just wrote and recorded this song today

http://s33.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1PLH ... X6JD1AQTXQ

i'm pretty proud of it and looking for input


lyrics:
she was lost on the other side of space
adrift with a rearranged smile on her face
everything is wasted but i know it from the start
i send my ships to get her, but they never depart

staring down the vegetables floating above her tray
destruction is a dream of hers, she's vested in its weight
she's calling on the architects to build her a safe
where meteors will smash it every single day
and all the sentimental things i felt in her direction
left me damaged and depleted, limp with an infection

no one ever told me it can get you down
when there's no gravity to keep you on the ground
space can be tragedy if you look at it that way
but what's the point of living if you're going to play it safe

i added a better mix in the edit*

thats fucking awsome dude

I like this, it almost reminds me of the dandy warhols. trust me, thats a compliment
how did you do the drums? They sound crystal clear.

It feels quite sixties - there's a david bowie/velvet underground feel mixed in with some modern influences.

i listen to a bunch of sixties stuff, i'm suprised that you hear it, but right on.... the drums were done with reason a computer program, so were the synths and distorted piano... but great program... really professional samplers, loopers, synths, drum machines

Well. It's good, you definitely know your stuff, you definitely can sing. Just. Were you going for it to sound like Space Oddity?

oh and I like the lyrics, I really do. The first few lines put me off, but reading further and seeing them as a whole they really grew on me.

It's only because I listen to a fair amount of it myself. I dig your stuff - liked the lyrics, particularly the delivery - slightly ethereal, which was cool.

I like it. I can say with all honesty this is the best real song yet i've heard from an RMer. Very Bowie-esque. I really dig the synth.

i really apprechiate you guys listening, thanks for the comments, i wasn't really shooting for bowie, though i get that everytime i write a song with space... it is my favorite bowie song...

i was listening to a lot of grandaddy before recording that's where i got the synth stuff i think... i'm glad you like it, i'm a huge fan of synths in moderation

i'm glad you like the lyrics, means a lot to me

I really like the part where the synths come in with no singing. otherwise its decent, probyl the best song i've heard on RM though.

the link has expired. can you re-post it?