High School Principal Cancels Prom, Saying 'The Prom Culture Is Sick'

New York Catholic high school principal decries excessive spending, peer pressure, competition.

by Gil Kaufman

Pre-prom cocktail parties followed by rides in a liquor-decked limo, parents chartering boats for late-night booze-cruises, $10,000 party house rentals in the Hamptons. You might expect this kind of thing on prom night in Laguna Beach — but Uniondale, New York?

Brother Kenneth M. Hoagland is having none of it. The principal of Kellenberg Memorial High school in Long Island, New York, recently sent parents a letter telling them that he's decided to cancel this spring's prom. The reason? The school is "willing to sponsor a prom, but not an orgy."

"It is not primarily the sex/booze/
drugs that surround this event, as problematic as they might be; it is rather the flaunting of affluence, assuming exaggerated expenses, a pursuit of vanity for vanity's sake, in a word, financial decadence," Hoagland said in the 2,000-word letter, in which the principal of the private Roman Catholic school explained that he was fed up with the "bacchanalian aspects" of the high school rite of passage.

"Each year it gets worse, becomes more exaggerated, more expensive, more emotionally traumatic," he said. "We are withdrawing from the battle and allowing the parents full responsibility."

Hoagland started talking about the future of prom at Kellenberg last spring after officials forced 46 students to back out of a deal to rent a $20,000 Hamptons pad for a post-prom party. Some other parents ignored the principal's wishes and rented a Hampton house for their kids to party in anyway, Hoagland said.

"Peer pressure and competition create an atmosphere where young people are drawn into this prom culture which forces them to act, spend, show off, take risks which they would not normally do," Hoagland's letter read. "The prom culture is sick — from the hankering that starts in the freshman year ... to the preoccupation about dates, dress, competition that absorbs so much of the senior year. It isn't worth it on the mature scale of things."

In the letter, Hoagland also lashed out at the sight of prom-goers who were visibly hung over or still intoxicated at graduation the next day, and the pressure for students to have sex on prom nights, sometimes abetted by parents who rent hotel rooms for them after the dance.

Amy Best, the author of "Prom Night: Youth, Schools and Popular Culture," told The Associated Press that this is the first time she has heard of a school canceling the prom for such reasons.

"A lot of people have lamented the growing consumption that surrounds the prom," said Best, an associate professor of sociology and anthropology at George Mason University in Virginia, noting that it's not uncommon for students to spend $1,000 or more on the dance, expensive dresses, tuxedo rentals, flowers, limousines and pre- and post-prom parties.

As you might expect, the move brought strong reactions from parents and students. "I don't think it's fair, obviously, that they canceled prom," senior Alyssa Johnson told the AP. "There are problems with the prom, but I don't think their reasons or the actions they took solved anything."

The father of a Kellenberg senior said he and other parents are talking about organizing their own prom without the sponsorship of the 2,500-student school, where parents pay more than $6,000 in annual tuition.

"This is my fourth child to go through Kellenberg and I don't think they have a right to judge what goes on after the prom," said Edward Lawson. "They put everybody in the category of drinkers and drug addicts. I don't believe that's the right thing to do."

Parent Margaret Cameron applauded the move. "The school has excellent values," she said. "We send our children here because we support the values and the administration of the school, and I totally back everything they do."

Despite his efforts, Hoagland knows the cancellation won't necessarily change things. "Senior drinking parties will continue; three-day bashes will continue in the Hamptons; parents will continue to organize all these activities; a great deal of money will be spent," Hoagland concluded in this letter. "The only difference is Kellenberg Memorial High School will not be a part of that scene. That's all!"

whygodeep

They should cancel of their athletic events too. We did some serious drinking after and during HS football and basketball games.

The school is right.

As much as I admire the school's tactics, what's to stop some loaded Daddy Penny Bags from renting out an event hall?

Nothing. Thats the point. The school is just saying that it won't play host to the prom.

I like his style, prom is a nothing but a decadent popularity contest and anyone who consciously defends it either forgot their prom or have repressed their memories. Fuck all.

...the aristocrat choir sings, "whats the ruckus?"

Long Island, represent!

first, how can a school regulate how their students act outside of school? i can understand, perhaps, setting certain guidelines on a school sponsored trip since each student is a representative of that school and the school would want to garner a favourable opinion. but saying "we don't want you to have expensive parties after prom and since we can't stop you, we'll stop prom" seems to be not far from "we don't want you shopping at the prada store because it's too expensive so we'll ban you from wearing any of their things at any school function."

second, how can a school regulate how parents wish to spend their money? if a parent wants to charter out a boat for a party for their kid, how can the school stop them?

finally, didn't it ever occur to the school that the same parents that rent out houses in the hamptons and charter boats for parties would probably get together and throw the most extravagant prom ever?

That's the point; the principal is fine with an extravagant prom provided by the parents, he's just not going to let it be a school function anymore. I think it's a good move.

someone didnt have a date to the prom

I didn't go to prom.

So are they going to set a spending limit if they bring it back? No limos or rental cars? What exactly?

Stupid.

Wow, I never thought I could think of a scenario where members of the like would defend rich parents and spoiled pampered children. I guess all you have to do is interject religion into it.

I disagree, its the parents responsibility to see that their children behave properly on prom night, not the schools. Im sure there are certain kids at this school who do behave properly, and its not fair to them that their prom get canceled.

Its the parents that enable thier kids to get caught up in the idiotic spending and parading of wealth that is the prom. This sounds like a Christian school, and they have theological grounds to not allow this to happen at school. Why should the school sponsor something that goes against thier beliefs? And even putting the whole religious issue aside, prom is a tradition that sustains itself simply because its a tradition. There is no purpose for it.

i agree with bart d...it's not like he's trying to control what the kids do outside of school, but he's making a bold stand saying the school won't play host to it...ballsy move and open to a lot of criticism, but i don't blame him at all

If a public school cancelled prom because the administrators felt kids and parents were overindulgent, I would still think it was stupid. Religion has no bearing on my opinion in this matter.

Maybe you could make kids wear uniforms to prom.

I didn't go to my formal, which is the nearest thing to your prom. And the reasons were the same as the principal's.

The school I went to was really elitist for a start, you weren't allowed to bring a date outside your yeargroup (103 guys to 54 girls), so I couldn't bring my then girlfriend, it was at a hotel I hated, and it was basically an excuse for the richer-than-thous to outdo each other with limos and horse-drawn carriages and tailor made dresses etc. I was going to go with my mate, in a kilt, but apparently that wasn't allowed either. So I spent the money on partying, and ran around Indiana Land all night, which is a kind of jungle-jim type thing, it has a ball-pool and stuff, kind of hard to explain.