only way I don’t know

and here's the music http://s13.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=34M5 ... BP8OTRDN85

a beautiful way to describe avoiding something that's so self-destructive - "labyrinth of redigesting" is what happens in my head way too often.



I have problems being critical about this poem / song, but if I had to pick on something it might be the very first phrase: The wind twirling up my hair seems a little off. The smoking hanging in my hair woirks better for me ..

the rest of it is very evocative, raz.

do you have a tune for it yet? I'd love to hear it.

alright thanks for your opinion. I'm glad you like that labyrinth line cause I was unsure how people might perceive it. that wind twirling up my hair line... well... yeah it probably needs some rework, although I'd like to stick the idea.
and yes, there is already a tune for it... I just need to really work it out and record it.

are you trying to say the wind is actually twirling your hair? or moving in a twirling pattern up your hair?

I have a problem imagining it .. but that's just me, it's still early, and I didn't get enough sleep last night.

I do want to hear it, tho - I think you have a great voice.

twirling my hair. and thank you for saying that you think that I have a great voice. I think I might record it this weekend.

i don't know what twirling means, so, what can i say. i'm suspicious to say anything about your writings, angel. i like the bittersweet tone of it.

"seek myself in someone else"... i think it's my favorite line.

twirling... in this context like the push and pull of the wind in the hair of the lyrical me of that poem.

glad you like something about it

alright. so here is the music to this

http://s13.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=34M5 ... BP8OTRDN85

unfortunately, the cord of my mic is broken... but you'll hear what I mean...

i like this a lot. it's kind of...more of the pop-rock style, and it's really nice. definitely makes me want to dance. i didn't think the music would be nearly this uptempo after reading the lyrics.

OK so I listened to it 5 times straight through. I really like it.

The lyrics, yeah, "So hard to not become addicted As I seek myself in someone else " I think this speaks to a lot of people. Wow. I feel the sadness of the words, and the intensity of the music...

I love listening to your voice. This song rocks.

And that ending..... phew! Got me all worked up!

Good job, Stefan.

alright. thanks a lot. actually the music and the lyrical style were very much inspired by another band... well. I guess you can tell which one.

oh hey. thank you very much, really. and... you know.

cool song Stefan

think i still prefer the Paint it Black cover

thank you very much.

Awesome song. It was my pleasrue playing it on RM Radio tonight.

four thanks to you... for listening, liking, spinning, and posting. ur da man, mister.

you know it already, but, anyway, i listened to the song yesterday and it was the first time ever i listened to you. and i was amazed. i listened to it for about an hour in a roll (until the bus was about to leave...). it had that "heart-strumming" effect, only potencialized by your voice and the music. it's music i would buy, you know, i just can't wait for the album, the waiting is driving me mad... ooops... i realize now that just Led Zeppelin and Pearl Jam make me feel this way. hmmm... interesting. i liked the punkish drive, it reminds me a little bit of Jimmy Eat World and Trail of Dead (don't be mad, i actually like those bands... sorry if you don't) but it has more drama, more width and certainly more darkness. without losing the sweetness. bittersweet, that's what i feel from you. and it was kinda moving because i feel proud to be able to say "Stefan? well, i know him, we're internet buddies, he's a great musician"... i think i'm your fan already. hmmmm... interesting. don't forget the autograph, ok?

oh wow... thank you very much... really. can't think of a better way to start the day than reading this... so sweet of you. wow... I'm really speechless. Thank you very much.

I really have to agree with you guys on this, eespecially Dea.

I loved it to bits! I can't wait for the album Stefan, I am in love with your voice, and I was listening to it thinking wow this is so bittersweet, (agreeing with Dea again on this)...

Good Luck sweetheart, not that you need too much 'luck' as you have a really beautiful gift. And yes, please don't forget us with the autograph's huh?

I agree with Bee Girl on the ending, found myself getting all revved up LOL it was awesome! Go Stefan!

oh wow thanks a lot. very sweet of you... really... thank you very much.