Moronic! Derivative! And even worse…inspirational!
10 Limpbizkit
“Behind Blue Eyes” Interscope
It’s never nice to kick a man whose career is on life-support, but did the world really need to hear about Fred Durst’s persecution complex?
9 Jet
“Cold Hard Bitch” Elektra
We’ll pound beers with them any time, but this is less a song than an SNL sketch, where a studied bar band paint on leather bellbottoms and howl about mean girls who won’t come back to their hotel.
8 Joss Stone
“Fell in Love With a Boy” S-Curve
Slack interpretation of a White Stripes classic sets comically breathy vocals to basslines plucked from softcore porn. And not in a good way.
7 Black Eyed Peas
“Let’s Get It Started” Interscope
It’s hard to “disconnect from all intellect and let the rhythm affect” when an MC with capri pants and Princess Leia hair is hurling some of the clumsiest rhymes since Vanilla Ice at you.
6 Josh Groban
“You Raise Me Up” Warner Bros.
Inspirational hit that sounds stitched from scraps of Céline Dion and the Lion King soundtrack. Makes “Wind Beneath My Wings” sound like the Ramones.
5 Five for Fighting
“100 Years” Columbia
In an extremely unpleasant falsetto, John Ondrasik spins off trite carpe-diem life lessons that would fit perfectly over the closing credits of any Lifetime original broadcast.
4 Toby Keith
“Whiskey Girl” Dreamworks
Since you were wondering, this red-state icon’s perfect woman wears blue jeans, scorns champagne and makes no fuss about her hair. Which is all clichéd and fine, but when he leers about her ’69 Mustang and says, “I like ’em rough,” it’s like listening to some ’roid-fueled braggart in a football locker room. Call it shock and ewww.
3 Eamon
“Fuck It (I Don’t Want You Back)” Jive
Granted, there’s an amount of moron genius required to turn “Fuck you, you ho” into a pop hook, but this Staten Island goomba makes you feel cripplingly sorry for his ex.
2 Nickelback
“Figured You Out” Roadrunner
Fellas, if you ever meet a girl who is kind enough to ignore your goatee and hemp necklace and perform fellatio on you, the least you can do is avoid gloating about the dirt on her knees and calling her your “favorite damn disease.”
1 Lenny Kravitz
“Lady” Virgin
The only things more wooden than the guitar playing are the lyrics (yep, Kravitz actually rhymes “she’s so fine” with “she blows my mind”). But the worst song of the year couldn’t have made it to the top without the help of that ubiquitous tie-in Gap commercial, in which rock’s silliest peacock meets Sarah Jessica Parker in a car-wreck of flared jeans and warmed-over riffs.
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 4:01 am Posts: 19477 Location: Brooklyn NY
I can't say I disagree
_________________
LittleWing sometime in July 2007 wrote:
Unfortunately, it's so elementary, and the big time investors behind the drive in the stock market aren't so stupid. This isn't the false economy of 2000.
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 4:01 am Posts: 19477 Location: Brooklyn NY
Quote:
9 Jet “Cold Hard Bitch” Elektra We’ll pound beers with them any time, but this is less a song than an SNL sketch, where a studied bar band paint on leather bellbottoms and howl about mean girls who won’t come back to their hotel.
"bar band"
_________________
LittleWing sometime in July 2007 wrote:
Unfortunately, it's so elementary, and the big time investors behind the drive in the stock market aren't so stupid. This isn't the false economy of 2000.
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 4:01 am Posts: 19477 Location: Brooklyn NY
Was Let's Get it Started by the Maroon 5?
They should have put 2 songs by them on that list
_________________
LittleWing sometime in July 2007 wrote:
Unfortunately, it's so elementary, and the big time investors behind the drive in the stock market aren't so stupid. This isn't the false economy of 2000.
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 10:53 pm Posts: 8066 Location: Las Vegas via Rockford (Roscoe), IL Gender: Female
Human Bass wrote:
dont forget "The Reason" !!! man...i hate this song!!!
_________________ Frank Kevin
At night I drink myself to sleep and pretend I don't care that you're not here with me Cause it's so much easier to handle all my problems if I'm too far out to sea
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 5:14 am Posts: 78 Location: San Francisco, CA
That is actually one of the better lists I have seen. I don't disagree with a single one of them. And I am thrilled they put Lenny Kravitz up there. I hate all the "selling out" talk that gets thrown around in music so often, but if anyone has sold out, it's Lenny. When is the last time he has written a song that didn't sound like it was written specifically for a commercial?
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 11:02 pm Posts: 1777 Location: Naperville, IL, USA Ten Club: 230xxx Gender: Male
That Kravitz song is so fucking terrible. What a dill weed.
Sad thing is, I have to hear these songs all the time...they pipe in XM radio at my workplace and set it to "top 20". Yes that's right, not even top 40. And I work 10 hour shifts.
_________________ Saw you at: 4/23/03, 6/13/03, 6/18/03, 9/28/04, 9/29/04, 10/5/04, 5/16/06, 5/17/06, EV 8/22/08, 8/23/09, 8/24/09, 10/31/09, 5/7/10, EV 6/28/11, 9/3/11, 9/4/11!
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